How do you ‘get’ baby to sleep?

(14 Posts)
Caspianberg Mon 02-Nov-20 19:57:31

I just don’t get how.

Most nights I feed baby, he falls asleep on boob and I transfer into cot. Easy

But others he doesn’t fall asleep, then what? He’s fed last thing before bed, I pop him into cot, and then he spends ages just rolling around cot, laughing, kicking cot bars, getting feet in sleeping bag wedged between bars etc. He rarely cries at this point, so there’s no need to calm him down, but he just won’t sleep.

He’s 6 months. He napped today 6.30am-8.30am, in pram ( after waking 5am and cot playing about again), then 11-12.30pm in pram. Then 20 mins in car around 4pm.

I put him in cot at 8.30pm tonight, is nearly 9pm now and he doesn’t seem sleepy at all.

Last night he clowned around 8.30-11pm, woke every hr until 5am, then was up for the day. He seems to have very little sleep compared to what he should for his age surely?

OP’s posts: |
FlyNow Mon 02-Nov-20 20:00:34

If he's happy in his cot leave him to it? If he wants to have a play before sleep that's OK.

TripleSeptic Mon 02-Nov-20 20:00:54

At that age, until about 20 months... I got into the cot and boobed to sleep then clambered out like a rusty ninja.

I favour the path of least resistance.

FlyNow Mon 02-Nov-20 20:01:49

However you are right that most babies his age sleep more than that.

goldenharvest Mon 02-Nov-20 20:03:34

Time to cut out the 4 pm nap i think.

Caspianberg Mon 02-Nov-20 20:15:40

@goldenharvest - I didn’t make him nap at 4pm, he fell asleep on drive home from doctors, not much I can do as I was driving

He has 0 daytime routine as his night sleep is so bad. Like last night he barely slept as woke every hr. so of course he was exhausted super early and I just let him sleep as I haven’t the energy to battle. Other days he’s awake 2am-3/4/5am overnight playing in cot again, so then sleeps until 7-8am and again I don’t wake as he’s barely slept.

He’s asleep now. 35 mins faffing, then he got upset. So I took him out, fed him again and he fell asleep.

He will probably be awake for another feed in an hr. then the next hour, and next until morning

OP’s posts: |
Caspianberg Mon 02-Nov-20 20:18:36

@TripleSeptic - I have considered climbing in his cot. I’m all for the easiest path.
He was in co sleeper crib, but he can roll and sit and pull himself up so it was getting dangerous.
He does co sleep from 5am or so if he’s not sleeping again and I can sometimes persuade him back to sleep with another feed in our bed. After a few hrs playing in his cot already

OP’s posts: |

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Wherethereshope Thu 05-Nov-20 02:30:21

Sounds tough.. I'm wondering if he has some day/ night confusion.

We used to follow 2-3-4 for naps.. I forget what age, but I think 6 months. So first nap is 2 hours after waking, 2nd nap 3 hours later, then 4 hours after that they go to bed.

You won't fix this overnight, but trying to bring his routine around would be a good place to start. Things like waking him from long naps may help too.. I know it seems wrong to wake but this will promote daytime is for play and night time for sleep. You need to be ready though to give it a go.

Lesserspottedmama Thu 05-Nov-20 02:56:05

I’ve had 4 kids and in the end I realised I got an excellent nights sleep if I just let the sleep in my bed as babies. We temporarily dismantled the bed for a couple of years and just had the King size mattress on the floor. Perfectly comfortable still and no worries about anyone falling out. It’s not for everyone but for me it’s the best thing I ever did, my second two children I never even bothered trying to put them down in a cot.. didn’t even own one by that point. And my goodness they’ve all sleep amazingly, and therefore me too. Babies have been sleeping with their mothers for millennia up until the last 100/200 years when it became popular in wealthy Victorian families to show their wealth by having a nursery. So in most cases, it’s always going to be uphill work training a baby to sleep alone as you are fighting against survival instincts that are powerfully wired in.

Sciencebabe Thu 05-Nov-20 03:35:00

BABIES DO NOT HAVE ROUTINES.

WE have routines WE want to impose on them. Mental and physical development happens 24/7 and that includes cognitive and muscle development (you ever get restless, twitchy legs at night?) The first two years of life is them figuring out how to follow or expectation of society around them (the family unit) - how to copy what others do. But they absolutely do not naturally go to sleep every night all night or eat at certain times or do anything at certain times. It's all done by individual need. Your baby is probably having a brain leap or physical growth spurt and needs more mental and physical stimulation now. Try exciting him when he won't sleep, make him laugh, wake up his senses, lift him in the air and go 'weeee!' etc. Unbelievably that sort burst of fun will tire him out faster 😉 x

Caspianberg Thu 05-Nov-20 06:00:30

@Wherethereshope - I have tried this 2-3-4 routine a bit, but it all falls to pot when he has a disastrous night so is exhausted in the day, yet sometimes his naps are super short. If he wakes 6.30am, I can get him to nap 8.30am fine, but this nap can be 10min-2hrs long. If it’s only 10-20 mins, then there’s no way I can then keep him awake 3hrs as he’s still shattered after 90mins-2hrs

I’m happy to co - sleep, but 99% of the time he will just play around in our bed for hours also, so it doesn’t seem to help.

I’m just so tired. I don’t think it’s a ‘leap’ as it’s been going on for 3 solid months now.

He’s now being tested for 12 potential severe allergies so they think he could just be uncomfortable at night as he might be reacting to those things in my breast milk still, but until tests finalised in a week or two I can’t exclude what it might be as there’s so many potentials. He has had anaphylactic reaction recently to dairy (formula), apples and bread. So now I feel bad as well about leaving him more than 30 seconds to cry incase he’s in pain. Plus I have to allow him to feed unlimited as he’s been completely taken off all solids for now as it’s too dangerous

But it all means his sleep hasn’t improved.

OP’s posts: |
Wherethereshope Fri 06-Nov-20 03:30:30

That's really tricky @caspianberg as it will all be tied up with these allergies. Is there an allergy place you can post about it? Or start a thread about poor sleep and allergy.. you'll hopefully get more responses as this isn't just poor sleep or sleep regression.

Caspianberg Fri 06-Nov-20 08:29:13

@Wherethereshope - thanks. Yes I know, I guess I’m just writing my thoughts out rather than expecting someone to help perform miracles with his sleep right now.
He has had blood tests taken yesterday, so another step closer.
I will head over to the ‘allergy’ section once I have more confirmation of what exactly

OP’s posts: |
RenataLander Fri 06-Nov-20 09:27:16

To be honest, I quickly have up. After several hours of trying to put my son to bed, I just put him to bed and waited a few minutes. He fell asleep. I don't get how it works. We have our night routine, like feeding and bath, and it helps too.

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