My 10 month old will not sleep through the night

[L0205]

Hi all!
So my baby girl has just turned 10 months old and has never slept through the night. The maximum she will sleep is 4-5 hours straight on a very good night which will rarely happen. She has a routine and goes to bed between 8-9 every evening and nearly every night she wakes up at around 12ish for a feed. She drinks her formula and falls asleep whilst drinking it. On a good night she will sleep until 4-5 am, then she will start turning and scratching her eyes like she's trying to wake up. I pick her up before she wakes up and give her water as she's on the heavy side so I try to avoid giving her formula between 12 and 6am. Most times she falls asleep whilst drinking the water and other times she will start crying uncontrollably until I give her milk. Then she will fall back asleep until 7-8am.
On a bad night, she wakes up at around 12 for her last bottle, then she goes back to sleep and will wake up again at 3, 4, 6 and then finally fully wake up at 9am. I am exhausted!!!! Most nights are bad nights and she probably has a good night twice a month. She does sleep better when we cosleep which rarely happens as I don't want her getting used to sleeping on our bed, but I am really considering cosleeping if she doesn't sleep through by the time she turns 1 in a couple of months, as I have to go back to work and I don't know if I'll be able to cope. I've tried to let her cry it out but she literally doesn't stop and I always give in after a few mins as I feel bad and also I don't want to wake up the neighbours. I have tried EVERYTHING I've read online i.e mixing cereal in her last bottle of the night to fill her up, ensuring she doesn't nap more than twice during the day, given her colic medicine with her last feed in case that's what's waking her up. I really don't know what else to do!
I do feel like it's gotten worse since she was 5 months as she only used to wake up once during the night ever since she was born. As soon as she turned 5 she started 'waking up' more often.
Is anyone else going through the same or have an idea why this is happening?

[eurochick]

It's hard on you but perfectly normal. Mine didn't sleep through once until she was 19 months. I'd been back at work full time for over a year and was on my knees. 19 months is far from the latest I have heard.

[sleeplessinsouthengland]

I'm sorry but it's normal. My second son is 2.5yrs and is still up at least once in the night.

It's us that have to adjust.

[JillGoodacre]

I had a newborn and a 2.7 year old who didn't nap and didn't sleep through. It's completely normal. Looking back I don't know how we coped with it but we did. Until about 6 months ago my youngest was occasionally still waking up during the night and coming in our bed - he's 8. They're both sleeping through now thankfully. They both were just bad sleepers. I gave up trying to fight it when youngest was about 2.

[jessstan1]

Your daughter is still very small and it's quite normal for babies of her age to wake up during the night, for comfort as much as food. I used to just put mine in bed with us and then we all slept cosily.

[Dmtush]

Alas it’s normal, none of mine slept through until nearly 4. My youngest at 3 has been up 3 times tonight.

It’s shit, I know. Some babies are just not sleepers.

[heyhoo]

My DD is 11 months and only this week have I managed to get her down to one bottle. I have just accepted she will sleep when she sleeps, I was wasting far to much time being stressed about it and comparing her! Good luck!

[Homersthreehairs]

Neither will my just four year old 😭

We’re down to bed hopping once a night now. It’s an improvement

Wake to sleep did partially work at this stage have you tried that?

[Beautyoftheirdreams]

Like the others said, I'm sorry to say it's quite normal. My eldest slept through at 4 months and is a wonderful sleeper, I can count on one hand the number of times she has got up in the night (and she's 10 years now!)

My youngest was up every 1-2 hours for 16 months that was a shock to the system! He's 3 now and still wakes up 1-2 nights a week at least once. We tried everything but it's just how he is I'm afraid

[Duckchick]

Mine all had very disrupted sleep between about 6 and about 15 months. It seemed to be linked to the huge developmental changes they are going through (crawling, walking etc) and also teething. Is teething contributing in your case? It's easy to check, as if it is Calpol / nurofen will help reduce the number of wake ups. We found if if is teething, you get a very quick improvement in sleep with painkillers.

[diddlediddle]

I think most sleep consultants would say that your baby is probably getting too much sleep during the day (I'm guessing based on her bedtime) - how long are her naps? and needs to have an earlier bedtime. Most of the advice is that it is counter intuitive but going to bed earlier helps babies get into a more healthy pattern of night sleep / circadian rhythm.

Secondly, she is falling asleep feeding at midnight so probably associates feeding with waking up and getting back to sleep. Babies of this age especially formula fed babies probably don't need the feed at 12. She is waking up at 12 for food because she's used to it (we all would wake at a certain time if we got into the habit of it). If you want her to stop waking then, I would suggest stopping feeding her. The only way to stop babies of this age waking for food is to not give it to them. It's confusing for her why she gets milk sometimes when she wakes up and not others. I would just stop giving her milk in the bedroom at all. She will cry, but it should only last 1-2 nights as long as you don't give in! You can cuddle her and do whatever to soothe her. Remember that you're trying to teach her how to sleep, which is important for both of you.

