Naps and bedtime routine

(15 Posts)
Sls668 Sat 02-Jan-21 18:53:42

My baby is 8 weeks old on Tuesday and I really want to try get to grips with her day and night time sleeping if possible.
In the morning, she won’t wake up until about 9am and then within an hour is ready for another nap. This is her best nap of the day and we usually get about 45-90 minutes (sleeping on us). From then on, it seems to go slightly downhill! Her naps get shorter and shorter as the day goes on, usually only lasting about 20-30 minutes!
She won’t go down in her Moses basket, bouncy chair to sleep, she just wakes up and cries so most sleeps are on us or in the pram on a walk.
On a night, we had been letting her sleep on us in the living room then taking her up to bed when we go at around 11-12, this was working fine. We were co-sleeping and she’d sleep until 9am, just waking for a couple of sleepy feeds.
This week she has been refusing her sleep and fussing on and off from 9pm until 12.30am, it’s been such a fight to get her to go to sleep.
So, long story short, what age did you start a bedtime routine for your babies? I know you’re not supposed to leave them in a room on their own until 6 months but I don’t see any other way to get her settled downstairs with us.
I’m not looking for any ‘cry it out’ techniques 😊

OP’s posts: |
Sls668 Sat 02-Jan-21 18:55:40

Just to add, over the past week, she’s been sleeping in her own bed (bedside crib) through the night, usually going in at about 12am, waking at 4 and 7 for feeds and then getting in our bed and sleeping til 9.30

OP’s posts: |
hannjocelyn Sat 02-Jan-21 18:59:14

I did a bedtime routine from quite early I can't remember exact.
Maybe it because she is used to sleeping on you so when you put her somewhere else she isn't sure.

You could try allowing her to fall asleep on you and then move her to her Moses or swing chair- that's what I used to do with my little boy, and he got used to sleeping in his chair and bedside cot pretty quickly and we never co-slept either.

Maybe try and get a morning routine in, try getting her up earlier than 9, try 8ish and see if that helps, try not letting her nap for so long in the morning as well.

I understand each baby is different but just a few ideas x

SRK16 Sat 02-Jan-21 19:03:05

This all sounds so normal, I think you need to adjust your expectations. At 8 weeks they are so tiny still, have you read about the fourth trimester?
You can start a bedtime routine at any age but all it needs to be is nappy change/wash singing a couple of songs and getting them dressed for bed.

Gatehouse77 Sat 02-Jan-21 19:07:25

We started a bedtime routine from around 3 months old/when they were sleeping roughly 7-11pm. This was bath, massage, low lighting, etc., feed and bed. One thing I absolutely insisted on was that meant they didn't come downstairs again until morning even if it meant going up and down like a yo-yo. Only low level lighting for nappy changes and limited 'talking' to avoid stimulation.

Sls668 Sat 02-Jan-21 19:43:18

@hannjocelyn @Gatehouse77 thank you for your suggestions. I think I’m apprehensive to put her down once she’s asleep or wake her up earlier in the morning is because I worry that she isn’t getting enough sleep so I don’t want to hinder the bits of good sleep that she is getting.

@SRK16 yes, I have read about fourth trimester hence the reason she is pretty much attached to me 24/7. I was just looking for other people’s experiences on when and how they introduced a bit more structure so that she can get some better sleep because, at the moment, she doesn’t appear to be getting much deep sleep at all

OP’s posts: |
sleepslikeababy Sat 02-Jan-21 20:36:39

Hi OP,

We started a bed time routine very early on but with very low expectations. It was basically bath, pjs, feed in the dark, white noise, bed. His bedtime is dictated by the time his last nap ended so wasn’t always at the same time. Over time he has built an association with the routing and bed time so he’s quite easy to put down now (at 6 months). At 8 weeks he was not!

