Has anyone used a private sleep clinic for sleepless toddler?

[fizzbuzz]

Dd 15 months old. Has slept through night about once. She usually wakes up about every 2 hours, and often won't go back to sleep.

Dp and I constantly sleep deprived and both work. Can see no end in sight. Have tried EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING. Would take hours to write down everything on here.

Local nhs sleep clinic closed down due to cuts , and hv useless

[Mij]

Poor you. In same boat, DD same age, has never slept through, still night feeds but we haven't tried particularly hard to change anything as ime I get more sleep just going with it, but that's not advice, just comparing notes...

I've thought about this too - I've heard about Millpond, have you typed that into the search box here and in google? They don't just cut to controlled crying, from what I can see. Crapola about your local nhs sleep clinic. I didn't even know there was such a thing.

If you can't face writing everything down, can you bullet point the main features of what you've tried ?

[fizzbuzz]

Have looked at Millpond, and am seriously considering them.

Have tried cc once and never again
Sitting by her,
sitting with hand on her
sleeping with us
sleeping in her room
offering water
PU/PD
Giving her a large supper

EVERYTHING, and she still wakes up all the time, she's not interested in night feeds though.

[Mij]

Blimey, you really have done the works, haven't you. Not one to be alarmist, but have you ruled out anything physical/medical? Is she happy when she wakes? When she stays up, what does she want to do - play, be cuddled? Is her pattern very regular, or does she wake twice one night, and 5 times the next?

Hang in there mama, I've just done the second wake up and it's only 9.25. Haven't had supper yet, why the hell am I here..?

[newlifenewname]

Sometimes you need to look at the whole day and not just bedtime and it all falls into place. I know another mnetter who does sleep training, as do I.

[fishie]

fizzbuzz have you seen popsycal poster here? she has had issues with her ds sleeping - he must be about 2.5 now. i think she has been for an observation v recently too.

[CarGirl]

fizzbuzz it does sound like a developmental thing - like she hasn't learned how to sleep. Have you tried cranial osteopathy????

Dd3 has ended up with developmental therapy (wtf?) anyway it seems to be working this is about them still having reflexes that they should have lost and not developing the new ones they should have. She still had her morro reflex, sucking reflex and she moves like a crawling baby not a 4 year old - it was freaky seeing it but it does explain some of her antincs including her wierd sleep behaviour (although craniel really improved this very quickly)

[PeachesMcLean]

Agree with newlife about looking at the whole day. How are her daytime naps?

[fishie]

aloha got a sleep consulatant in. i was all set to do likewise but suddenly ds started to go to sleep and stay there, about 20m.

[fizzbuzz]

She was ok until she was really ill when she was 10 months old. She had a horrible vomiting virus, which I caught and it really was awful.

Ever since then she has been really unsettled. After about 3 months of this she did start to improve of her own accord.

However we then went on holiday, and there was nowhere to put the cot except in our room. Also she wouldn't settle on her own,in a strange room so we had to end up sitting with her, until she fell asleep. That was 6 weeks ago. She is now totally used to us being there and we can't get out without instant hysteria, day or night. Also she stands up and chucks dummies and toys over the cot. She won't sleep without a dummy, so we have to stay there to chuck them back in.

I have just put her down for nap, and tried to leave her..instantaneous hysteria.

She generally has a 2 hour nap about 11.00am. As for waking up, it is pretty regular at, 9.15pm, 10.15pm, 12.30am,
2.00am, 4.00am, 6.00am, and then up about 7.30am. She is nearly always tired and
grumpy in the day

Dp thinks we should cut down her daytime sleep, but I,m not sure this is the answer. Any advice???

She was a good night time sleeper when she was tiny, but not a good daytime napper, although she was very tired. I think she needs more sleep than average, but she never gets it

[fizzbuzz]

I think she could settle on her own at one point tbh, in fact I know she could, but it all started when she was ill, and it never really got back on track from there.

[fizzbuzz]

Also we have to keep a hand on her sometimes, to make her go to sleep, otherwise she just stands up, and won't sleep at all.

