9 month old wakes up at 5am no matter what!!!

(48 Posts)
mumtobeinsept Fri 10-Jul-20 07:40:21

Please help!!

My daughter is almost 10 months old and for the past 3 months or so has been waking up at between 4-5.30 everyday. Some nights she wakes up 2-3 times in the night too. She was a great sleeper at night from day 1 and I just don't understand what's caused this change. I held on thinking it might be teething or a sleep regression but it's just not going away.

I cut down her naps to 2-2.5 hours max and dropped it from 3 to 2. So at the moment she has a nap at 9.30 for an hour or an hour an a half max then another one at 2.30 for 45mins to an hour.

She used to go bed at 8, I tried making it later to 9pm and that still didn't work. I've now brought it forward to 7.15 because she wasn't getting enough sleep. It basically doesn't matter what time she goes bed she still wakes up at 5. She has no problem putting herself back to sleep in the night most of the times but even though I can see her trying she just can't go back to sleep after 5. She has blackout blinds but they let out a bit of light from the sides. It's still quite dark though.

I tried rocking her, walking around with her, bringing her to our bed but nothing works.

She's definitely not waking up because of hunger because when I take her down she's happy to play and doesn't ask for food until I feed her around 7.30-8. I dropped the night feed very early on around 4 months because she was sleeping through. She loves her food and has 3 full meals, snacks and 3 bottles everyday. I keep her routine consistent every single day.

I'm back at work now, working from home with a heavy workload and looking after her on hardly any sleep. I am at the end of my tether exhausted all day everyday. I honestly just want to run away!!

A friend of mine said to give her a bottle but is it wise to reintroduce night feeds at 10 months?

I am after helpful suggestions so please keep smart ass comments to yourselves. To some people getting up at 5am might not be an issue but it's just not for me. I am miserable and tired all the time.

Thank you in advance xx

OP’s posts: |
LouiseTrees Fri 10-Jul-20 09:06:05

Night feed I don’t think would help as you’ve said she’s not hungry in the morning. Does she get water with meals? I read somewhere that the digestive system is most active at 5am so it’s maybe too much food/poor digestion of it?

bluesapphirestars Fri 10-Jul-20 09:12:38

To be honest this is me as well so I’d be interested to know what others think!

But you are right, earlier bedtimes won’t work. If I go to bed at 1, I wake at 5, go to bed at 9pm, wake at 5.

I hate saying this but I think earlier bedtimes for you might be the answer. flowers

RedCatBlueCat Fri 10-Jul-20 10:48:47

Yeah, sorry. We found it MUCH easier to shift the adults sleep pattern than the baby's sleep patterns.
So, yes, I went to bed (like, lights out) at 9pm for ages. Then from 5am, I did quiet stuff in the house, with the walking toddler (from 9 months, before that in a sling) "helping" - prepared dinner, renewed the car insurance, wiped down bathrooms and kitchens, dusted (no vacuuming)...... My social life was pretty pants - going for an evening out wiped me for a few days, but at least that was occasionally, not every night.
We also discovered the local park opened at 7, and were well known by the groundsman unlocking the place - 30 mins in the park, then off to nursery and work.

He STILL, aged 11 years, wakes around 5.30 most days. Thankfully now he just switches on a light and reads.

BabySleepTeacherUK Fri 10-Jul-20 11:44:58

To try and shift her body clock take a time. You need to be consistent with set bedtime and set nap times for a good 3 weeks before seeing a reliable change. You might have a while when baby is going to bed later and also getting up early, but don't assume you can't change routine if that happens. It just needs time and consistency.

Your afternoon nap needs to be earlier and longer than the morning nap. Over tiredness might mean morning and afternoon nap are same length, but if one is shorter it should be the morning nap not the afternoon nap.

I would suggest:

● Aimed wake up time 7.00am. Wake baby by this time if ever she's not already awake.

● Morning Nap - awake by 10.15am (Wake baby up). Depending on what morning wake up time was, start this nap between 8.45 or 9.30am. So the aim is a 45 min nap (9.30-10.15) but if baby was up at 5.30am start the nap earlier to allow for more sleep. Have a "set in stone" wake up time of 10.15am though, to allow for a more routined afternoon nap.

● Afternoon Nap. While the morning nap is flexible depending on how the night went, make the afternoon nap mire structured in its timing. Aim for 1.30pm-3.30pm sleep. So baby asleep by 1pm (factor in settling time, so start earlier). Then wake baby up at 3pm if not already awake.

