16 month old STILL wakes several times a night

(8 Posts)
MDocherty Sat 10-Oct-20 23:49:18

Since birth she has had difficulty sleeping; she wakes, often hysterical, several times a night. She usually refuses to be held by me. We have tried several sleep 'training' methods since her birth to no avail. Needles to say, it has been traumatic for us all and our exhaustion- emotionally, physically is palpable. We have called hotlines, spoken to health visitors, and doctors. We're at a total loss and are losing hope. The thought that something is physically wrong is constantly looming; night terrors? Sleep apnea? One doctor thought she had a milk intolerance; another severe reflux and indigestion. Or that she's too hungry to sleep. I don't know what to think. Any advice?

OP’s posts: |
LemonLemonLemon Sun 11-Oct-20 08:47:19

How long have you stuck with the sleep training? Lucy Wolfe does a gentleish sleep method, but you need to stick at it for a few weeks.
It must be so hard to have no rest for so long x

lighthouseinthesnow Sun 11-Oct-20 17:29:56

Poor you that sounds awful. Has nobody offered you any support? I thought HVs were supposed to help with baby/toddler sleep.

Have you tried a sleep consultant?

Will she nap in the day?

MDocherty Sun 11-Oct-20 20:00:17

We tried different methods over the course of a few months, the longest being about three weeks for the cold turkey 'cry it out' method. There was such good progress with that for just over a week, then such a distressing regression of long crying sessions, separation anxiety, and a terrible sleep association. She would cry over 1 1/2 hours, sometimes vomit, then not settle until midnight sometimes. Needles to say, we abandoned ship.

I'll need to look up Lucy Wolfe; thanks for the tip!

OP’s posts: |
MDocherty Sun 11-Oct-20 20:08:36

We had a terrible HV who just thought it was teething issues and made me feel like a bad mother for co-sleeping. The advice was your general run-of-the-mill patronising stuff; yes we have a calm bedtime routine. Yes, we've tried a cuddly toy. Trying to explain we're a bit beyond all that has been so frustrating! Thankfully we've moved so a fresh start.

We've looked into sleep consultants but I've been skeptical- seems very expensive for advice I've been reading or have seen online. But we're so desperate! I've lost any sense of right or wrong or instinct, so maybe I just need to pay someone for that alone!

We're expecting another girl come Dec so I'm bricking it, trying to sort this out before then. Her naps have never been good either; frequent waking, lucky to get a good solid hour stretch, needs rocked back to sleep or held to finish her nap. Otherwise, she's up down and ornery as hell. Never taken car or stroller naps hardly.

OP’s posts: |
Bourbonbiscuits20 Sun 11-Oct-20 20:44:45

Does she nap well?

Bourbonbiscuits20 Sun 11-Oct-20 20:56:02

Sorry I've just seen the part about napping in your previous post!! How much sleep do you think she gets during the day nap wise usually?

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FleasAndKeef Sun 11-Oct-20 21:08:06

This sounds really rough and must be totally exhausting for you.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad for cosleeping- sounds like you need to do whatever possible to allow everyone the maximum rest.

Have you ruled out teething pain as a cause? Molars come through at this age and in my experience have been shockingly disruptive to sleep. You can use paracetamol and ibuprofen together (with correct spacing of doses).

Take heart that it is not uncommon for toddlers to still be waking at night at this age, and you are not alone, but sounds like you could do with a break. Are you able to let someone take over for a night so you can get a good night's sleep? x

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