Sleep training question

(11 Posts)
whatnotwhatnot Thu 29-Oct-20 16:17:38

I'm trying to get my baby to learn to fall asleep by himself in his "next to me" crib. I've been doing the "trust" method, I think it's called(?) of sleep training - definitely NOT controlled crying, but basically bedtime routine, bath book etc, then put him down and stay nearby. Whenever he cries I wait to check if it's just a grizzle, and when it's a full blown cry I pick him up and silently calm him before putting him back down. Repeat as necessary.

I've done this for 4 nights now, doing bedtime routine and bath at 6.30 and putting him down at 7pm. Each night he cries a lot and needs picking up and putting back down, and then finally falls asleep around 7.30 but wakes again at 8pm crying. He then falls asleep around 9pm and stays asleep until his middle of the night feed. This exact thing happens every night.

Does this indicate that I should move his bedtime to later do you think? Or not? Will this pattern change if I keep doing this method?

OP’s posts: |
whoareyouIwonder Thu 29-Oct-20 16:27:53

Honestly, some methods of sleep training just don't work. I have a 'non sleeper' and in the first year you can guarantee I tried everything. He's 2 now and I've just accepted he will sleep as and when he is ready.

I would say your method isn't working, so to either stop or switch it up to something different.

whatnotwhatnot Thu 29-Oct-20 16:31:18

Oh no, really? I understood it does take time to work?

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whoareyouIwonder Thu 29-Oct-20 17:35:48

It does, but I also believe some children just cannot be 'trained'

I wake up a few times naturally and I'm an adult.

How old is baby?

FATEdestiny Thu 29-Oct-20 17:40:16

I'd call this method Pick Up Put Down (PUPD). How old is baby?

Waking like this after being put down could be over tiredness rather than under tiredness. If very young (<6 months) possibly due to the need to cluster feed in the evening.

Feminist10101 Thu 29-Oct-20 17:43:00

whatnotwhatnot

Oh no, really? I understood it does take time to work?

It’s a baby, not a programmable robot.

whatnotwhatnot Thu 29-Oct-20 20:10:22

* It’s a baby, not a programmable robot.*

Er, thanks for that hmm

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whatnotwhatnot Thu 29-Oct-20 20:13:03

@FATEdestiny oh ok, could be over tiredness based on your post then? We are past cluster feeding.

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Sarahlouise86 Thu 29-Oct-20 21:01:49

I follow a similar method with my 14 week old. We have a bedtime routine and I make sure I stick to his awake windows (no longer than an hour an a half). If I keep him up any longer than this at night then he will get upset and won't go to sleep easily.

I'm still tinkering with bedtimes but at the moment it just depends on his last nap. So normally he wakes up from his final nap of the day around 6pm, then he has a bath, bottle, cuddle and bed. I put him down awake by 7.15pm at the latest (sometimes earlier if he shows signs of tiredness) and usually he will settle in 10-15 minutes. This is always in his snuzpod by our bed. I've definitely found if I keep him up any longer then he will cry and will need more reassurance to go to sleep although this is straightaway rather than waking up some time later as yours does. I do exactly the same as you and once I've put him down I stay nearby and listen out for any issues. If he cries then I will go to him straight away, soothe him for a few minutes and then try again. I've not had to go back more than twice so far but I know it's early days. I've been doing this since about 6 weeks for nighttime and I'm trying similar now for his daytime naps (a lot of these have been in the pram/sling/on me).

Personally for me perseverance and consistency has been key and making sure he is tired enough (usually from playing in the bath which he loves) but not overtired. I follow these awake windows during the day for his naps as well.

I don't even see this as sleep training, he's not left to cry it out, I'm simply making a good sleep environment for him and so far he seems happy with it. It sounds like you're doing a great job and you know what works best for you and your baby.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee Thu 29-Oct-20 21:06:04

The age of the baby is very important in sleep training. Sometimes it works at 6 months, some need to be a bit older.

How old is your baby?

ForTheLoveOfHalloween Thu 29-Oct-20 21:24:40

How old is your baby?

My LO started to go longer stretches at 8.5 months when I moved her into her own room. From then she woke 0-2 times a night, mostly.

Gradually woke up less frequently and has mostly slept through since 11 months.

I fed her to sleep till 13 months. If she woke when I put her down did pat and shhh till she was asleep. Unless she was really upset, then I'd feed again.

13 months stood/sat with her till she fell asleep. She's 15 months now. I put her in the cot. Wait with her for 2 mins. Leave. She'll roll around for a few minutes and then be asleep 12-13 hours. She self settled majority of the time. I can probably count on 1 hand how many times she's woken and needed me to settle her in the last 3 months.

I always had a rule that I never let her cut for more than 5 mins without comfort. And never repeatedly.

Sleep is developmental. My kids was the worst sleeper as a small baby, but she's brilliant now.

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