My days are wasted because of napping

[86jabberwocky]

DS is 19 months and he typically has his nap between 1pm-3.30pm. This one nap during the middle of the day ruins the whole day for me as he won't nap elsewhere apart from his own bed. I can't go anywhere, I can't plan anything because of this. I have to be at home during that time so he could nap. I feel annoyed because he never sleeps in his pushchair meaning I can never run errands, I always have to prioritise his nap before anything else. He will sleep max 1 hour in his car seat if I drive somewhere far on the motorway but apart from that, nothing replaces his bed. With the days getting shorter now, I'm really feeling down as I can't do anything. Today I left the house at 9am so I could sort some shopping out and grab some lunch with a friend, he didn't nap until I came home at 3pm meaning the final couple of hours was a nightmare as he was screaming and crying because he was so tired and was refusing to sleep in his pushchair. He typically wakes up at 8am and sleeps by 8pm. This time works well for us as DH could get some sleep and I could have time off in the evening.

[Branleuse]

its a tricky age. Mine would only really nap in their cots too and I used to get stuck indoors too. It isnt forever.

[eucalyptuss]

All of my friends and I are similar, so we arrange something either for 9:30 or for 14:30.

I'll miss the quiet time in the middle of day when it stops.

I thought most people loved the lunch nap for the peace and quiet!

[eucalyptuss]

Also, your child sleeps well in the day and well overnight. You should probably count yourself lucky and never ever complain about that in real life!

[ChanklyBore]

I had a kid that wouldn’t sleep if we were out, it was annoying but there was zero choice available as we weren’t going home to bed. No car so car naps not an option. I found she would cat nap or at minimum zone out in the carrier so we did that for a few years until naps were outgrown. Night time sleep was shit for years too, probably related. Needed a darkened room and silence to sleep but that was never going to happen in the middle of the day. Sleep never happened at the childminder either so I would receive back a cranky bundle of rage. Fun times. The world was too exciting. I could usually get 20-30 minutes in the carrier if the stars aligned and that would have to suffice.

[minnie465]

Enjoy it while it lasts. DS has suddenly dropped his nap age 2.5. He used to nap for 2.5-3hrs from around 12pm.
I just planned things around his nap time. So instead of going for lunch we'd go out for breakfast. It's not forever

[whatswithtodaytoday]

Mine is the same. It does make going out really difficult, but all my friends' kids of the same age nap at the same time and won't really nap in the pram anymore, so we either meet very early or late afternoon. I find it works best if I can get him up at 7, sleep by 12.30 and awake again by 3... if he has a lie in in the morning he doesn't fall asleep until nearly 2 sometimes, and then naps until 4 and the day is almost over.

[p0ptart]

I thought you were going to say because you have to lie next to them for the entire nap (which is what I had to do!). Being home for that period is fine and quite normal, no? My friends and I all did this with our little ones. They nap better in the cot, which likely means a better night's sleep, which is good for everyone. We sometimes arranged to have lunch at each other's houses and the visiting baby would nap in a travel cot. Would that work?

[Sophoa]

I had to do this with my eldest. The alternative was just not worth it. I made sure we were out nice and early in the morning to do things. He had lunch by 12.30 and into bed until 2.30. I used that time for me to have some peace. At 2.30 if he was still asleep I just moved him into pram or car and it was fine with me if he woke up. I tended then to go out for the afternoon, give dinner out and then come home by 6 for bath and bed. Worked well

[Himawarigirl]

That does take over the afternoon a bit but you still have the whole morning, which is when most baby/toddler things seem to take place. I guess it makes whole day outings difficult and I do remember that being frustrating sometimes, as my daughter was the same. If I went to a friend’s house my dd could nap in a travel cot if they had one. But mainly I really loved the time to myself during the day and didn’t mind the limitation, which is all too temporary once the nap is dropped.

[SunbathingDragon]

I think what you are describing is normal. Soon the naps will get shorter and stop altogether.

[OverTheRainbow88]

Sounds like the dream to me 8-8 and a 2 Hour break half way through!

Want to swap 19 month olds?!!

[WeveGottaGetTherouxThis]

I remember feeling exactly like this, but it’s not forever. I had two children 16 months apart, so it felt like an eternity that I was tied to the lunchtime nap...when he stops napping, you’ll feel so liberated!!

[Kanaloa]

It’s a bit annoying but it doesn’t last long. Some babies/toddlers just can’t sleep away from their beds. It might be a good thing, he’s in a routine and getting good sleep in his comfortable space. It doesn’t last long, soon he won’t be napping anymore anyway.

[86jabberwocky]

Thank you all for your replies. We have been in a routine since he was 5 weeks old but back then, he would spend one of his naps in his pram but since dropping to one nap a day, it's been like this, he will only fall asleep in his cot. There were times when I had to lie next to him so he could sleep. It's just dawned on me today that I won't be out much during winter or have to leave early and be back for his nap time. I see toddlers fast asleep in their pushchairs when I'm out sometimes and thought my lo would also fall asleep in his pushchair when I was out today until 3pm but obviously not :(

[BigPlanes]

Those days are long but the years are very short. I would suggest taking advantage of it whilst you can. Make sure you get some time to yourself, because you won’t get much of that for much longer! Giving you permission to read your fave book, watch adult TV during the week, etc!!

[eucalyptuss]

Sorry I sound unsympathetic but I really feel like it's a non-issue. The most important thing is that babies and toddlers get proper sleep for their development. If it means staying in then so be it. Just enjoy the peace and quiet.

It could be so much worse.

[BlueJay99]

Lucky you

[86jabberwocky]

@OverTheRainbow88 oh he does wake up frequently between 8-8 but I'm used to that. The 2 hour afternoon nap is just annoying because it's right in the middle of the day when I'm ready to leave the house after a hectic morning but no I can't. When he wakes up at 3pm ish, I have to feed him, change him and then it's 4pm and have 1 hour left before shops close and now it's getting darker quicker with winter approaching :(

[idril]

Yep, very normal.

Was a bit of a pain but has its advantages. You've probably only got another 6 months of it so enjoy it while it lastss!

[BendingSpoons]

I'm guessing your friends don't have young children? We are up and about early or I invite people to mine and have lunch in peace. It is annoying when you want a full day out but worth it for that 2 hr break each day. Mine never really slept in the buggy or only would have 40 minutes max.

[86jabberwocky]

Btw everyone, I wouldn't want to change his nap with anything as he becomes a monster when he doesn't nap, that's why I have been strict with it but a friend was telling me the other day how she's out everyday and her little girl just sleeps in her pushchair. I thought I should try it today but didn't work out. I guess he isn't used to being out falling asleep in his pushchair.

[BendingSpoons]

Cross post. Can you try to switch things round so you get up and go out and do housework etc in the afternoon?

[eucalyptuss]

You just have to get out earlier. Stop blaming your baby for his very reasonable needs! Shops aren't a priority

[86jabberwocky]

@BendingSpoons the friend we met today doesn't have a kid but my DS gently reminded her why it was a good idea to be child free 😂 When he wakes up in the morning at 8am I normally give him breakfast and then we wait for a number 2 and then I get ready and by the time we are ready, it's 10.30-11am and only gives us a couple of hours before he starts whinging and I have to rush back by 1pm for his nap. Today I thought "f**k it, let him fall asleep in his pushchair" but that didn't go well as he was constantly whinging and crying.

[MarjorytheTrashHeap]

Frustrating but you have to arrange more for the morning. You will probably look back very fondly on those 2 and a half hours of peace in a year or so!