I'm so done, I just dont know what to do

[Whuut]

I'll try not to make this too long. I just dont know what to do anymore. My 17mo is just the worst sleeper and nothing helps. Recently after me starting work again (after losing my other job to covid) I decided to night wean- hes bf. The first week seemed fine, I stayed on the sofa and my partner did all the nights but it got too much as DS was just waking for hours in the middle of the night or waking for the day at 4am. I then went upstairs and now he is just waking and screaming for hours, saying 'boobie' constantly. I have tried giving him water, I always explain to him that boobie is for day time and when we go to sleep theres no more. I'm just so tired. Its been 17 months of pretty much hourly waking, the best I've had this year was a 3.5hr stretch.

For context, we are living at my mums atm because of losing my job, we only have one bedroom, we cosleep and always have but dont have a choice not to right now because of room setup and until now he has had boob on tap whenever he wants. I knew taking it away would be hard but I thought it would atleast improve things.

Sorry for rambling I just dont even know what to do anymore. I dont feel like this will ever end

[Doublebubblebubble]

Right. I'll probably be called out on this to hell but I breastfed my eldest 20 months. My youngest 19months. I have walked this walk. The only way and I do mean the ONLY way i could stop my eldest wanting the boob was milk. Whole cows milk in a sippy cup at night, not a lot, but enough to fill her up?? I have been there. I'm presuming your ds doesn't have a dummy (neither of mine did). Im also assuming no allergy to cows milk?
It'll take time, of course, but when you are that desperate for sleep we do anything. Just say that youve put mummies milk in a special cup now and be firm with your nos. Its hard hearing them need you but YOU need to take care of yourself as well. It is okay to put you first. You cant help him if you're running on fumes. I hope this helps!

[Whuut]

@Doublebubblebubble Thank you so much for replying. We as a household dont drink cows milk but he has a full bottle of oat milk at bedtime with his dad and then I offer another one at 4/5am as that's sometimes when he just wont go back to sleep. It's so difficult, hes obsessed with boob and I'm not ready to stop during the day yet so he has it sometimes but not others, I dont know if this is confusing him.

I go through phases but right now I am really struggling. I suffered with PND and I can feel some of the feelings creeping back. This isnt totally to do with sleep but nothing is easy when you're sleep deprived. Thanks again for your reply. It's kind of helped just to write it all down.

[Doublebubblebubble]

Ahh haa!!

Right my love you have kind of answered your own problem.

You need to go full. cold. turkey. with the boob. Both of you do.

Hes addicted to the boob
Youre addicted to comforting him.

At 17 months, there really shouldn't be a lot of pain for you because bubs is just comforting and not feeding, (does he eat a lot breakfast, lunch, dinner? Make sure hes eating as much as he can) there wont be a lot of milk that needs to dry up. (Hallelujah)

My suggestions (ignore if you want but they genuinely did work for me)

-Make sure that you are wearing closed shirts and things that he can not get under. (My dd was a terror for getting under my jumpers and things)

-Use ALL the distraction techniques you have and know. If he asks for booby, read him a book or give him a little snack or go out in the garden. I'm not joking when I say that you need to treat your baby like a cat. I absolutely did.

-Be disciplined. No means no. It's tough titty but you need to sleep.

Remember you are doing this for both of you!

And as someone who also went through terrible pnd twice. You absolutely NEED to sleep. You need your body to be healthy. Changing his booby routine is a priority.

I'm always online so I'm always here. I hope Ive helped.