What is sleep training and how do I do it?

(10 Posts)
LongJohnGlitter Tue 17-Nov-20 15:01:06

My DS is 3months, happiest baby in the world but does not sleep very well at night and only naps for 30 mins on his own- well, I took him to an osteopath and she does seem to have helped him. He may wake after 30 mins but with a cuddle from me he can get to sleep for another 30 mins to an hour.

Night is another story, he becomes very restless. I thought it was wind, teething but he has no problem sleeping when cuddled up, either on his back or upright. My dad said he knows what he wants : )

Problem is that I am on my own and desperately sleep deprived, getting only 3-4 hours a night. If anyone can advise re sleep training that wd be great. I love cuddling up with my son and wd have no prob when he's a bit older and out of sids risk age...

Also feel a bit upset that I struggle with sleep deprivation and have to go to my parents a few nights a week. A couple of other mum's I've spoken to implied I should just struggle on and everyone has to put up with it. I am the only driver, carer etc so feel I need a bit of help, esp after 4/5 nights of 3 hours sleep.

Thanks in advance for any advice x

OP’s posts: |
3WildOnes Tue 17-Nov-20 18:45:52

What time does he generally go to bed? How often does he wake? Do he wake to feed or just for a cuddle? Breast fed or bottle fed? Does he have a dummy? What time does he wake up in the morning?
He is a bit young to sleep train.but you can start to work on encouraging independent settling.

olderthanyouthink Tue 17-Nov-20 18:53:56

https://thebeyondsleeptrainingproject.com/artricles-to-read-when/you-are-on-the-verge-of-desperation-and-considering-sleep-training

Co sleeping works really well for me and DD, she starts to wake I put a boob in and she's asleep again, at some point I stopped waking and it just happens automatically now

MilyMoo Tue 17-Nov-20 18:59:37

It's not recommended for babies under 6 mths. After that, questionable at best - cry it out etc is borderline abusive, but there are gentler methods too.

LongJohnGlitter Tue 17-Nov-20 20:20:14

Oh wow...we are in bed now, 8pm and he's in a cosleeper. He had his bath, bottle as formula fed. He has a dummy and wakes to feed, for cuddles, for winding....windy baby even tho I spend ages winding him. Mostly he wakes for cuddles and still wants to sleep on me. We are normally up between 5 and 7. It depends on when his bottles are due. I guess I'm just exhausted but not sure I cd let him cry it out. He's my everything and I'm his everything...I couldn't listen to him crying and not soothe him. I suspect that rules me out for sleep training ☺️ if you have any other ideas let me know. Or tell me it's not weakness or giving in to go to my mum's house... Just sometimes I feel like a crap mum and not strong enough

OP’s posts: |
LongJohnGlitter Tue 17-Nov-20 20:21:44

Also, he's teething and he wakes frantic if the dummy falls out, then it's an endless round of putting it in and him spitting it out again. That one is going to send me to the funny farm...

OP’s posts: |
chocolateorage Tue 17-Nov-20 20:26:08

Absolutely nothing wrong with having some support from your parents!!

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Lady1576 Tue 17-Nov-20 20:34:50

Totally normal / fine to have support from your parents. A blessing to them too and extra love for your DS. Anyone suggesting otherwise is just jealous or doesn’t understand cos it wouldn’t work for them. 3 months was a tricky time sleep wise for my little one. If you can co-sleep safely, I’d go with that! Will he happily snuggle up to you and sleep or does he need to lie on you? If you are not a smoker, if he is not prem and you have a good sturdy mattress with minimal sheets pillows, it’s safe enough for him to lie on the same bed as you.

MsFrog Tue 17-Nov-20 20:37:16

Nothing wrong at all with getting support wherever you can. It would be madness not to - why make things harder for yourself?! The saying goes "it takes a village to raise a child" because it's really bloody hard - and women used to have a lot more support from mothers, grandmothers, sisters, friends etc. Our society is all different now. In other countries I imagine people still share childcare more across families/communities.

Don't let people make you feel bad just because they have some weird notion about "toughing it out". That's pointless. Just do whatever you need to.

Lelophants Tue 17-Nov-20 20:39:09

You are doing amazingly- be kind to yourself, read up on some techniques if you like but they don't work for everyone and can cause more stress (in my opinion). Nothing wrong with just snuggling next to them.

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