11 month old naps:set times, wake windows or sleep cues?

[Mahonia]

My 11 month old only naps for 30 mins at a time. On a very rare, amazing occasion, she might nap for a full 1hr 20 mins, so I know it's possible. I'm wondering if she is overtired as her sleep is pretty poor anyway, she usually averages 11.5 hours in 24.

I tend to follow wake windows for her naps, usually around 3 hours between wake up and morning nap, and 3.5 hours between morning lunch naps. Her lunch nap is usually 30 mins, wake, resettle, another 30 mins. She does sometimes rub her eyes earlier than I would expect her to based on the wake windows, should I get her ready for a nap when I see her sleep cues, or stick to the windows? Or do I need to try to start a set time routine?

Any advice would be very gratefully received. Thank you.

[dottyrobin]

My little girl is also 11months and we've tried to have a "proper" routine since Sept as I was going back to work but taking her with me (!)
She's been in this routine for about 3 weeks now.

Wake: 8am
Short breastfeed
Breakfast: 9am
Small bottle: 10:30am
Nap: 11-12
Lunch: 12:30
Snack (or small bottle): 2:30pm
Nap: 3-4pm
Dinner: 5:30pm
Small breastfeed: 6:50pm
Bedtime at 7, asleep by 7:30pm

So on average 12ish hours a night and 2 hours ish during the day.
It feels to me she's sleeping quite a lot at the moment, about 4 weeks ago she was sleeping the same nap times but bedtime was a major battle and she wasn't going to sleep until midnight!!
Only recently it feels she's learnt to actually go to sleep on her own with no battle.

[JimandPam]

I think the big question is how is your baby going to sleep?

My DS didn't start to sleep for long periods until he leant to get to sleep on his own. Once he was able to go from being awake to asleep, things slowly started improving until he now does sleep for about 2.5 hours in the day and 11ish overnight. He's about to turn 1.

But....every baby is so different! Some need less sleep than others! Not helpful, I know!

[Mahonia]

Thank you @dottyrobin for your routine, are you finding it easier now with set times? Did she always wake around 8am or did that arise from setting the routine? I use wake windows at the moment as DD can wake any time from 06:00 - 07:00, and for the last few nights around 05:15

@JimandPam she currently feeds to sleep which I'm sure is the main problem, but I'm slowly trying to break the habit. Up until a month ago she wouldn't nap in her cot, all naps were on me, but now she has a feed, gets dozey, I pop her in the cot on her back and she rolls on to her side and sleeps. I do think I'll have to sleep train her, particularly as she starts nursery in the new year. Was hoping if I tweaked her wake windows or set a routine she'd just start linking her cycles magically herself like she occasionally does... I'm just jealous of the other mums who feed to sleep and don't seem to have the same problem (actual envy)

[dottyrobin]

For the first 6 months I breastfed her to sleep and then held her for every nap - it was exhausting. I found if I put her anywhere else once asleep she would wake after 30mins, if I held her she would nap for an hour.
I couldn't carry on like that forever so my husband took over daytime sleep by rocking her gently. We soon realised she was getting heavy quick so that was also not ideal!! Transitioned to naps in the pram which we still do now.

Nighttime feed then putting down worked fine.... Until it didn't! 8-10months night time sleep was hellish waking all the time, early starts. I even tried to cosleep but she was just.not.sleeping!

Husband decided he would sit in the room and sing to her until she fell asleep on her own - no rocking, no feeding.
First night it took maybe 2-3 hours but that didn't matter, she fell asleep on her own!! For us that was a turning point. It has very slowly progressed from there, I would sit in with her until she fell asleep on her own maybe an hour or so?

I then started getting frustrated I wanted my evenings back . I used to WFH a little once she was asleep and if I sat with her for hours on end I wasn't getting any work done.
One night when I had a deadline for something and it was getting to 9pm and she was still not asleep I left her on her own for a couple of mins so I could write an email, went back in told her it was okay, went back out and wrote another email etc.
I've since found out this is similar to controlled crying??
I didn't want to leave her to cry and felt immense guilt but guess what, she fell asleep in less than 10minutes?!

Since then she's been going to sleep on her own absolutely fine. I'm sure something else will change and she'll be waking all through the night again but I'm happy that I know that she CAN sleep on her own.

In answer to the nap question, nap time and bedtime was an hour earlier as she did used to wake earlier but it had just naturally gotten later. When she was waking at 6,the latest I would nap her would be 9am.

[Mahonia]

Hi @dottyrobin thanks for your reply. It sounds like you've done really well with her sleep. I have tried putting her in her cot awake but she often gets very distraught. I do wonder if I should try leaving her to it for a few mins and see what happens, I usually stay in her room and try to do the 'stay and support' approach but I think this might make it worse as she can see me but I'm not picking her up for a cuddle. I'll try leaving the room briefly tonight! Wonder if I can get her settling at night then maybe naps will be naturally easier to crack...?

[Timeturnerplease]

Some are just built for shorter naps. My now two year old doesn’t nap any more, but from 6 weeks old only ever napped for half an hour maximum. Was never fed or rocked to sleep or anything, she just hated napping. Nursery were convinced that it would rectify itself when she started there, but had to admit defeat after a few weeks and concede that she just doesn’t like sleeping in the day!