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Message for bumbly

(33 Posts)
Tipex Fri 21-Sep-07 21:28:41

Bumbly, your thread on AIBU seems to have turned into a bit of a debate and I hope that isnt why you have disappeared. Just wanted to say that you have my utmost sympathy with your situation. I felt the same as you when DS1 was 9 weeks it was an absolute nightmare and I have never been lower in my life. He cried continually and its not whimpering is it its full on screaming and it drives you literally to the brink I know. I became utterly obsessed with getting him to sleep even though it was usually fruitless.

If you search my name there are some old threads from 2005 and you'll see how desperate I felt. people posted to me that it would get better and I often wondered if I would manage to hang on until it did. But it genuinely did get better and it will for you too. In the meantime try and get out the house when you can even if LO screams and try to see other people. Anyone. Can any family members or friends join you whilst you push screaming baby round the park etc? Its alot easier with company.

And when you see all your friends babies being angels and wonder what the hell you did wrong to deserve your baby, I promise you they will have their own traumas in the future. DS1 is an angel at 2.7 compared to friends kids who were good as babies so I think they all have their tough times. Its hell, but you can get through it with support. You are doing an incredible job with a difficult baby so bloody well done from me. hang on in there.

TheMadHouse Fri 21-Sep-07 21:33:29

well said

lucykate Fri 21-Sep-07 21:35:06

hopefully she has roped in her dp/dh to help out and is tucked up in bed resting. i think she's suffering with over tiredness and a touch of the baby blues.

Tipex Fri 21-Sep-07 21:39:34

its just so grim though isnt it and I feel so sorry for her. Lets hope indeed that she is resting and Mr Bumbly is planning on letting her have a lie in tomorrow whilst he takes screaming baby a walk!

uberalice Fri 21-Sep-07 21:43:34

Yes I agree. I was furious at some of the remarks on the other thread. I hope you haven't been put off, Bumbly. There are loads of people who really do care and you will find plenty of support here.

Caring for a newborn is a total nightmare. It really does get easier. Just think of it this way - every day that passes is a day closer to things settling down. And when they do, you really won't look back. Take care.

DeedeePickles Fri 21-Sep-07 21:55:00

Have also been watching other thread and thought a few of the comments very unhelpful.

It took me four years to have child no.2 after my experiences with child no.1. It was really hard work. No.1 is now an angel (most of the time wink and No.2 has been really easy, and the bad bits all seem such a distant memory.

It is worth it, Bumbly. Hang in there.

Tipex Fri 21-Sep-07 21:58:15

DDP I know what you mean I felt really scarred by my experience too and still shudder when I remember how I felt at times. It was the blackest time of my life. Its so lonely. I think its the relentlessness that makes it so hard to bear. I just hope bumbly knows that the vast majority of us have nothing but empathy. Im not sure there are any answers tho sometimes, other than to say accept all help and all chances of a break.

oooggs Fri 21-Sep-07 21:58:34

Bumbly - I am with you all they way. I didn't post on your other thread because of the comments, but I have done it, I did regret it and I am not proud to have done it but in sheer desperation and tiredness it happened.

It does get easier our twins are nearly now a delight smile

ChubbyScotsBurd Fri 21-Sep-07 22:14:22

Haven't seen other thread but want bumbly to know she has my total sympathy as someone with a fractious and wakeful 8wk old. It's the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm tired in ways I didn't know were possible, but have had great help from MN so would encourage bumbly to keep posting as it makes a massive difference having contact with people who really know what it's like.

oooggs Fri 21-Sep-07 22:18:24

I have just read your thread CSB and bumbly did post on it so she knows you are having it hard to smile thinking of you both (and your familes) smile

bumbly Sat 22-Sep-07 09:41:02

thank you so much - am actually rather touched

have taken step to distance myself for a few days from LO and leave him in hands of DH for weekend as I keep a distance watchful eye

just feel need a break as am not enjoying/handling/coping with the baby thing at all!

yes was hell on earth and i have reached rock bottonm

Tipex Sat 22-Sep-07 21:49:37

hang on in there bumbly. glad your DH is helping, can he take some time off work to be around in the week a bit? or have you anyone else you can ask to come over?

it will get better. dont be afraid to see your GP either, you need as much support as you can get. xxx

TotalChaos Sat 22-Sep-07 21:53:51

glad you are getting a bit of a break this weekend.

bumbly Mon 24-Sep-07 20:43:03

tipex never thanked you for this thread..unfort things have gone even worse and am now at a loss thinking of what to do next...

been trying things every day every hour and just feel so drained and lonely

hunkermunker Mon 24-Sep-07 20:44:06

Aw, Bumbly sad

Have you got a supportive HV/GP you can speak to? Do you think you might have PND?

LIZS Mon 24-Sep-07 20:46:02

co ? Do you get out apart from the HV and GP trips ?

bumbly Mon 24-Sep-07 20:47:13

every here thinks i have pnd -

fact:
i have got a baby that cries and never sleeps, and is always in pain

my hv and gp say it is all normal

fact: that would make anyone apprehensive

however doesnt mean it make you have pnd

i do not have pnd

hunkermunker Mon 24-Sep-07 20:49:09

I meant it kindly, Bumbly, honestly.

It's not something to be ashamed of, sweet.

I was worried for a new mum who was trying to distance herself from her baby sad I'm sorry if I upset you further though. It really wasn't my intention.

bumbly Mon 24-Sep-07 20:50:02

oh no i know you meant it kindly!!!

typing never comes with voice you intend!!

bumbly Mon 24-Sep-07 20:50:53

but you are right i am trying to distance myself for my sanity!!

LIZS Mon 24-Sep-07 20:54:28

bumbly, noone is out to label you when you are having such a hard time. Your baby is not easy for whatever reason but you may need some external input re: ways to cope which you have yet to find. New mums adjust differently to the inevitable changes in lifestyle and routine with a young baby even when their behaviour is more predictable and less stressful than your ds'. Some get pnd, the majority struggle through sleep deprivation and anxiety, a lucky few find it a breeze. PND is just one possibility as to why you may not be finding things as straightforward as you had hoped .

bumbly Mon 24-Sep-07 21:04:56

i find it hard because i am always stuck in one room in house no time to eat or go to loo as lo demands constant attention...being on computer is a chore in itself...

i see my baby constantly in pain

no other reason

am not tired as my old job involved long hours

simple - my baby is in severe pain and i dont know why and i cant help

no pnd no other mind problem

mmelody Mon 24-Sep-07 21:10:27

How about a homeopath? May be worth a shot. My friend swears by hers for all manner of the families ailments. I really do feel for you and hope your boy settles soon.

daisyandbabybootoo Mon 24-Sep-07 21:15:14

have you tried a cranial osteopath bumbly? a few of the mums on my PN thread got good results for colic and reflux. It was also suggested that someone's LO could have neck stiffness causing discomfort when feeding.

If you've exhausted all other avenues, it might be worth a try?

Take care of yourself though.x

LIZS Mon 24-Sep-07 21:15:55

At some point you have to just think sod it and carry on. Sititng at home focussing so much on his pain is not helpful unless you can change it. You not eating, going to the loo or taking him out for walks isn't going to do you or him any good. Have you thought any more about the cranial osteopathy ?

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