● Bed time - I would start next time routine at 8pm with the plan that baby us asleep by 8.30pm.

What to do with an early wake up?

Don't get up, if at all possible. Nothing wrong with an early morning bottle, the warm milk and full belly may well help baby to resettle back into a doze. Its not about hunger, you're giving it for the benefit of sleep.

I'd also team blackout curtains with your blackout blinds. The curtains stop the light bleeding around the edge of the blinds. Doubling up blackout is a good thing, especially in summer.

Then, if you can't resettle baby back in the cot, bring her into your bed until "get up time". Set your expectations here - while you want to make it dull and uninteresting for her in your bed (in the hope the sizes with you) the likelihood is she won't sleep so don't get dishearted by hoping you will get to go back to sleep. That's not the aim, the aim is more about not starting your day until 7am.

BabySleepTeacherUK Fri 10-Jul-20 11:47:03

Correction:
So baby asleep by 1.30pm (factor in settling time, so start earlier). Then wake baby up at 3.30pm if not already awake.

mumtobeinsept Fri 10-Jul-20 12:02:04

To be honest after I've put her to bed, by the time I cook dinner, eat, wash up, hoover etc... it's almost 9pm. I'd like to just sit down with a cup of tea and unwind for an hour at least before bed. Without that I think I would literally go mad.

I used to be so social and active before DD. Gym 5 days a week, drinks with work, dinner couple of times a week and now all I do is sit in the house. Still have 2 stones of baby weight to lose too which I can't shift for the life of me.

Sorry I'm on such a downer sad I love my little girl to bits and she's happy and healthy but I'm just really struggling at the mo. I thought at 10 months in I'd be out of the woods but i still don't feel or look like myself and I'm taking it out on my other half which I hate.

OP’s posts: |

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bluesapphirestars Fri 10-Jul-20 12:04:46

I hear you OP, it’s absolutely awful. I have no social life to speak of, I am tired and ready for bed by 9. But I have honestly tried everything and my body will not do it. I wake up at that time and I can’t get back to sleep. My dad and gran were the same sad

She will hopefully grow out of it.

mumtobeinsept Fri 10-Jul-20 12:08:06

@BabySleepTeacherUK I would love for her to still be asleep at 7 sad

I'll give it ago but are you saying that even if she wakes up at 5am I should put her to bed at 8-8.30? I don't know if she'll last until then

OP’s posts: |
2155User Fri 10-Jul-20 12:12:44

Totally normal. 6 friends of mine all had a baby alongside me in the space of 4 weeks, not a single one of our babies didn't go through this random 5am wake up between 8-11 months.
I dealt with it best by just acting as if it was a night feed, giving milk, and then just sitting in darkness awake/or asleep until 6:30am. Within 2 weeks DS realised I wasn't going to entertain getting up at that time.

MissSmiley Fri 10-Jul-20 12:18:05

My oldest used to be like this, he slept 12 hours but always woke up at 5.30-6am I just used to put him down earlier, even at 5.30pm once I remember, he was exhausted and I figured he didn't know what time it was

In my experience (with 5 kids) the early risers will give you no trouble at all when they're teenagers, they can get themselves up and out of the door no problems, it'll pay you back one day x

dancemom Fri 10-Jul-20 12:23:08

Google wake to sleep method

Basically you wake her an hour earlier, just lightly wake, for 3 morning in a row to reset her sleep pattern.

I used this several times with dd and it always worked

BabySleepTeacherUK Fri 10-Jul-20 12:43:39

I'll give it ago but are you saying that even if she wakes up at 5am I should put her to bed at 8-8.30? I don't know if she'll last until then

Yes, with two daytime naps in between.

On days when she wakes at 5.30am I would suggest:

5.30am wake, 7.00am get out of bed, if poss
(3h15 awake window, 1h30 if that in bed)
8.45am nap - 10.15am wake - 1h30 sleep
(3h 15 awake window)
1.30pm sleep - 3.30pm wake - 2h sleep
(5h awake window)
8.00 for 8.30pm bedtime

Which bit of the day do you think she won't make it through?

Fatted Fri 10-Jul-20 12:54:35

They get up that early at this age. Sorry. Even mine that slept through the night did.

