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standing up in cot

(12 Posts)
manna Mon 23-Sep-02 21:40:18

my 10 mnth old ds, a good sleeper, has started to stand up in his cot and cry when I put him down for his daytime naps, and also half way through his long lunchtime one (coming into light sleep cycle). He's tired, I know, but unless I really get him off in my arms he wont settle, he just has to grab the bars of the cot and hoik himslef over and up! I have a feeling this is common - Anyone know what to do? He was ill last week, so may be a bit clingy. I'm loath to try controlled crying as I've never had any problems before, yet holding him for ages before putting him down iss NOT the answer, I know and just setting up bad habits. TELL me it's just a phase, and a short one at that, please!

Ellaroo Mon 23-Sep-02 22:21:08

Have you tried putting ds in a sleeping bag for his naps? The winter weight ones are so bulky it may inhibit his standing ability and also make him feel more secure and snuggly in his cot.

muffles Tue 24-Sep-02 09:29:08

Manna,does he do this at night or is it just in his daytime naps? My 9 month old has started to do this but only during the daytime naps. These are getting shorter by the way so maybe your ds doen't need as much sleep.Iv'e tried leaving the room when she stands up and seeing if she settles but she just stands there either crying or banging the wall! I have decided,to save myself stress to hold her in my arms until she goes off to sleep which she does (this takes anything between 5 and 15 mins).
This hasn't affected her at night and she still sleeps 12 hours without waking. Maybe this is a modification that you will just have to make for the daytime naps and as long as it doesn't interfere with his sleep association during the night then it will be ok.I can't think of how you can stop a child standing up in their cot as once they have found their legs then there's no return! Maybe it is just a phase and the novelty will go?! Good luck.

florenceuk Tue 24-Sep-02 09:35:19

Can't say the sleeping bag has stopped my DS from standing! Mine's a 2.0 tog, maybe I need a heavier one??? If he is standing, I lay him back down and tell him to go to sleep. Then I give him a song and a big kiss, and if he is really tired then he will go to sleep. Sometimes this works, sometimes I have to get him up and wait till the next nap time. However, I know he can get back down, so CC is an option!

Ellaroo Tue 24-Sep-02 11:00:09

florenceuk, my dd is a year old and can't stand up yet so I wouldn't know. I made the suggestion because my mum (who made her own bags for us before they were invented commercially!) said that it always stopped me standing up. However, considering I am so lazy now, this is not really surprising - perhaps it was just a sign of things to come! I think the motivation to stand has to be there...

Lorien Tue 24-Sep-02 13:26:20

Hi Manna, I would definitely try a sleeping bag. My ds was standing in his cot and the addition of a sleeping bag helped significantly -- basically once he realised he couldn't do any more than stand (as the sleeping bag means he can't get his legs wide enough apart to even attempt an escape) he stopped making it a daily habit. Of course, the fact that I knew he couldn't go any further and get out of his cot helped a lot as I didn't rush into his room when he got up and started yelling. I have grobag sleeping bags (www.grobag.com) and have found them very good.
Best, Lorien

Tillysmummy Tue 24-Sep-02 14:05:07

Hi Manna

I had exactly the same problem with dd at around 9 and 10 months. It does get better ! She has always had a sleeping bag but I have to agree with Florenceuk it hasn't stopped my dd standing up. She did it for quite a while during the daytime naps and also when being put down to sleep at night but now has stopped entirely at night (because she's so tired when she goes to bed !). She still does it during the day and I either leave her to get on with it while listening outside (she's normally down and asleep in 10 minutes) or I go in and persist in putting her back down (sometimes as many as 40 times !) - this normally works. I must admit I only do controlled crying for a short period because my dd doesn't respond and just gets into a right old state - if I go in I can normally settle her better. However I do leave her for up to 20 minutes to try and settle herself and normally this works, I just do stuff in my bedroom next door so I can still hear her.

