Baby sleeps terribly at night and day

[Sara020619]

Hello. I just wanted to ask for an advice with my baby, who is 5 month old now. She is really a terrible sleeper. She won’t nap for longer than 40 mins (1 sleep cycle) and whatever I do doesn’t seem to help. And then nighttime is another big problem. She keeps waking up quiet often at night. I started coosleeping as otherwise I would have to spend most of night by her crib. I tried nearly everything (no Control crying). She has got cmpa and reflux too. I elevated her bed which doesn’t seem to make her sleep longer. I am so exhausted. I haven’t slept for 5 months, my partner doesn’t help much too. What am I doing wrong? He gets full night sleep every night plus he needs his nap after work 🤦🏻‍♀️. Nearly everything at home is my resposibility which doesn’t help too. Then he brings his child every other week and that ends up my responsibility too (she is 16 and play comp games all day long). When I say something I am always the worst one. Last time when we had a bad argument about all, first thing he did was called to his ex telling her all abot our problems we have. It made me so sad and disappointed. I am starting to feel very resentful and sad. I don’t regret having my baby but Im starting to regret having it with him. I feel I deserve some help after taking care of our baby all day and night long and for his child too.

[FTEngineerM]

Congratulations on your little one, I know it’s tough I also have a (nearly) 5 month old.

It sound like the sleep regression? Can you ask DP to take the baby for a few hours? Is DC BF or FF? If BF could you express a bottle and let him take over whilst you nap?

[May2920]

I have literally just sat in bed with my baby and pretty much just written the exact same thread.. I’ve literally just joined and I’m not sure if that was the right thing to do or if I should have searched for a similar thread first. Anyway.. I feel you. It’s so so difficult isn’t it? My partner always likes to state that “he works all day” and yeah fine, he does. I appreciate that, but on the other what do men think we do all day? I’d be less tired if I was actually at work so a little help would be nice. I can’t tell you the last time my partner made a bottle of formula up or changed her nappy. He’s never once attended to her in the night.. it’s always me and I’m literally shattered. My daughter sleeps absolutely terrible. She won’t really sleep unless being held and the no sleep thing is really really taking it’s toll now. My partner also has kids from a previous relationship and he’s so hands on when they're with us on weekends. I get a new baby and more grown up child must be fairly different but even still.. I kinda feel like they’re more important than his daughter. The whole thing is just making me resentful and I feel so so yucky for it.

[Sara020619]

May2920 it is so annoying. That’s what my partner says..that he goes to work and is tired..I know he does and I appreciate it, but I haven’t slept for nearly 6 months now, whole house is my responsibility plus his child when comes over. And to be honest sometimes I feel my partner is biggest child at home. I feel if I was single mother I would cope much better. At least I wouldn’t have to clean after 4 ppl but only 2. Even if he does something at home I need to do finish it so its done properly. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Im not sure how long more I can go on like this.

[FATEdestiny]

Regarding your sleep issues:

40 minute daytime naps are normal so don't worry about it. But make the naps frequent to avoid over tiredness.

As a general approximation the time between waking from one nap and going to sleep in the next wants to be double nap length, plus or minus 15 mins. So 40 min nap means 1h20 awake time, give or take.

This awake time includes settling time so if it takes 20 mins to get baby to sleep, start after 1h awake time. Also include a feed and nappy check in every awake time.

Do daytime naps in something that moves. A bouncy chair is ideal, or pushchair (pushed back and forth on the spot).

Ensure you wind well after every feed and before every sleep.

Use a dummy.

Dummies are recommended for babies with reflux.