Please help with 10 month old - I need sleep!!!!

[Cawillmay]

DD is 10 months, waking every 2 hours-sometimes more often-at night and I’m reaching breaking point. Please help me!!! We have a good bedtime routine-she goes down well 7ish after bath and bottle, eats well during the day, is bf with formula before bed. She’ll wake up initially between 10 and midnight and after her first waking, it’s every 2 hours, sometimes to the minute, sometimes less than that. We’ve tried everything to no avail😫. Her older siblings are back at school now so leaving her to cry and wake them is not really an option anymore. Her napping during the day is also horrendous..loud siblings at home all the time through lockdown meant she was always disturbed and is now in the habit of very short naps-20 mins if I’m lucky.
I know there’s no miracle cure but I’m sure there’s some things I could/should be doing that I’m just too tired to think of...all advice greatly appreciated!

[Couldntthinkofausername24]

Have you tried white noise in baby's bedroom. Our home is very open plan and you can hear each other from one side of the house to the other so we got an old radio and play it on a static channel all night long and for naps quite loud. Until recently my son was waking up as much time as your baby. The things we tried were removing dummy, putting in own room. Putting down awake and only return to the room if he was crying. If he whinged I leave him to it. I don't believe in leaving your baby him cry out out so I return instantly, calm him down and then leave again. Took a while for him to go to sleep but this helped him to self settle. He used to wake up 10 times a night sometimes more and it was partly because he wanted his dummy and partly because he couldn't get back to sleep without help from me or dad. When we took away the dummy and implemented the self settling his sleep has improved by about 80% so now when he wakes up he can self sooth himself back to sleep.

Sorry if this is something you have already tried. I just know it helped for me and hope it does for you too.

The sleepless nights are the hardest. My son slept awful from day 1. I used to think all the time What have I done but now it's so much better x

[Cawillmay]

Thank you @Couldntthinkofausername24 for your reply. Ah interestingly I used to play white noise for her at nighttime but something happened and I stopped...so I’ll try that again-thanks for reminding me!
She’s in her own room and does have a dummy..I’m a bit scared of taking it away but it’s worth a try. Did you remove it completely or just at sleep time? My other two didn’t sleep consistently through until they were about a year but definitely by 10 months they were better than this and would sleep through on occasion, giving me a bit of respite. I think I must have blanked out all memory of sleep deprivation including how to help it go away 🤦‍♀️
Thank you!!

[Couldntthinkofausername24]

Definitely get out the white noise again. I play it from under his cot all night long snd for naps. When he moved out of the room me and my husband led there in complete silence and missed listening to it. It was very soothing. Yep took it away cold turkey one morning after being up 65 million times that night. He does however have it the occasional time only in the car as he hates being in his car seat. He relied quite heavily on it too. The 3 days were long but we got there and honestly his sleep improved that very night. Im sure your doing a cracking job and you do what you have to do in that moment. My baby had sleep associations which took us a while to stop but I dont regret any of it. I dont regret giving him a dummy. In fact I miss watching him sucking his dummy. X

[Cawillmay]

Thanks you again @Couldntthinkofausername24
I got the white noise out but alas no joy. I just had the night you had prior to taking away your son’s dummy😩 It’s really affecting my mood now. I know I need to start the ‘training’ again but as she’s breast fed, every time I go in in the night she wants milk and screams the house down if I don’t give it to her, so I feed her to get her to be quiet and not wake those who have to be up for school/work. I know I’ve to stop this as I’ll be back at work soon myself and functioning on this broken sleep is bad enough when I’m dealing with 3 kids..when I actually have to use my brain it’ll be impossible. I just need to steel myself for the inevitable screaming marathon and maybe warn the neighbours😬 Wish me luck!

[Couldntthinkofausername24]

Oh bless you. Keep on with the white noise. Try for at least two weeks. How loud do you have it? Ours is pretty loud. I would try and take the dummy first and then go on to the feeding situation a few weeks later. Dont do too many things at once. Could you send in your partner perhaps? She will see you and associate your boobies with you. Maybe try that.

Its hell on earth isn't it? For the first few months of his life I really really struggled. I struggled to establish breastfeeding, he wasn't sleeping, I had two infections and my mood was really taking a nose dive.

Give those a go and ill scratch my head for other things that might help. Do come back to me and let me know how you get on. Xx

[FippertyGibbett]

Mine never went to bed before 8pm. Maybe try a later bed time ?
And if you’re going to stop BF maybe do it now. Does she really need to feed that often or is she using you as a dummy ?
Will she take a bottle ? If so offer that only at night.

[user24]

I'm going to follow this because I am having The same nightmare with my 14 month old. Fucking horrendous

[Couldntthinkofausername24]

@Cawillmay and @user24 how was your night x

[user24]

@Couldntthinkofausername24 I strangely had a better night and it was my 4 year old that done most the waking up 🙄

What did you use for white noise? Your phone? I want a machine that plays constantly all night, maybe loud enough that I could put it on my landing and it would get my daughters room as well.

My Son doesn't use a dummy, but he needs my boob to get back to sleep. I have managed to stop breastfeeding in the day time so I suppose he is slowly weaning off of me!

[Cawillmay]

@Couldntthinkofausername24 you’re very good to check in thanks. Strangely I also had a bit of a better night with DD. @user24 maybe there’s some strange magic that works with shared issues on mumsnet!? Always comforting to know you’re not alone! I use a tablet for white noise though it’s not very loud so maybe I could find an old radio and use that.
The frustrating thing with my DD is she’s starting to go down well for a morning nap-put her in cot fully Awake and she’ll be asleep within 5 mins. It only lasts half an hour or so..but it means she is able to put herself to sleep, just decides not to at nighttime🤦‍♀️
@user24 hopefully now he’s weaned off the boob in the day, the nights will follow🤞
@FippertyGibbett thanks for your reply and love the username😊..she definitely doesn’t need to feed that often at night no. So yes, you’re right she’s using me as a dummy and I need to wean her off it. I’m not ready to stop breastfeeding altogether though. Yes she takes a bottle-we give her formula before bed each night. Do you mean when she wakes at night we should offer bottle instead of boob? How would that work though with making bottles in the middle of the night? That’s actually made me think of something I think I tried with my eldest..offering water at night rather than milk. I don’t know if that’ll discourage waking though 🤔

[Couldntthinkofausername24]

I use an old radio and just put it on static. Honestly its so soothing. Glad you both had a better night. I found that of he naps better in the day time he sleeps better at night. He tends to sometimes only sleep for 30 kins in a morning so when he wakes up ill shoot upstairs and get him back to sleep. This does help him massivly. X

[pjani]

Definitely try offering water! Night weaning was one of the few things that clearly improved my DS's sleep.