I'm at a loss! Please help.

(8 Posts)
S082018 Thu 12-Nov-20 21:34:55

Hi all

So just the other week I posted a thread about moving my little one to his cot after months of co-sleeping. He is 9 months old. For about a week, he was doing brilliantly at settling himself to sleep. He was still waking in the night, sitting and then standing, but would settle back down with some assistance from me. Well fast forward a week and things have become the worst they have ever been.
Let me explain what a typical night now looks like:

Will settle to sleep at bedtime peacefully and soundly. No tears, no fuss. In his cot like a dream.
40 minutes later... hysterical screaming.
Won't settle by being patted or having his back rubbed. I will pick him up and he will stop crying like a switch.
Back in the cot drowsy, will hysterically cry until picked up again.
This week, his Dad is helping a bit more with the bedtimes as they have been so horrendous. When Dad picks him up, he will cry and protest until I get involved and take him.
Eventually, after battling with us both, he will begin to fall asleep in my arms again but this can take anywhere up to 1 hour or more.
The last few nights he has eventually gone to bed at 11.30pm, 10.30pm and just now he has drifted off in my arms again and I'm trying to find the right time to transition.him back in the cot.
Once he's back down, he will still wake frequently and will only be settled by picking up.

I'm really at a loss and can't keep this up as I go back to work on Monday.
I also don't want to keep picking him up out of his cot but it's the only way he will stop screaming.

What is happening all of a sudden? Why have we hit such a HUGE brick wall? Is it sleep regression? Separation anxiety?

I really don't want to go down the cry it out route and will avoid wherever possible. Please someone help me 😔
He even did this for his naps today and I ended up crying my eyes out with him. I'm really finding it hard and hoping it's just a phase.

OP’s posts: |
S082018 Fri 13-Nov-20 09:04:55

We had a night from hell last night so I could really do with some advice 😔

OP’s posts: |
laudemio Fri 13-Nov-20 10:00:32

We had this at 9 months too op, started to improve again at 11 months and sleep better than ever since then. First year is tough!

Anna783426 Fri 13-Nov-20 22:40:43

Not much help but we had the same at that age. When it was super bad like you're describing I co-slept just to get through. At the time she was teething really badly too. It improved but it did take weeks not nights. Alternating who did breakfast helped as I at least got a lie in some days!

S082018 Sat 14-Nov-20 07:20:23

@Anna783426 I'm worried about co-sleeping again as he hasn't been in the cot for long so I'm just concerned I'll be giving him mixed messages and it'll be hard to get him back in the cot eventually.

Last night I did bring him in the bed after the 5th wake up by 11pm but he was still up every 1-1.5hrs.

I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with this and I'm really struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

OP’s posts: |
MerlotChiantiMontepulicano Sat 14-Nov-20 07:56:15

Is he teething and in pain?

Is he overtired? What's his day time naps like?

My DS woke up after 40 mins for months about this age, ok to settle again and was no indication on the rest of the night.

Sillybilly5 Sat 14-Nov-20 08:04:52


We had this at 9 months too op, started to improve again at 11 months and sleep better than ever since then. First year is tough!

Yep same here my sons sleep got better around 11 months old too. Nothing I did helped he just stopped doing it and started to sleep well suddenly. So tough!


S082018 Sat 14-Nov-20 10:35:43

@MerlotChiantiMontepulicano naps can vary each day. Typically he has around 2-2.5hours across two naps in total. I've tried adjusting his naps, capping them so that he's not having too much daytime sleep and even lengthening them so that he's not overtired. I just can't figure this out.

I can't even imagine waiting until he's 11 months for things to get better, not with the way I'm feeling right now. I'm drained, exhausted and so emotional. My husband and I haven't slept in the same bed for 9 months and we get no time together. I have no time to wind down in an evening and it's all getting a bit much. I'm going back to work on monday and I'm really anxious about how I am going to manage on such little sleep.

Having said this, it's reassuring to hear that others have experienced similar and I'm not the only one to go through this.

OP’s posts: |

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