If you’ve successfully sleep trained using the Feber method please help me!

(14 Posts)
Forevercurious Fri 16-Oct-20 07:55:32

I have just done three nights of the Feber method and DS is now settling himself to sleep within 5 minutes of being put into his cot!

However his night wakings are a completely different story and I would appreciate some advice from those who have come through the other side of this.

Night 1 - cried for 35 mins at bedtime then fell asleep. Dream feed around 10. He woke at 2am and settled again at 3am.

Night 2 - asleep within 5 minutes at bedtime, no crying. Dream feed around 10:15. He woke at 3am and at 5am I end up giving him a small feed as he just would not settle. He resettled to sleep by himself after the feed.

Night 3 - asleep within 5 minutes at bedtime, no crying. Woke at 3am and I ended up giving him a small feed at 5:15am as I felt broken. The first hour and a half he was really trying to go back to sleep by himself, he was laying down and more moaning and groaning with the occasional cry. After that he was standing up and really crying more but would stop when I entered on one of the intervals.

So I’m starting to think he may be genuinely hungry, although he didn’t have a feed overnight on the first night? The options I’ve come up with are:
A) try another night of not offering a feed until I’m at breaking point as I’ve read the first three nights are the worst.
B) offer a small feed when he wakes but do not feed him to sleep and allow him to self settle afterwards.
C) dream feed him around 2/2:30am and see if it stops him waking.
D) another option I haven’t thought of if anyone can suggest anything?

I’m becoming more worried that having him awake for 2/3 hours a night is going to make the problem worse as he’ll be overtired.

I am so exhausted and have been doing this alone as DP is away for work but he’s back tonight for a week so at least I’ll have some moral support then!

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Forevercurious Fri 16-Oct-20 07:57:45

Apologises for the lengthy post, wanted to include as much info as possible although I didn’t mention DS is 10 months and EBF.

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Dillybear Sat 17-Oct-20 10:01:53

Just bumping for you, @Forevercurious, as I have a similar situation on my hands here. Hope last night went a bit better?

olivesonapizza Sat 17-Oct-20 10:47:34

How much sleep does he get in the day, could it be he is napping too much so is not tired enough at night?

It seems there is a big focus on overtiredness on all the sleep websites but equally babies can be undertired if they sleep too much in the day.

I haven't tried CC yet so you many not want to take my advice! I've just been doing lots of research on sleep as my 8 month old is a rubbish sleeper 😴

Forevercurious Sat 17-Oct-20 13:51:36

Thanks @Dillybear. Last night was slightly better in the fact he woke at 2:30 but self settled within a few minutes. He then woke again at 3:45 and I gave in and fed him around 5:30.

@olivesonapizza so he’s never been a brilliant napper but is currently on two naps a day. Usually 20-30 minutes in the morning and then around an hour and a half in the afternoon. However the past few days he’s been having a 2 hour lunch nap. On Tuesday he slept from 10-11am and then 2-4pm so a total of 3 hours and was up for 2 hours that night, so on Wednesday he had his usual half hour in the morning and then two hours 1-3 (I thought waking up at 4 could have been another reason he was awake so much in the night) but woke up that same again that evening.

It’s frustrating because some days he’ll barely have an hour and still not sleep at night, other days he’ll have 2 / 2 and a half hours and still not sleep! No matter what nap combination we do, it doesn’t seem to improve the nights.

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olivesonapizza Sat 17-Oct-20 14:02:13

@forevercurious eeek that sounds familiar. I keep tweaking nap schedules thinking I'll find the miracle cure but I never do.

So what is happening at the moment, he is still waking and crying for long periods?

Forevercurious Sat 17-Oct-20 14:32:33

@olivesonapizza so annoying isn’t it, I keep hoping to find the miracle nap schedule but I don’t think there is one for him tbh!

The past 3 nights he’s been waking around 3am and just not going back to sleep until I give in and feed him. Longest I’ve lasted is 2 hours and 15 minutes but feeding him, he no longer feeds to sleep and will self settle after his feed so I’m doubting whether he’s genuinely hungry or waking up for it out of habit.

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Forevercurious Sat 17-Oct-20 14:33:12

*before feeding him that should say.

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June628 Sat 17-Oct-20 19:22:44

Hi OP no advice but watching with interest. I have an 8mo DD who still wakes up once at night to feed. Have only tried once not to feed her & after an hour of hysterical crying despite me holding her, singing, etc etc I gave in & fed her. For now I think I’ll just carry on as it’s so much easier to do a 10min feed than put up with hours of screaming but I know that isn’t the answer long term.
Hope someone has the magical cure for you!

olivesonapizza Sat 17-Oct-20 19:27:55

@june628 if your only issue is one wake up for a quick ten minute feed I think you are winning!!

June628 Sat 17-Oct-20 20:20:28

@olivesonapizza oh gosh I really didn’t mean for it to sound like that!!! Sorry if that’s how it came across 🤦🏼‍♀️

olivesonapizza Sat 17-Oct-20 21:15:38

@june628 haha don't worry. My first was a good sleeper so I've probably already had my fair share of sleep luck. Don't feel bad, enjoy it!

Dillybear Fri 30-Oct-20 08:01:12

@Forevercurious how’s everything going?

Forevercurious Sun 08-Nov-20 20:32:25

Sorry for the delay in the reply, it all went terribly wrong. On day 6 of the attempt he began teething and then had two teeth come through at once plus a cold on top of that so sleep went totally to pot! I haven’t had the mental strength and will power to retry it tbh. I know I’ll just give in so may as well wait until I’m feeling ready to tackle it again!

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