Tantrums from night waking

(14 Posts)
Mazzatron Sun 25-Oct-20 03:20:27

Can someone please tell me what to do.

My 22 month old son is suddenly waking at night and screaming for me. I have followed every shred of advice I've read about going in to comfort him but trying not to start bad habits.

I comfort him but as soon as he sees me his screaming intensifies and before long he's having the worst meltdown that lasts for up to 3 hours. I go in, I cuddle, I change his nappy if it needs it, offer a bottle, offer calpol, nothing works apart from bringing him into my bed which I've only done twice because I'm conscious of making the 'bad habit'. But those two nights were rock bottom. When I say it works - it stopped the screaming but it didn't really help him sleep one night he slept but woke every hour screaming mum, the other night he didn't even go to sleep.

The thing I'm trying to get across is it's not just crying and screaming it's absolute rage from him. Has anyone else experienced this? Is something wrong with him? This is all very new and I have no idea what to do to properly help him.

He is extremely strong willed. I know this post seems very negative and moaney. I love him to bits and just want to help him but I'm really losing my mind a bit with this one.

2 weeks ago he was in a routine of 7pm - 5:30 with a 1.5 hour nap. Now he's all over the place.

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Morechocmorechoc Sun 25-Oct-20 03:46:56

Sounds like nightmares then too scared to sleep but overtired. It will pass. I'd bring him straight to your bed if he's that bad. Habits can be broken

BefuddledPerson Sun 25-Oct-20 03:54:04

brew sounds tiring.

I am interested in this comment I have followed every shred of advice I've read about going in to comfort him but trying not to start bad habits

What does this mean? Are you less warm/friendly than in the day time - could that be upsetting him?

He's probably not especially strong willed, just a toddler!

I agree habits can be broken, just give him a massive cuddle.

Aquamarine1029 Sun 25-Oct-20 03:57:24

My first thought was night terrors, which are very common, but I've never heard of them lasting for so long. Poor little baby and how horrible for you, too! Have you spoken to his doctor?

blackcat86 Sun 25-Oct-20 04:04:02

Sounds like the 2 year sleep regression. Its a long one but does pass. If DD wakes I just pop her in bed with us. No fuss, no faffing about- she's tired, I'm tired so let's just all go to bed and get max sleep.

Somethingvague Sun 25-Oct-20 04:30:11

Is he overtired at bed time? My 2 year old has tantrums if we wake him from his nap and he's still tired.

mangoandraspberries Sun 25-Oct-20 04:55:22

We had some night waking from our now 2.5yo when he was around 2. He’d shout for us - generally we’d ignore him for a couple of mins in case he went straight back to sleep (sometimes he did), but mainly we’d go in, tell him it’s still night time sing a few songs and then leave him to go back to sleep. If he was still upset after that, one of us would sleep on his floor for the rest of the night. That kept him calm - I think it was some kinda of separation anxiety/sudden inability to get back to sleep. Have you tried sleeping on his floor? You can get a cheap mattress on amazon. We figured that would be an easier habit to break than bringing him into bed with us (and it was fairly easy, after a few weeks he slept through again).

I can’t help with the rage though - possibly he’s just so tired and upset to be awake that it becomes a tantrum? Ours was pretty hysterical when he woke, but more upset than angry, so I do think they are pretty dramatic at that age.

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Mazzatron Sun 25-Oct-20 05:28:55

@BefuddledPerson I wouldn't say I'm cold but all the advice I've read on so many different sites says not to get them out of the cot. So I go in and cuddle him in the cot and when he's calm tell him to lay down and then I leave the room and that enrages him so much he's straight back up.

I think reading through the comments I will just bring him into our bed and get on with it.

He is completely over tired as this has been going on for two weeks now.

I like the mattress on the floor idea too. Will talk to my husband about that.

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Mazzatron Sun 25-Oct-20 05:45:01

I was thinking of phoning the health visitor. I don't think it's night terrors but possibly nightmares waking him up.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts.

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mamma2016 Sun 25-Oct-20 06:30:18

My toddler did something similar, but not for as long. Screaming, shouting and thrashing lasted about 45 mins. We found she wasn't truly awake and in a kind of semi-consciousness. Any attempt to comfort caused more distress and not going into the room helped. For us, it seemed we caused more of a disturbance by effectively waking her. It wasn't a nice phase and these episodes would be at about 10pm, usually when she was very tired. We co-slept until nearly 3 and she now sleeps all night by herself.

polkadotpixie Sun 25-Oct-20 06:50:44

My 2 year old is exactly the same at the minute and it's killing me 😩

He always used to sleep 7:30-6:30 no trouble, I'd put him in his cot and leave the room and he'd go to sleep

Now it's a screaming fit every night to get him to go to bed and he's up several times in the night absolutely inconsolable

Nothing I've tried works, not even bringing him into our bed, he just thrashes around. He's only happy if I'm laying on his bedroom floor holding his hand which I've been doing but it's killing my back

We were going to start TTC #2 soon but I can't cope with this plus pregnancy so it's going to have to wait. I'm praying this is just a phase as we've had sleep regressions before but they've never lasted this long

Vix20678 Sun 25-Oct-20 07:10:31

My (now 6 year old) DD was like this. It was a phase and it passed eventually but nothing I did helped as such. I think it's just a phase. I was also concerned there was something wrong because the rage was like nothing I'd ever witnessed! She's calm and very well-adjusted now. Hang in there and do whatever you need to to get through the nights.

HighInTheHills Sun 25-Oct-20 07:30:09

We got this with Dd and now DS too at same age. Night terrors. Not properly awake and just screaming Snd tabtrumming. Only way to solve it for us was to take them downstairs for a bit to fully wake, offed a drink and cuddle for a bit. Then back up to bed and hold hand til fall asleep.
It's a developmental thing, crap but it passes. Good luck, it's a tough phase and I feel for you

Mazzatron Tue 27-Oct-20 00:39:36

@Vix20678 thanks for sharing it's a relief that someone else has experienced this kind of rage in the middle of the night.

It's so sad and I'm so tired from it. It starts around 11:30. The only thing that 'helps' is bringing him into our bed but it doesn't actually properly help because he is then awake for 2-3 hours before going back to sleep and then up at 4:30 for the day.

We are both working and I'm also 13 weeks pregnant. So exhausted, it's so hard.

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