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7.5 months waking every hour over night(11 Posts)
Hello wise mumsnetters,
I am needing some advice and support from your collective knowledge bank.
DS2 is 7.5 months, weaning and EBF. He was the dream newborn - slept all the time, fell asleep independently and regularly slept 4/5/6 hours at a time overnight.
Then 4 months hit and it has gradually worsened since then. We ended up feeding to sleep and since approx 6 months, he wakes every 45 mins to 1 hour over night.
I co-slept for a while but I don’t want this long term and sleep quality is so poor.
My DH and I tried Lucy Wolfe but it didn’t work - night 1 - 2.5 hours of inconsolable screaming with nothing distracting him.
I am now managing to feed for a little while, he is still awake, then transfer him to cot, he cries, I sing him some songs and he falls asleep.
This is hit and miss - sometimes it works, sometimes he won’t settle and needs to be fed to sleep. This is for daytime naps and at bedtime. We have a good bedtime routine.
I would say majority of the time, it works.
But he still wakes every 45mins to 1 hour and requires resettling. (Usually by feeding to sleep overnight and I know this is a problem as it is inconsistent).
I am exhausted. My DH wants to help and recently has also been able to settle him by rocking in the evening and overnight (sometimes).
Please tell me
1/ that this won’t last forever (I know it won’t as I have DS1 who was a terrible sleeper and now sleeps beautifully - but I can’t remember how we got from here to there)
2/ any ways you have managed to get your little ones to link sleep cycles
3/ any sleep training resources you would recommend. I would prefer to avoid controlled crying but at this stage would try anything
Ps he refused a dummy when little and I can’t get him to take one now.
Also - he usually only does 45 mins naps in the day in his cot. He often does 1-1.5 hours in car or in buggy but wakes every sleep cycle in cot.
1. It won’t last forever, and it’ll transition will happen so painlessly that you won’t even notice, like with like DS1
2. Apparently you can be on standby a couple of minutes before they are due to wake up and help them before they actually wake. How you do that probably depends on #3 answers
3. Does he use a comforter? Do you use any white noise or lullabies? Any Ewan’s, Ollie the Owl etc?
I had similar but not quite as bad - from 4 to 8 months my DS woke 4-8 times a night. My DH took a week off work and offered water at all night wakings for 3 nights. This is when it started to get better. So I recommend night weaning.
We had the same with DS. He was also 7.5months when he became a bad sleeper. We had used the Lucy Wolfe stay and support approach and it worked at 6 months. But the regression hit at 7.5 months and it kept getting worse. The stay and support method just made him needy and he couldn't get back to sleep without us holding him or him lying next to us. DS is just turning 1 and we were just so tired we knew something had to change.
We got a sleep consultant and she gave us a new routine and new approach to sleep. This is night 3 of the controlled crying method and he put himself to sleep within 10 minutes and hes slept the last 2 nights.
He literally went from waking every hour to sleeping through over night. I am in complete shock and I was exactly like you and couldn't see how any of this could be fixed.
I wasnt a fan of letting him cry but my god it has really really worked. The controlled crying method is also a lot more gentle. I would recommend it as it sounds like we've had every similar situations. I hope this helps!
We had this issue. Every hour, feeding, rocking, singing, shhhing, patting, me silently weeping in the dark.
We did CC. It took 2 days. She cried for an hour the first night, 20 minutes the second, 3rd night she slept through. 4 months later i have not been woken in the night, once.
Thank you so much, each of you, for taking the time to reply.
I have been thinking more and more about controlled crying (reluctantly) as the best way forward for our whole family.
Out of interest, what intervals did you use, and did you do it, or your partners?
Have you ruled out reflux? Reactions to new foods? Wind?
All these things need to be ruled out before using CC (I have the Ferber book which explains this very well).
When I started weaning my eldest , his sleep would go to pot depending on what he’d eaten. Windy veg were the worst and he’d have awful episodes after yoghurt, pineapple, etc. So try and keep track.
We did a version of controlled crying that just involved DH going in and cuddling DS until he stopped crying. We didn’t leave him but essentially stopped feeding him to sleep. DH because I was still BF (and he’s tougher than I am).
I did Elizabeth pantly no cry sleep solution book to transition to my ds never falling asleep on the breast. Then you can do cc if necessary but first I’d get him out of the habit of needing your breast fit a comforter otherwise cc will be horrible. Ncss is slow and gradual but for us it did work.
First night I returned every 10 seconds for the first while to reassure him I was there and he was safe. As his cry started to turn into a whimper I waited 5 mins, then 7 mins then 10 mins and eventually he fell asleep. He fell asleep after 1hr 20mins. Slept all night.
Second night 20 seconds and waited longer intervals. He fell asleep within an hour. Woke once at 3am.
Third night waited 30seconds and only went in 3 times and he just went off to sleep after 10 mins.
Follow same approach for naps and over night.
its hard listening to them cry, make sure to rule out any illnesses first so you know they are OK. Persistence and consistency is key.
My partner and are both doing it. Make sure to have the same parent return each time. So if you put him to bed, you return each time until he falls asleep and not your partner.