Feeding to sleep and returning to work!!

[Me2pru]

Hi mums! It’s my first time on here and I’ve spent the last 10 months gaining so much advice from mumsnet I thought I’d give it a go myself.
My baby is 10 months old and is currently having 2 naps a day. He currently feeds (breast) to sleep and I’ve tried to encourage him to settle without boob in mouth but it’s such a struggle. Has anyone got any advice? I’m returning to work in 8 weeks and will be working mornings only and one long day. My parents will be looking after him. He loves napping in the buggy but I don’t expect them to walk him everyday.. I just don’t know the solution? Also I’m having a battle trying to get baby to accept my expressed breast milk but he’s refusing! Help! Feeling so stressed and anxious. Xx

[riverbat]

I returned to work full time when DS (breastfed to sleep for naps and night time) was 12 months old. He was having two naps a day but nursery had a schedule of one nap a day so that's what he moved onto when there (he carried on having two a day for longer at home on weekends).

I asked them to offer him cows milk in a cup before nap, although he wasn't v interested in it. I didn't pump. They used bouncers to rock the babies to sleep and he managed to get to sleep like this from day one.

He's now two and is still fed to sleep for naps and night time at home, but at nursery just goes to sleep on a mat with no bother.

I had been really worried when on maternity leave that he wouldn't sleep at nursery but it was all fine.

[Helen120]

Hi @Me2pru just wondering how you're getting on? I'm in the same position and feeling awful about it - my nearly-12-month old feeds to sleep for 2 naps a day and night time. I'm trying to wean him off it but it's not going well. I can unlatch him fairly easily but it's that initial "getting him off to sleep" where only boob will do! Literally nothing else works, not rocking, patting, shushing, singing, routine, story, PUPD, CC.....if he's super-tired he'll doze off in a moving buggy or in the car but it's not a given. I'm back to work in a fortnight and he'll be two days at nursery and two days with family, and I'm just dreading it because I'm sure he won't get any daytime sleep. Tell me it'll be ok!

[Me2pru]

Hello! Aw your message really touched my heart strings as I honestly feel everything you are feeling! And I know how anxious you must be feeling.
So I’ve been back at work now for 5 weeks. I work 4 mornings and 1 whole day! A week before I went back to work I decided I had to make my fiancé attempt to put him to sleep. We have this luxury as he is still working from home and he would be the one to put him down for his morning nap. I have to say the first couple of days was awful and he screamed so much ( baby not fiancé haha) and I had to step in to help which really stressed me as I know it wasn’t the best thing to do. But by the 2nd/3rd day he managed to do it! He found his own way and technique and they have been fine ever since. I think timings with naps are crucial so if baby is really tired they will want to sleep! Although it was hard Initially and not very nice to hear or see, now my fiancé is a pro and actually he gets him to sleep better than me. I still feed to sleep for afternoon naps and weekends and I don’t think this will ever change for as long as I’m breast feeding! I’ve learnt that babies are so adaptable. They get upset and unsettled for a couple of days and then they accept it. So maybe if you can ask someone to attempt to put baby to sleep whilst you’re still at home. I know they won’t be the ones to do it but it will help when they go to nursery. Or you could just be brave and let the change happen when nursery starts? The staff will be amazing and know all the tricks and tips. I’m a primary school teacher but have worked in nurseries for years so I want to reassure you. With the family who will be caring for him, can you get them over t start practising? I know it is so hard and stressful. I’m lucky to only work mornings. On my long day he naps in a buggy on a walk with his grandma. My other issue was milk! As I was so determined to get him to take expressed milk so he could still feed to sleep but he absolutely refuses but he is totally fine without my milk in the mornings and he manages on the long day! They are stronger than us I think! But my goodness he really does make up for lost time when I get home or at weekends! Serious boob addict! I hope I’ve reassured you? It will be ok. But I honestly know how you must be feeling. Please message again if you want to talk about anything xx p.s .. good luck, you and your baby have got this! Xxx

[Helen120]

Thanks so much @Me2pru, really appreciate your thoughts! We're trialling me-not-being-around this week ahead of nursery/back to work next week. I had thought about expressed milk too, in case the taste of it helps, but I guess we'll have to see. My husband did try a nap a few days ago but it was a bit of a disaster...but maybe we need to stick at it. Sounds like we'll come through somehow, so thanks again for your post - I think half the battle is just knowing other ppl have been through the same thing and you're not alone! As you say, babies are more adaptable than we give them credit for, so hopefully we'll figure it all out, fingers crossed!

[AegonT]

It'll be fine. I returned to work when my baby was 7 months old. She would only nap in the car, settle with a breastfeed and refused all bottles or cups of milk.

She slept in a stationary pushchair at the childminder's house - she would never do that at home. I expect your parents and her will work something out too.

I breastfed her on my lunch break till she was 12 months then just before work and at bedtime. She just had food and water at the childminder's house.