Cry it out

[WhyohWhyohhWHY]

My HV has recommended we give it a go.
My little one is 20 months old and still waking in the night... it's killing me being up for a couple of hours during the night and working.

Any experience with this method? Did it work?

[FourPlasticRings]

It's a fairly brutal one to go to as a first try. There are lots of more gentle methods you could go for first, if you've got a mind to sleep train.

[Thesearmsofmine]

No, i wouldn’t leave age my child to cry themselves to sleep. I would try to work out why my child is waking and work on that. Are they hungry, cold, scared etc.

[DramaAlpaca]

That method is widely considered quite cruel these days.

If you can bear to do it, it should work within a few days. But I think you'd need the hide of a rhino to not respond to the crying.

Google controlled crying instead, it's a much gentler method and should also work within a few days.

[AdultHumanFemale]

For the best sleep ever, and most secure, contented child, may I recommend co-sleeping? We never looked back.

[Ohalrightthen]

@AdultHumanFemale

For the best sleep ever, and most secure, contented child, may I recommend co-sleeping? We never looked back.

Lol

[WhatWouldJKRDo]

My HV convinced me to do this with my first child. It felt like child abuse.

Never again, no matter how disturbed DC2 and DC3 sleep patterns were.

[Dillybear]

Are you sure she meant cry it out? That’s where you just close the door and leave them to cry until they go to sleep. That would be horrendous with a little baby but with a 20 month old sounds impossible. I’d be surprised if a health visitor encouraged that. Could she have meant controlled crying? That involves going to comfort your child at intervals. There are lots of threads on controlled crying if that’s what you’re thinking of. I’m sorry if this comes across as totally patronising, I don’t mean it to! Just find it hard to believe that a health professional would recommend CIO.

[WhyohWhyohhWHY]

Yes sorry controlled crying is the method she meant but used the term cry it out so a bit confused there.
She said to go in in intervals and reassure him I'm there and go again and extend the length each time

[Dillybear]

I think that’s a very different thing! If you’ve got to 20 months and it’s not getting better on its own I’d give it a go. There are some current threads on CC that might be worth a read.

[WhyohWhyohhWHY]

@Dillybear sorry, what's CC?

[Dillybear]

Controlled crying, sorry! If you search for threads on here you’ll find absolutely loads of them.

Mumsnet tends to be a little anti controlled crying, a lot of the time you’ll see people advocating co sleeping instead and talking about how cruel/detrimental it is to sleep train. But co sleeping isn’t for everyone and certainly doesn’t guarantee a good night’s sleep. Not in my case, anyway.

I have read ‘cribsheet’ which is a book about parenting decisions by a statistician in which she has collated information about various things to do with parenting to help parents make informed decisions about things like sleep training. The book says that controlled crying doesn’t do any harm to babies at all.

That being said, it is very tough to do, and I think a lot of parents come to it as a last resort having tried gentler methods. I haven’t done CC specifically, but I will leave my baby to cry for a few minutes if she’s just cross and wants to be asleep, because she will just settle down then and trying to interfere doesn’t really help. But an angry cry is different from a distressed cry and I’d find it very hard to leave her if she was upset, as I’m sure you would with your DD. Having said that, babies need good quality sleep, as do their parents! So it might be the best thing for you to try it. I suggest if you’re going to give it a go, do some reading about how it works. Mentally prepare yourself for it, and then stick to it, otherwise it’s just unfair. There’s a support thread on here at the moment with mums who are trying it. Have a read of that and maybe join the thread for some solidarity. Wishing you some peaceful nights soon.