10 month old really struggling to stay asleep

(6 Posts)
BirdIsland Mon 12-Oct-20 15:42:00

I'm hoping someone has advice on my DD's sleep, I'm feeling pretty lost as to how to deal with her constant waking at night.

She's 10 months, always been a bad sleeper (both naps and nighttime) and can't self settle. She's been waking 5/6/7 times a night and I have to feed her to sleep each time. I spoke to a HV this week who said I had to encourage her to fall asleep in her cot (and actually someone on here gave some good advice on that previously). We've been trying to do this for a few nights, and whilst she can do it at bedtime (although it takes 30-60 minutes) and for subsequent wakes, she is then waking at about 1am and just can't seem to get back to sleep. She moans and cries in her cot, will seemingly fall asleep, but then wakes up within seconds and starts moaning again. She will at most sleep for 10 minutes before waking back up. The last three nights she's been awake in this way for almost two hours, just moaning/crying and moving around in her cot. All nights I've relented and fed her, just because I'm so shattered. She's then slept for three hours (the max she ever sleeps).

I don't know what to do for the best. I don't know why she can't stay asleep. She is obviously tired. I don't know if she has such a strong feed to sleep association that she can't sleep without it once she's past that first portion of the night. I just feel like I have no idea what to try next. And I'm just so tired! Any advice welcome!

OP’s posts: |
thecroft1984 Mon 12-Oct-20 19:16:03

I feel you! I have a boy the same age.. crap sleeper from the word go.. only slept on me bla bla. He did have reflux but by the time we got something for it I felt we made a rod for our back because he was so used to sleeping on us. Anyway I won’t bore you with the then till now story but I recently paid for a sleep therapist. He isn’t ‘cured’ but he’s better! The first few nights were a bit difficult.. he cried for over an hour with me sat nxt to his cot in the dark. But not I put him down awake now and he goes to sleep without help. He does still wake up around 4/5 sometimes but I’ll take it! We took away the dummy.. don’t know if you use one? And I have an app called huckleberry which I found really helpful for predicting his naps! It’s awful and exhausting though I know that. Xx

PolytheneHam Mon 12-Oct-20 19:31:24

I'm folowing this because I have a similar issue.

We don't feed to sleep but 9mo DS eakes several times a night and is cuddled/rocked back to sleep. We're all knackered. We use a dummy but I wouldn't have a clue how to stop at this age.

thecroft1984 Mon 12-Oct-20 20:20:26

We literally just took it away threw them all out and honestly he was over it in 2 days. Much easier that when they’re older and understand. First night was bad.. that really was it. X

BirdIsland Mon 12-Oct-20 21:35:39

We don't use a dummy, she's never taken to one despite me actually encouraging it in the hope it would help her sleep.

I always compare it to whack-a-mole, it's a constant challenge of trying to work out what the issue is - reflux, teething, too tired, not tired enough, sleep regression, other random things that you google in the middle of the night when you're desperately trying to work out why your baby has been awake for hours.

But its just so draining, and I'm fed up of it. I really wouldn't mind the feeding to sleep if she could sleep for longer periods in between. When I get the very occasional three hour stretch I see that as a total win. I just can't even fathom it when people say their babies sleep through the night!

OP’s posts: |
thecroft1984 Tue 13-Oct-20 06:31:34

I know I feel the same.. and I feel like people feel like you’re exaggerating and it can’t be that bad. But if you’ve not had it I don’t think you get it! I used to cuddle him to sleep and like yours he went no bother but it never lasted! So apparently it’s because when they wake up and try go back to sleep they need the same circumstances so I’m your case it’s feeding. I don’t know how you feel about trying other things.. I wasn’t keen on letting him cry but I was getting to a point I’m worried about going back to work with no sleep and getting more emotionally exhausted by the day! X

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