You can try her with a bottle. She might need the extra. She might not. I would always at least try that with mine if they woke in the night. Sometimes you like a drink at night, sometimes you don't. Why would babies be different?

I'd recommend going to bed earlier too. Have your dinner earlier while she's awake and get yourself into bed for 9/10.

Where is dad in all of this? Take it in turns with him doing early starts, bedtimes and night feeds so at least one of gets some kind of break. So if you do the morning, he does bed time and then swap the next day.

It's not really until they are a year old that I started feeling like life was normal again.

bluesapphirestars Fri 10-Jul-20 13:23:41

I don’t know why people are posting things like ‘ds realises ...’

Op has said the baby is trying to go back to sleep. She isn’t waking up wanting cuddles or toys or anything, she’s just waking up, not through choice.

mumtobeinsept Fri 10-Jul-20 13:34:33

@BabySleepTeacherUK the last stretch to 8pm, she gets really tired coming up to 7pm so it'll be a struggle to keep her until 8pm.

Today she slept 9.40 for 50 mins after being awake for 4 hours. I'm going to take her up now and see whether she'll manage a 2 hour nap. Fingers crossed 🤞🏼

OP’s posts: |
mumtobeinsept Fri 10-Jul-20 14:06:07

@Fatted I do give her water when she wakes up but I haven't tried milk. I was a bit apposed to it because I though maybe then she'd wake up for milk... but she's waking up regardless so I will give it a go tonight.

DH does help out but once she's up we're both up because either she's crying or in bed with us thrashing around confused

OP’s posts: |
Notajogger Fri 10-Jul-20 18:04:32

Try an earlier bed time. Everything I've read suggests that and we tried it and it does help. Counterintuitive I know. We aim for 6.30 asleep.

Notajogger Fri 10-Jul-20 18:08:47

8.30 seems way too late, baby doesn't have the chance for the amount of sleep they're supposed to get if only getting to sleep then.
Plus 6.30 gives you your evening back and the chance for an early night! Please do try it for couple of weeks, it has been a lifesaver for us.

YouJustDoYou Fri 10-Jul-20 18:11:21

Sometimes there's simply.nothing you can do, because that's just the way they are.

SRK16 Fri 10-Jul-20 18:15:10

No advice, just here to empathise. My baby is nearly 10 months and has only JUST stopped waking every 2 hours during the night, I could cry with joy! He now wakes 1am and 5am (on average). The only way I get him to sleep longer in the morning is to bring him into bed with me, then he tends to doze off until about 6/6.30. Recently he slept until 6 in his own cot and it was amazing!
I agree it’s so hard not having much of an evening. I’m tending to go to bed 10/11 most nights, but once or twice a week go really early 8.30/9 just to get a proper chunk of sleep in.
I keep reminding myself it’s not going to be like this forever.. think how much they change month to month. But yes, it’s really tough. Especially when other people love to say how they have perfect sleepers! Ignore it!

chunkyrun Fri 10-Jul-20 18:17:29

You have my sympathy. My 3 year old has always been an early riser. Soon as the suns up. I let him sit and watch his tablet in my bed while I go back to sleep. Judge away but I've had years of 5am starts 🤷🏾‍♀️

SRK16 Fri 10-Jul-20 18:18:11

Not that it helps probably, but my baby is napping around 9 (depending on wake up time but I’d say on average a 6am start) until 10ish, then again at 1.30/2 until 3/3.30. Bedtime is 7ish. Obviously doesn’t always go to plan but seems to be working, and I do at least get some evening. As others have said, you could try shifting bedtime back a bit more.

orangejuicer Fri 10-Jul-20 18:20:40

Same here OP. DS 19mo wakes up between 5-5.30 without fail. Nap at 10-12, bed at 8, no matter what.

I'm working FT at home at the moment, DP is SAHD and we are both exhausted.

mumtobeinsept Fri 10-Jul-20 19:29:53

Thanks for all the tips. I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's just so annoying that every baby routine schedule I've seen are all based on 12 hours and suggesting baby sleeps 12 hours. I just kept thinking where am I going wrong!

Made some adjustments to her routine today. For her naps she had an hour at 9.30 then 2 hours at 1.30. I'm taking her up 30mins later than usual at 7.45 tonight for 8pm sleep. If she wakes up at 5 I'm going to give her a bottle and see how that goes.

I also stuffed bedsheets all around the blinds so her room is now pitch black.

Wish me luck! Xx

OP’s posts: |

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