CC not working / can't stomach it anymore

(2 Posts)
Rkj7819 Sun 03-Jan-21 20:17:38

My daughter is nearly 1 years old. She was always a pretty bad sleeper (up every 1-2 hours from the start!), we co-slept and I breastfed up until about 9/10 months. I then got pregnant and as I stopped breastfeeding we used the opportunity to move her into her own room and try sleep training. I was always quite against leaving to cry methods (for me personally) but I was back working full time, morning sickness and just felt like I couldn't continue with the way things were.

She responded very quickly to the controlled crying method on the first night (we didn't have to leave her longer than 6 mins) and then generally slept 12/13 hours unless she was ill or teething. The problem is due to her age and being at nursery with lots of other babies she's constantly ill or teething...and every time after she's better we have to re-start the controlled crying because she won't settle when ill and I end up co-sleeping again.

Tonight we tried to re-start it again and I just thought enough is enough...it's upsetting me so much and feels totally at odds with my parenting style, it makes me feel so guilty and we have to repeat so often I thought I can't do it. I've also since had a miscarriage so I feel a bit more resilient in terms of morning sickness etc. Although I would obviously rather not go back to the 1-2 hour wakings.

Has anyone had any success switching to a more gentle method like gradual retreat? I know she can self soothe and can put her dummy in herself etc so hoping it won't be too tricky. I know switching between sleep training and occasional co-sleeping when she's ill won't be helping but I don't know what else to do when she's up all night as I have to work the next day so it's the easiest way.

I would go back to co-sleeping full time but my husband has had enough of it..he can't sleep with our daughter in the bed so we were in separate rooms for most of the year. We're TTC again so he wants a little bit of time as a couple before baby 2 arrives. I thought maybe I could try and get her to at least stay the first part of the night in her cot then maybe I just get a small mattress for her room to co-sleep in there if she's having a bad night after midnight.

OP’s posts: |
ScrapThatThen Sun 03-Jan-21 20:51:38

Yes, I think gradual retreat (or rapid return once out of cot) works well, although I am not averse to cc (dd1 needed to be left, dd2 was better with a quick soothe and retreat.

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