12 mo high volume screaming at naptimes. Any ideas??? Please?!!!

[cruisemum1]

ds, 12mo, has recently begun really high volume, hysterical screaming at naptimes but only if he is in his cot. He needs the naps as he will peacefully fall asleep in his buggy/car seat at similar times. I cannot take him out every nap time as I have other considerations. Anyone experienced this? What did you do???? He screamed (and I mean screamed) for 35 mins yesterday before nodding off. I did go in and check/reassure but it was horrible

[cruisemum1]

help....

[cruisemum1]

what - no-one has experienced ths before???. No-one has an opinion on it . Mnetters I need your input.perlease!

[cruisemum1]

No-one else???? my ds must be a freak then

[janjas]

No, he's not a freak! My ds used to be the same until I changed her routine and now she sleeps lovely during the day. I used to put her back to bed in the morning about 10am and she had her main sleep of the day then. She would totally refuse the afternoon nap and scream in her cot until I gave in and let her get up. She was then so tired by 6.00pm that she ended up in bed by 6.30-45 most night - resulting in v early mornings! I decided last week to stop her morning sleep, and put her down after lunch. She was that ready for it, that she fell straight asleep at 12 for 1.5 hours. She then kept going all day till 7.30pm and slept till 7.45 the next morning. Its been the same now for the last 4 days. She is 13 months. Have you tried cutting out the morning nap?

[Anonymama]

No, it's totally normal. My DS is now 22mths and fighting a lunchtime nap (currently hysterical) although when he occasionally does without he is tired and grumpy by 5pm, and unable to settle at his usual bedtime.

At around a year, he was the same, although we've had a good few months in between where he did settle to sleep quite happily and sometimes kipped for 2+hrs. Other times he would settle well, but wake up hysterical.

But I know how you feel. The crying makes me want to go down the bottom of the garden and take up smoking !!

I wish there were some easy answers. Some friends say just let them scream it out - eventually they will supposedly fall asleep from sheer exhaustion - and others suggest controlled crying/ regular reassurance (which for my son seems to wind him up even more).

We can only hope that when they eventually go to pre-school, they will wear themselves out and embrace the cot with enthusiasm.

[cruisemum1]

thanks all . I know he is not a freak! It is just that \i couldnt believe that i had posted teh thread yesterday and still not received any re0plies!

[cruisemum1]

not convinced he could drop naps as he falls alseep on the move at naptime if we are out iyswim. He fell asleep on school run this morning for 1.5hrs as he was shattered from waking early this morning. Oh what to do???!!!

[Anonymama]

Mine has just gone silent after 45mns of hysterical crying. I can't leave him on his own for that length of time, and he is at the age where he has some basic language and lots of comprehension, so I end up going up to his room and trying various strategies - none of them consistently, so it is probably all "my fault" - but when your kids is screaming blue murder it is hard to be all rational and systematic about things...

It leaves me feeling emotionally exhausted. I'm 6mths prg with his sibling, and need a break at lunchtime, and dread what things will be like when I have two of them bawling their hearts out.

So I feel for you cruisemum, 'cause I know how horrible and hard it can be.

Thinking back to what we did at 12mths, all I can suggest is:

• really regular bedtime routine (bath, milk, story, bed) at around 6.30-7.30. If you're lucky they should sleep till about 6-7 the next morning.
  
• No morning nap - windows open and jolly singing in the car if their eyelids flutter...
  
• Early lunch 11.15-11.45
  
• Milk and in a cot by about 12.30. I think there is definitely a "window" in which they are tired enough to go to sleep but not soooo tired that they fight it.
  
  And hopefully they sleep for an hour or two then. Which should see them through till the evening routine.
  
  But what the do I know? I think my DS is at a different stage - the "I know what buttons to push" - whereas yours is a little bit more reactive perhaps. But it is still one of the hardest parts of parenting I think!!
  
  Good luck.

[janjas]

Anonymama, my routine is nearly exactly the same as yours. I had to laugh when you mentioned about the singing and windows open the car! I did the same this morning on our way back from Asda! She was staring out of the window trance-like, until I starting singing to her! Once we got home and she could start playing with her toys - and winding our pet dog up - she was fine and lasted until 12.15 when I put her to bed. She is just stiring now after 1.5 hours.

[cruisemum1]

maybe i will give it a go. thank youso much . he has gone to sleep now after about 10mins low level grizzling so we will see what the afternoon yields! Off to nap myself - shattered!

[Anonymama]

Still persevering with the after lunch nap!! We went out all day yesterday, and he battled sleep until 4pm, then conked out just aa we got home! Today I was determined to get him to sleep in his cot, so I just had to be determined... Lots of household noise downstairs to reassure him that I was there, but show him I was too busy to sit in his room etc. Up after 15mns, calmly told him to lie down and go to sleep - resulting in more hysteria. After another 20mns, went up and said the same thing. He demanded Cbeebies, so I left him to it and 5mns later he just fell asleep mid-shout.

It feels horrible, but as my mate remarked yesterday, we'll both have to get used to him settling himself more effectively when his younger sibling arrives.

Hope you are having a better time of it Cruisemum.

[cruisemum1]

anonymama - well don for persevering! Hard though isn't it . It will benefit everyone though once he has the message. ds now waking early so defo needing two daily naps. Love teh naps but not so keen on seeing the sun rise....