Pu/pd

[Miriam101]

Hi sleep gurus of Mumsnet, please help me!

Want to start helping our nearly four month old to sleep better as his night wakings seems driving me mad. (Every 40 mins)

When he turns 4 months next week we plan to try Pick Up Put Down, but even after reading the Baby Whisperer book I’m unclear on a few points. V grateful for any advice.

• when DS is in his crib and not crying, should I shush pat (TH says this good for this age range) or instead be talking to him (it’s sleepy time now darling etc etc with a hand on him)?
  

• for the night wakings, I am still going to need to feed him probably twice. Can I let him fall asleep on the breast at this point or do I need to unlatch him while awake and do PUPD?
  

• when I pick him up should I just stand still and hold up while shushing, or is it ok to walk around the room?
  

• last question! Should all this be done in a dark room or would it be ok to have lamp on low?
  

Sorry I know these questions are ridiculously pernickity but I’ve read enough to know it’s best to get this method right if you want it to work.

Thanks so much in advance.

[Miriam101]

Oh and! Should I start with naps or bedtime?

[kwaziseyepatch]

Hi Miriam, definitely not a sleep guru but a fellow mum trying to navigate the dark art of baby sleep!

I'm currently trying to get DS (5 months) to settle in his cot. I'm following a huckleberry sleep plan but using PU/PD to help settle him. I'm a complete wuss when it comes to crying but hoping we won't have to cuddle him to sleep for 2 years like his big sis. I feed first and have the light on 1/2 way - I have a Philips lumie which you can fade. Then cuddle him and sing songs and dim it down. Put him in his cot and normally he starts messing around. If he whines I just reassure if it's constant (I've read BW too- I think she calls it a mantra cry and it can be their way of settling down?) then PUPD if the cry builds. Varied results so far but I'm trying to stick at it. Huckleberry advises starting with the first sleep of the night and building from there so keep feeding back to sleep at the moment until their consistently falling asleep themselves. I've been doing it for about a week- 10 days and I've had to just give up and cuddle him a couple of times as he's got too worked up but he's fallen asleep with just a little shushing a couple of times. Let me know how you find it

[kwaziseyepatch]

Oh and on pick ups I try and stand still and he normally immediately stops but I did get him used to being cuddled to sleep for a few days first to break the feeding association. I'm not sure about walking around

[Miriam101]

@kwaziseyepatch thanks so much for your reply. Sounds like you’re doing well! And that’s really interesting re their advice to just start off with the beginning of the night/ a relief actually as I was hoping a slightly more gradual approach might be doable. I think with my daughter we cracked the bedtime first before attempting any night wakings. Can I ask how you’re managing to do this with your baby without disturbing your daughter? Ours are right next door to each other and I’m terrified that his cries are going to wake her up and the circle of screaming will begin! Anyway, keep going- sleep solidarity to you!

[kwaziseyepatch]

It's only at the start of the night so she seems quite tired and not disturbed at the moment, although when he's been noisy before I've found her with her pillow over her head!
I had to reset last night (light on a bit more and more songs) before trying again after 20 mins but he went straight down after and had a pretty good night sleep. Let me know how it goes