I am sure it will get better, it's only a phase. I think that they do it because they are so proud / excited to be able to do it so it's a novely - it will soon wear off. Good luck

manna Tue 24-Sep-02 14:21:12

oh yes - he can stand in a sleeping bag - in fact he's probably so strong he could do the sack race

muffles - this is how it started with me and now he's waking at night too, having always done 12hrs. Last night - 4.30 (classic), wouldn't sleep without a cuddle. I think that the daytime cuddles have let him regress at nighttime too, and now he's not wanting to get himself back off on his own again. He doesn't stand at night - he's too tired, but may sit up in the corner all sort of scrunched (ahh!), or just wail. Bloody hell - I feel like I'm back at square one - he's always been so good at sleeping, too.

Tillysmummy - it's like his fingers have glue on them to attract him to the bars


Right - thanks for your help everyone, here's my pro active, not depressed at all plan:

Change rooms for daytime naps to minimise noise.
Get cot bumpers for cot to stop little fingers pulling up.
Put down repeatedly, but NO picking up.
Cry quietly in corner. Me, that is.....

Actually - I've been thinking he could do with dropping his morning nap, maybe. He has 1/2hr going down sometime between 9 and 9.30, and then 2hrs (ha, ha!)going down between 12.30 and 1pm.
He's a dyed in the wool Gina baby, so any ideas about dropping the morning nap? How can he last until 12.30? Wont he be too tired to eat his lunch?

Tillysmummy Tue 24-Sep-02 15:00:29

Hi Manna

I have been trying to get my dd to do one long nap during lunch and a short one in the morning but unforunately it doesn't seem to work for her. She is 12 months and still seems to want two short naps. She's never had one long nap consistently, just sometimes she'll go for an 1 1/2 or 2 hours but mainly only 1 hour so therefore has one in the early morning and one after lunch.

But to answer your question re how you can keep him awake and overcome the too tired to eat thing I have found with dd too when I've tried the one nap that she is too tired to eat too so it's not good. What you could try is giving him a snack mid morning of fruit - 11am - like a banana and an apple and then put him down a little earlier, say 11.30 till 1.30 and then give him lunch when he wakes. I don't know this may not be a good answer I know that my dd isn't good if she's too tired with food but what I have done to overcome the tiredness thing is go out and about and do my normal things early morning so she just naps for say 20 minutes at 9am then try and put her down at 12.30. It's a vicious circle though because she often isn't tired enough even if she has only had the brief sleep at 9 and so it turns into a nightmare when I try and put her down but if she hasn't had a sleep she's too tired too. Hence I gave up and went back to her two sleeps.

Sorry if this is muddled and doesn't make sense !

Elf Tue 24-Sep-02 21:04:47

Lovely to know that my dd (12 months) is normal! All this is v familiar, except as yet she can only sit up and wail, not stand. I too have started getting her off to sleep by cuddling. As yet it is not interfering with her 12 hours straight at night so I have decided to (try) not to stress about it and enjoy the snuggliness of it as it doesn't take her long to get off to sleep usually and then pop her into her cot. It's not ideal but if it's what she needs for the moment I'm going to try to continue to give it to her. If she was waking in the night though I think I would do as Tillysmummy suggested and do the persistent laying her down again even 40 times, I think that is the kindest thing to do. Good luck Manna.

florenceuk Tue 24-Sep-02 21:38:09

Definitely try and nip it in the bud before he can talk - my niece apparently stands up and wails "Mummy, Mummy" and then "Daddy, Daddy" until somebody comes in to lie her down...good luck!!!

I thought they still needed two sleeps until they were over 12mths? DS is the same age (10mths), and sleeps around 1hr in the morning and 1-2hrs in the pm, unless he is with his nanny in which case he sleeps max one hour at each time.

manna Wed 25-Sep-02 21:20:11

I feel really depressed at the thought of it happening again tonight. I know I have to try and leave him to cry, but can't face it. I thought I'd leave it for a full week of distrubance to make sure it isn't just a phase. The problem is, I've been spoilt by his previous fantastic sleeping habits......Oh, well. 'Welcome to the world of children' as my mum so helpfully said tonight. Fingers crossed...

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