Feeling like a nap failure 😔

(5 Posts)
Sairie Sat 21-Nov-20 11:30:43

My nearly seven month old baby won’t nap in his cot at all during the day. He used to be a nightmare napping until he was seven weeks, then something clicked and he would nap in his bed for an hour or two, but since the four month sleep regression he’s recovered his ability to sleep in his cot at night but not in the day. As soon as I get his sleep cues we go upstairs for a relax, often his bottle is due so we’ll do that and I’ll try to put him down. The minute he’s going into his cot he starts crying and crying. I’ve tried leaving him for 5mins to see if he’ll calm down, but he doesn’t and instead gets so irate he’s coughing and spluttering. With rocking he will often just try to push me away and scream in my face. Generally I think he’s only eventually napping as he’s exhausted, which means he’s overtired and only sleeps for 20-30mins. It makes all the effort feel not worth it! And then he’s grumpy and miserable.
Frustratingly if he does fall asleep in my arms or I snuggle him in bed, he’ll be able to sleep for an hour or more.
I just feel like such a failure and so stressed out. The 2-3 times a day my baby needs to nap I absolutely dread. It’s so hard that even though I’d loved the thought of two children I can’t imagine going through this again as it’s making me feel so miserable. Obviously Covid doesn’t help as no one can come round to help and our families aren’t local anyway.
Sorry for the long one, I just needed to let it out I think as I feel like I’m being a bad mum firstly for not being able to get my baby to nap and secondly for dreading the daily battles.

OP’s posts: |
MonkeyBeard Sat 21-Nov-20 18:04:55

You are most definitely not a failure.

Is there a reason you need him to nap in the cot? Or are you happy to snuggle but feel you ought to have him in a cot?

Some babies like different things. If you and your son are happy cuddling up for naps, cuddle. If not then could you try rocking in a pram or bouncy chair?

Cheesewine Sat 21-Nov-20 18:12:36

Following for advice. I could have posted this. I'm happy to let mine sleep in my arms but I'm going back to work full time soon and don't want her to be upset and unable to nap with her dad or childminder. Your not a failure at all though.

larrythelizard Sat 21-Nov-20 18:30:00

Like a pp says, it's only a problem then not napping in their cot if it's a problem for you.

What sort of awake time windows are you working to?

LO might be tired before you see their cues - DS is a good sleeper (now - he wasn't!) but even now if I put him to bed too late he will scream and scream.

I think at that age DS was something like up at 7, nap at 9/9.30 for 30/45 mins, then nap at 12.30 for 1.5/2ish hours then just a power nap of 10/20 mins at 4.30ish.

MonkeyBeard Sat 21-Nov-20 20:53:51

Wake windows were a godsend for us, @larrythelizard makes a good point about them! I would heartily recommend giving the Huckleberry app a try to help with them. DS never seemed tired but would miraculously sleep when Huckleberry suggested.

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