Tips for cosleeping with a toddler?

(12 Posts)
Mazzatron Thu 29-Oct-20 20:41:37

My 22 month old son has slept from 7pm - 5:30am for the last year (apart from a few rough patches) but over the last 2-3 weeks his sleep has completely unravelled and he’s fighting naps, fighting bedtime, waking in the night and starting the day at 4:30. All of this is accompanied with a lot of furious screaming.

I’ve tried many ways to help him sleep. We previously did sleep training which worked really well - it will not work this time around and yes I did persevere.
One night I spent 4.5 hours in his room trying to get him to lay back down in his cot and stop screaming - giving up at 4:30am. As soon as I put him in our bed he went to sleep.

At the moment we all just desperately need the sleep, so I’ve resigned myself to cosleeping. The trouble is I’m really bad at it. I’m so aware of his every movement, he’s a big boy and thrashes about, sometimes for 2 hours in the night.

Has anyone got any tips of experience to share that could make our cosleeping experience better please?

OP’s posts: |
FreeAcorns Thu 29-Oct-20 20:49:06

We bought a super king size bed! Toddlers are very good at taking up all available space. Other suggestions: can you put the cot in your room? Maybe just knowing you're there will be enough. Transition to a toddler bed (my first never slept in a cot - she co slept til 18mo then went straight to a toddler bed which she loved). Take the side off the cot and push against your bed? That way you are right there/ can cuddle but then put him in his own space to thrash. Put a double mattress on the floor of your son's room. Lay with him til he falls asleep, then roll away and go to your own bed.

icedaisy Thu 29-Oct-20 21:09:39

Good advice from @FreeAcorns

I would certainly want to be on floor, I had to stop when Dd started crawling because it was to dangerous when I was that tired.

Just one thing, you say fighting naps, would trying dropping the nap help? Dd is just two but I know friends kids have started to drop, she hasn't yet. But has had odd day where it didn't happen and has been better than I thought.

Other things that I didn't pick up on, teeth? Calpol at bed while back teeth cutting made a huge difference. Wasn't till I saw her gums and someone suggested trying it.

whoareyouIwonder Thu 29-Oct-20 21:12:43

Literally exactly as @FreeAcorns

We bought a super king size bed and DS also had a double mattress floor bed

OnlyFoolsnMothers Thu 29-Oct-20 21:14:14

Have you looked at his naps, sounds like you should drop / shrink those before co sleeping.

Thatwentbadly Thu 29-Oct-20 21:17:03

I cosleep with a toddler. At that age she moved into her own we used bed rails.

But I agree with a previous poster that is sounds like it’s time to drop naps.

Mazzatron Fri 30-Oct-20 06:12:34

Thanks everyone. Hmm I just can't imagine dropping naps at the moment because he gets up at 4:30 - 5 and he's so over tired.

I'll try anything though - how would you recommend dropping naps for a child that wakes up so early. Obviously I don't want him waking this early but it's just what he's doing. Last night he went to bed at 6:30 fell asleep about 8, up at 4:45. Yesterday he had a 2 hour nap at 11.

He just looks so tired all the time at the moment, with black circles around his eyes.

It does feel a bit crazy to start cosleeping now at this age when he's never needed it before.

We don't have a big house so no room for a double mattress on his floor I'm not even sure we'll fit a single one next to his cot tbh. We've got a king size bed luckily.

OP’s posts: |

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Itllbeaninterestingchristmas Fri 30-Oct-20 06:24:44

Can you make his cot into a cot bed and put it next to your bed? That’s what I’ve done and it works really well. If you’ve just got a normal cot with some basic wood working skills the mattress height can be altered and you put extra wood underneath to hold it together without the sides

Rainallnight Fri 30-Oct-20 06:42:23

We did this for a while with DS when he went through a period of just not settling. The big thing that helped me get sleep was a rail on his side of the bed. It meant I could be far away from him (ish!) in the night and not worry about him falling out.

We got DS back in the cot in the end. It was a phase.

Rainallnight Fri 30-Oct-20 06:43:20

Oh God, sorry, the other thing I’ve remembered is that DP and I ended up sleeping separately to make it work. Which isn’t great. But we’re through it now! grin

nevergoingoutagain Fri 30-Oct-20 07:02:30

The thing is you're stuck in this cycle of him not sleeping well which is why he's so tired. When dropping a nap sometimes things get worse and then better as they have to adjust. I would suggest trying it for a week, he might start falling asleep earlier so it probably won't help the early mornings!

I think co sleeping is best for sanity sometimes but if you don't get on with it (I never did) then try the mattress on his floor idea. Though if you're like me you'll prob end up falling asleep before him lol

OnlyFoolsnMothers Fri 30-Oct-20 07:07:32

Dropping naps for an early riser is to have a very calm day. Stay at home, colouring, cbeebies whatever is calmest. I’d do lunch at 11.30 and then to bed for an hr straight after.

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