We don't have to do this everytime though

[Marne]

Hi fizzbuzz, dd1 did'nt sleep through until she started pre-school (age 3.5) and somenights she still does'nt sleep through.

Dd2 has slept through since 12 months ,she's now 18months and has strated to wake again so we are cutting out her nap or only letting he nap before 11.30 (1 hour max)

Dd1 always sleeps better if she has been playing outside in the fresh air.

[fizzbuzz]

Newlifenewname, where are you based???

2 other things: if you leave her to cry she makes herself sick.

Also if you don't respond very very fast, she never settles back.....

[newlifenewname]

Hiya, I'll be on in the evening so will add to whatever helpful advice you receive in the meantime then.

You know, I think having a sleep trainer in is as much about having the support as it is about being shown a technique. Personally unless the family has no preference or ideas on techniques to tackle the behaviour, I feel a sleep trainer's role is to provide back up in a practical and emotional sense. Like being able to see the wood for the trees and restore faith in your gut instincts.

[fizzbuzz]

Newlifenewnamwe how much do you charge? Totally agree it is about support.

Ds would sleep anywhere, why is dd such a nightmare?

Perhaps I should cat popsycal and aloha Have discovered their threads.

What I don't understand is why she wakes up so often. I could cope with once or twice, but every sodding 2 hours.

I then have to go to work and teach teenagers all day,and they are just as bad

Sometimes I feel like I am going mad, my memory has all but disappered, I can't even remeber conversations from yesterday

[newlifenewname]

I'm in Hertfordshire and mainly work in London but have travelled for occasional jobs. Email me at ikeaphobe at yahoo dot co dot uk if you want to chat more about it.

Happy to offer experience as advice even if you don't want to book a session with a trainer when it comes to it. A lot of people just need to be sure that they aren't doing it all wrong! (Even when it is not their first baby)

[fizzbuzz]

Thanks to everyone for their help. Yes have tried cranial oesteopathy, and of course that made no difference either.

NLNN, will email you when I can. I live in Yorkshire so Herts is miles away

[newlifenewname]

There will be a solution for you - most likely a method you've already tried. You need confidence, and the conviction that your decisions are right and things will work for you and dd. Some babies and children sleep only a little but it is unnatural even for a child who needs only a little sleep.
Speak later.

[fizzbuzz]

She needs loads of sleep, and is always crabby. She's not one of those children who don't need much sleep

[fizzbuzz]

Sent you an email earlier today xx

[Mij]

Was reading something a couple of days ago about sleeping through being a developmental milestone that kids reach at different stages just like every other. I know that's not much consolation to those of us with 15mos who wake very regularly and are knackered, but for a few hours over the weekend I felt a bit better about it!

I'll find out just how much dd is waking tonight, as I'm back in a room with a clock after 3 weeks without one. I'm guessing you've come across Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution? It's for those who are in for the long haul and don't fancy CC.

[fizzbuzz]

tried that. Someone said start a sleep diary which I intend to do.....

[cockles]

No fixit here, but ime nhs clinics only cut straight to cc, and also ours said they don't see night wakings under 2ish as a problem - which puts it in nice perspective. But they also said, which hit hard wtih me, that he will keep waking up as long as he gets some response/reward for it. Don't ask me where to go from there - I have no idea - because what's the alternative, to punish him by ignoring him? Why are babies so bonkers when all we are trying to do is meet their needs?
[Also up every 2 hours last night, tho thankfully not every one]
How do you get her back to sleep when she wakes? It sounds quite simply that she has forgotten how to transition between sleep cycles. And I have never found an easy way to get my child to relearn that.

[fizzbuzz]

Yes I suspected that sleepc cycles thing, and it has always been a problem especially with naps, but it now seems to have become a nightime thing.

Sometimes jut laying her back down will make her go back, but then at other times she just fusses on and on, fidgeting and grizzling.

The worse thing is sometimes she wakes up, can't get back to sleep and starts crying with tiredness, then she gets hysterical and won't go back for ages.

Don't know how to brake it, When she was very little patting and shushing helped during naps, but didn't work every time.