2yr old hitting and biting only at bedtime-help

(1 Post)
Lounah Sat 26-Dec-20 14:25:52

My son rarely hits or bites during the day and he generally responds really well to being asked to stop doing something. He still breastfeeds to sleep and we bed-share. Until this recent phase started I had been encouraging him to fall asleep on his own, having one breastfeed and then laying down alone with just my hand on his back for reassurance until he drifted off.
Recently he's become afraid of the dark and I think it's around the same time that bedtimehas become so hard. He starts out by breastfeeding but doesn't then fall asleep like he used to, instead he starts jumping on the bed, thrashing his arms and legs about and hitting and biting me. I tell him to stop, I repeat the same things about laying down, gentle hands, time to sleep, etc., I try to distract and comfort him with cuddles, songs, bedtime stories, but nothing works. He sometimes asks to nurse but I usually say no as I would like him to be able to fall asleep on his own like he used to. Even if I offer him a feed he will most often continue to hit and thrash about.
He gets so hyper and lashes out so much I often have to leave the room for a time out or get my husband to take over, he is slightly better at first for my husband but will hit and kick him too. After a while (an hour or two) my son will ask to breastfeed again and I usually give in because I'm worn down and he'll be so tired by that time (9/10pm) he'll fall asleep. I feel like he could be trying anything to avoid sleeping because of the dark? I also feel like he's angry at my for not breastfeeding when I do say no, I can see that he wants comfort and I'm not sure if I'm being mean by not just nursing and should give up on him sleeping independently for now?
I'm so worn down by this every night and I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Any insights/advice greatly appreciated. If you've been through this and it's a phase please let me know it'll pass!
(He wakes up 7am, naps 12-2pm, dinner at 5.30pm and quiet time/bedtime routine from 6.30pm, goes to bed at 7.30pm)

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