[Twizbe]

It's ok and normal for babies to wake in the night.

That said, at 10 month you can do some sleep training. To do this though you need to say 'sod the neighbours' for a few nights and stick with it. If you give in then it won't work.

I'd bring bedtime forward to 7pm as that will help you with getting up for nursery / childcare.

Then when she wakes at night go in and reassure her, say night night but don't pick her up and you can drop the night feed if you want.

Leave the room, even if she is crying. Wait 2 mins and go back in. Reassure and say night night but don't pick up. Leave the room.

Wait 4 min and then go in and repeat. Wait 6 min, the 8 min then 10min. After the 10
Min one wait 10 mins every interval.

On the first night it will take a while (maybe up to an hour or so) but with each wake up and each night it will get better. You have to stick with it though.

[User24689]

I would echo that it is normal. Some babies sleep through in the first year, many don't. My daughter was sleeping through by 10 months, my son we have just recently got sleeping through at 3.

I wouldn't night wean before 1. Many do, but some babies do need the calories.

Sleep often gets worse 8-10 months as there is a huge amount of physical development going on. It is commonly the age they get up on their feet, cruising around so a new vantage point, a lot to take in, a lot of things in the body strengthening and changing. It is also one of the worst periods for separation anxiety so I think sleep Training at this point will be hard.

What you can do is tweak nap times and bed time and see if you can redistribute the amount of sleep she is having. She will have a total amount of sleep she needs in 24 hours. It is different for each child but is probably about 15 hours on average. If she is having too much day sleep she will not have enough sleep left to get her through the night. My son was a great example of this as he has been under the average sleep requirements his whole life so we only saw improvements in sleep when we cut day sleeps down and he had none before he was 2. He sleeps 11 solid hours at night now which is great but many of his friends are doing 12 plus a 2 hour nap! There is no magic solution unfortunately, they are just individuals.

[3WildOnes]

Does she fall asleep independently at the beginning of the night? If not then I would work on this first. I use a gradual retreat/fading method with the families I work with so you never have to leave baby crying alone. Once baby is settling independently then I would gradually reduce how much milk you are offering each night until there is only an ounce at each feed. The I would cut out night feeds completely. For night times I use the camping out method where you sit/lie by the cot offering comfort but not lifting baby out. Baby will cry but you are there to help here through. After a few days baby will usually stop waking.

[Thespottytortoise]

To echo everyone else, it's totally normal. I'm sorry that society has sold you a myth about when babies really start sleeping (for a lot of people anyway).

It's half 2 and I haven't made it to sleep yet with my 18mo. I also have work tomorrow. It sucks but it's pretty normal sleep for a 10m to wake up. I'd consider you pretty lucky if they didn't. My 3 year old sleeps through about 50-50 still...

[grassisjeweled]

DS slept through at 5 months. DD 14 months. Very tough.

[L0205]

@Homersthreehairs

Neither will my just four year old 😭

We’re down to bed hopping once a night now. It’s an improvement

Wake to sleep did partially work at this stage have you tried that?

No I haven't, what is it? I'm exhausted lol

[TheMagicDeckchair]

Sorry to say that DD didn’t sleep through until after she turned two. At 9/10 months we started co-sleeping and that made things much better.

She’s nearly 3 now and still co-sleeps with one of us. I tried sleep training but she became incredibly distressed and it went against all my natural instincts. I survived by co-sleeping and going to bed when she did.

[Shiningstar84]

Sorry to say, my DD is 18 months and still waking for milk in the night. Its weird how used to sleep deprivation I've become!! I know it won't last but I've been where you are.
Before 15 months she would wake 3 or 4 times a night for milk. I tried everything and she still wanted it, I just had to keep rolling with it!

[L0205]

Thank you all for your responses! I genuinely thought babies should be able to sleep through the night after 6 months. I'm wayyyy more relieved now, thought I was doing something wrong 😰. She's been giving me 'good' nights lately, waking up only once, not sure how long it'll last but I'm making the most of it! 🥰

[2306IRW]

I wouldn't worry, my daughter is almost 6 and a half (years) and still doesn't sleep through the night 😩. I would try some sleep training with your little one before they are too old to fight back lol xx
In all seriousness though I just wanted to say I know how hard sleep deprivation is but hang in there xx

[Mummyofmay2020]

Similar situation here :( I've tried camping out method, shushing and refusing to pick up. She gets hysterical and won't stop until i give in and give the feed. I wouldn't mind one feed a night but sometimes it's up to 3 and at nearly 11 months, I've read she doesn't actually need it. Feel bit stuck too. A lot comments here seem to suggest this is all natural though

[MrsP1991]

Mine rarely sleeps through now (3)!

Didn't get long periods of sleep like yours til she was about 18-20 months so yours is doing very well.