Linking sleep cycles- what worked for you?

(8 Posts)
SleepCyclesZzz Tue 29-Dec-20 12:02:20

My 20 week old is currently unable to link sleep cycles at all really, despite being able to self settle (not always but often) at the start of naps and bedtime. This means she is waking 45 mins after every nap, and 2 hourly at the start of the night, and 1 hourly after 3am.

What actually helped yours in the end?
Just giving it time?
Wake to sleep?
Resettling each cycle?
Crying it out? :S

We are all suffering from not enough sleep so feeling quite desperate

OP’s posts: |
theresaplaceforus Tue 29-Dec-20 15:57:59

I can’t offer much suggestion but my 11 week old has started doing this after being able to sleep for 6/7 hour stretches so following to see responses.

FlingingFlangingHardToOpen Tue 29-Dec-20 16:04:08

Basically lived with it until we felt it was the right time for us to start sleep training, think that was about 10 months. Some sleep train sooner, some never do it. It was right for us and I’ve no regrets, got a good sleeper now aged 2 and a bit and very secure in his attachment etc.

All my sympathies on the lack of sleep, this sleep regression absolutely did us in but it does get better. If it’s possible to take shifts, share the load, nap in the day etc then just give yourself permission to do all of the above!

FATEdestiny Tue 29-Dec-20 17:58:32

I would always, always try to resettle.

The key to a successful resettle is to get to baby before waking up. You often see a 'tell' that baby is moving from a deep sleep into a light sleep. It might be crunching face up, shuffling position or a sigh-noise. By the time it's a cry or eyes open, it's probably too late to resettle. Try to respond to any slight disturbance with your resettle technique (dummy in, hand on chest, patting, shushing, whatever you use) so that baby goes deep sleep > light sleep > deep sleep (new cycle) rather than it being light sleep > wake.

SleepCyclesZzz Tue 29-Dec-20 19:55:11

Thanks @FATEdestiny

I have been trying to go in before she wakes so at 25/30/35 mins etc but when she slightly stirs whatever I do just seems to wake her more and then it becomes v difficult to resettle. In the day it's a shh, pat and dummy. At night I will try this but to resettle quicker its increasingly becoming a feed (she is breastfed) just so she (and we) get back to sleep more quickly as I'm worried she isn't getting enough sleep either.

I have met other mums whose babies are all sleeping with one night wake or through the night and while I think that's the other end of the spectrum of normal it's so so hard not to compare and I feel like I'm failing her.

Lockdowns etc dont help with being able to call on extra support here and there to catch up a bit.

I'm wondering whether to just have a week of holding her for naps to fill her sleep tank a bit and then try again but would reintroducing such a level of sleep input undo the self settling methods she was developing?

We do routine before naps and bed - essentially blackout room, white noise, story, lullaby and sleep phrase (longer at bedtime) and try and keep a close eye on awake times and sleepy cues.

OP’s posts: |
Hellothere19999 Wed 30-Dec-20 12:13:18

Hiya, I know it’s really difficult but the best thing I’ve read is that baby’s sleep progress is not linear. And do not compare your baby to other baby’s. At all. I have done everything you are “supposed” to do and my 11 month old is just not a great sleeper unless she’s absolutely nackered. People say you should teach them to self settle so that when they do stir they are in the same place etc as when they went to sleep but this doesn’t work for my daughter. All baby’s are different and just trust your gut to figure out what works for you. I have found in the past that literally just shoving my boob in her mouth quickly when she’s stirring has helped 😂 your baby really likes and you are warm and cosy! (That’s what I tell myself anyway) good luck. xx

Keha Wed 30-Dec-20 13:16:26

My DD can't get herself to sleep (she is rocked, fed etc). However she links some sleep cycles, can do 5 hours in her cot at a go. Appreciate that is not sleeping through, but is manageable. We didn't do anything, she's just very slowly got better at it since about 4 months.


larrythelizard Wed 30-Dec-20 13:21:28

Lucy Wolfe is a sleep expert and has some books which are good.

She doesn't think that babies are ready for sleep training until 6mo so maybe your little one just isn't cognitively capable of it.

Sounds like you're doing really well if they can self settle at the start of a nap already!

Hang in there, it gets easier. Oh, and ignore the ones who's babies sleep through the night and have done since they were a day old or whatever!!

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