Cosleeping help!!!

[OhToBeASeahorse]

DD is 12 weeks. We have coslept from very early on.

To begin with she was fine on her back but it has now got to the point where I cant move her. So she sleeps on her side against me. I pop her head against my boob so it is firmly facing upwards. Then I try and sleep without moving
She doesnt have a sleeping bag as she would get too hot.

I hate it. I mean I love the cuddle but I cannot move and I'm so so worried about her moving and not being able to breathe

Any advice about how I can either get her to sleep alone or get her to sleep more safely?

[icantstandhorridhenry]

Sorry if I sound abit blunt in this and I really don't mean to but why are you co sleeping? Isn't it advised not to to avoid accidental suffocation, injury, SIDS ect...?

[OhToBeASeahorse]

No. Safe cosleeping isnt advised against at all.

And I think it's quite clear where I said she wont sleep otherwise...

But thanks.

[edgeware]

Useless comment above

When she has finished feeding (I’m assuming you are breastfeeding) and has fallen more deeply asleep, could you move her onto her back and move her a bit further away?
My DS is 8 weeks and I edge away from him once he is asleep. He is in a sleeping bag, I keep covers away from him. Room is 18 degrees.

[icantstandhorridhenry]

Like I said I didn't mean to sound blunt, I think it was the kind of question I asked.

I only ask because I have a 3 week old and hadn't heard of safe co-sleeping before as I'd been straight up advised against it, what does that entail? Sometimes it would be beneficial to co-sleep 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm sorry you're struggling your end with getting your DD to sleep on her own, I'm sure you will get there eventually 😊

[OhToBeASeahorse]

@edgeware she seems to roll towards me which freaks me out - I figure she is safer leaning against me
@icantstandhorridhenry google the safe 7. It's easy to safely cosleep if you want to

[edgeware]

If she can roll and has good head control you probably don’t need to worry too much about her breathing if she is against you. But that doesn’t help you sleep more comfortably of course. I would still keep trying to gently move her away (or move away from her) as soon as she is properly out and you can hear deep breathing. I know my DS is younger but when he is properly out he doesn’t wake if I move him away a bit! There is definitely a point in their sleep where they will not notice - you might just need to learn to recognise when that is for her. With my first DS it was probably about 10 min, less with DS2!

[roarfeckingroarr]

11 week DS is the same. To be honest, it doesn't worry me anymore. When possible I feed him to sleep then tip him onto his back, but I've read up a lot in co sleeping groups and consensus is that this is quite natural and common.

[icantstandhorridhenry]

@OhToBeASeahorse thank you 😊

[edgeware]

@icantstandhorridhenry it’s a bit old fashioned to completely advise against it and also unrealistic. As the lullaby trust state; most parents will end up bedsharing with their baby at some point so it’s better for people to know how to do it safely. Co-sleeping is also the norm across many cultures and countries. Basically if baby is not premature and you are not obese or under the influence of drugs or alcohol there is no problem. Keep pillows and bedding away, nothing near baby that could go over their head. The lullaby trust have guidelines you can look up.
Personally I think it’s normal for babies to want to be near us when they’re sleeping, and I also feel more secure having my DS close and can feel/hear him breathing. I have one older DS and with him I worried about bad habits etc... But with DS2 I now know how fast it all goes and am enjoying having him close to me! They are only that tiny and cuddly for a short time! I am also getting far far more sleep this time around...

[lcdododo]

@icantstandhorridhenry

Like I said I didn't mean to sound blunt, I think it was the kind of question I asked.

I only ask because I have a 3 week old and hadn't heard of safe co-sleeping before as I'd been straight up advised against it, what does that entail? Sometimes it would be beneficial to co-sleep 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm sorry you're struggling your end with getting your DD to sleep on her own, I'm sure you will get there eventually 😊

This is a massive issue with society. You are simply told a blanket "don't co sleep"

Please take the time to research and you'll see that safe co sleeping is exactly that, safe.

[OhToBeASeahorse]

Thanks everyone.

She cant roll yet. She didnt mind being moved too much when she was swaddled but I felt that wasnt safe as she then rolled into me like some sort of helpless floundering sausage.

[Goodebe]

I do slept with all three of mine from an early age and by 12 weeks was much happier to do so as they are a bit stronger and more robust. My third also liked to be pressed against me, sill does almost 2! I used to move all pillows, duvet etc away from them. Also put lo’s in a sleeping bag. I found that I was always aware of where they were and when they woke or moved, you don’t sleep very deeply when they are in with you.

[edgeware]

Helpless floundering sausage 😂

[OhToBeASeahorse]

I have my pillow wedged between my shoulder and my head and I'm on the edge of it so it doesmt obstruct her.

I miss snuggling into my duvet so much.

[GlennRheeismyfavourite]

OP my baby is 5 weeks old a d I'm in exactly the same position- he will only really fall asleep and stay asleep on this side. I'm terrified of him falling forward in the night or smothering himself against me and me not waking up. I follow all the safe cosleeping guidelines but the one about putting them on their back is really hard seeing as he wants to sleep on his side