We found once his day time sleep improved, his night sleep followed. If your LOs day time sleep is poor that might be one reason why they’re struggling to fall asleep at night? If mine slept poorly in the day he would be extremely difficult to get down at night. We worked hard on day time sleep and saw some slow improvement. We held him for every nap (like you do) and resettled if he woke after 45 minutes. He ended up having 3 or 4 almost 2 hour naps a day! Was difficult to be tied down to holding a baby for that long each day but he soon grew out of it and now sleeps in his cot bed, unswaddled for all naps (if we’re home) and night time sleep. Have you tried resettling to extend naps?

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sarahc336 Sat 02-Jan-21 20:43:07

It's a Good idea for you guys to start to set a loose bedtime routine but at 8 weeks she's still really young to follow it herself perfectly, now is the time more to practise a routine. So by all means do the whole pyjamas, read her a story snd dim the lights thing but she's still very young to be in a full nap/bedtime routine. It sounds for 8 weeks your doing really well, her routine will naturally fall into place trust me smile xx

Keha Sat 02-Jan-21 21:27:59

This sounds just like my baby. We started a bit of a routine about this point but it was aimed at getting her in bed with me at about 9:30. It was probably 5 months ish that we started a set routine. Also at that age it felt like she was asleep more than awake. I didn't think too much about naps, just let her fall asleep when tired. It was about 4/5 months when she started having 3 set naps a day.

Sls668 Sat 02-Jan-21 22:13:14

@Keha @sarahc336 sounds like we’re all thinking of a similar loose plan for the evenings, more just something to work towards rather than strict. Thanks for the reassurance!

@sleepslikeababy (I have laughed at the irony of your name!). I think that’s our main problem, she gets so overtired by the evening that she gets really difficult to settle for her ‘night sleep’.
I think I’ll give the resettling a bit more perseverance like you’ve suggested! It looks like the snow will stop us getting out and about early week so gives a good time to try it, thank you!

OP’s posts: |
Shameless29 Sun 03-Jan-21 00:37:11

Following this- my baby is 8 weeks old and following exactly the same pattern!

Would love to find out how to get him to sleep a bit earlier - especially with breastfeeding!

sleepslikeababy Sun 03-Jan-21 11:10:47

@Sls668

Whoever coined the phrase had clearly never met and actual human baby 😂

Technically I DO sleep like a baby...badly!

Anyway, it sounds like you’re doing a great job!

Sls668 Sun 03-Jan-21 12:06:43

@Shameless29 I thought we’d had a break through last night and she slept from around 9pm until 11pm but then was really unsettled from 11-12.30 (that seems to be the time she struggles the most).
The wonder weeks app says she’s at the end of a leap so I don’t know if that is making a difference, it has been our hardest week so far! She also has her jabs this week which I’m dreading, I don’t know if just to return to co-sleeping until she’s had her jabs as i was told to expect her to be off it for a few days afterwards. At least that way, we’re all getting some decent sleep! Then the other half of me thinks I need to keep going now I’ve started!!

OP’s posts: |
Keha Sun 03-Jan-21 12:23:23

@Sls668

I've read plenty saying we should be consistent and if you start a plan, stick to it etc.

But I've always done whatever seemed doable at the time. I figure babies change so much and there are so many things that impact on sleep I can't see how doing things one very set way will work. I also think my ancient ancestors didn't have clocks, couldn't time naps or wake windows, I imagine they just went with the flow. I've tended to feel happier in myself when I've been more relaxed and tried not to worry about things or have to work to very set rules.

daisydalrymple Sun 03-Jan-21 12:35:13

Just a thought on the day time sleeps, you say she’ll nap ok in the pram on a walk, could you try take her out for a walk 2/3 times a day for her naps for a week or so? She might then start to associate prams with her naps in the day.
Dc3 spent so much time in the baby carrier / pram on the school run etc, that if I was home with him and it was nap time I’d just pop him in the pram with bedtime music on and push him back & forth for ten mins or so till he dropped off.

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