8wk old baby, I'm so tired I think I'm going to die

[ChubbyScotsBurd]

I posted a while back about my baby not sleeping.

Now he won't sleep all day, sometimes not even if he's carried. I bought a sling with money we can't really afford and he screamed in it. He wakes at 5ish and then aside from naps of maybe 15 minutes tops (in his bouncy chair or being carried) he doesn't sleep at all all day.

By the evening he's so tired he's panting and wide-eyed (looks like he's on speed or something) and then he starts this frantic need to suck, usually my boob. He sucks while screaming, sometimes screaming until he's sick. Once he screamed until he went stiff, then limp - I'm sure he made himself faint. He won't tolerate a dummy, even when introduced when he's settled. I have to go to bed with him when it starts (he'll only go down to sleep at night if he sucks to sleep) but it can take up to 4 hours to get him to sleep properly. I then have to try and move him up the bed so I can sleep myself, but this often wakes him all over again. He doesn't tend to sleep for much over an hour at a time anyway.

He's taking/taken every colic remedy going but this thing is simple tiredness. He must only be getting 6-8 hours in a 24hr period. He gets terrible wind through the day but I'm working on colief which seems to be helping, but it's early days. My big problem is it takes him so long to settle down I'm sure he's waking from hunger quite soon after.

Also, this is getting progressively worse - everything seems to be getting worse. I'm sure I'm losing it, and I'm losing patience with my poor baby who realy isn't to blame, he just doesn't know how to sleep. He USED to know, but he's awful now.

No idea what else to try, I'm not coping at all, not even a bit.

[charmkin]

will he go off in pram? walk him off and then come in door and leave him in pram.

also he may well be windy so burp him lots
he may be hungry, they go through spurts of eating more

oo take him to docs, just to make sure there is nothing wrong eg silent reflux

[BreeVanDerCampLGJ]

Sorry I can not think of anything but not want your post to go unnoticed.


Have you tried putting him to sleep with something you have been wearing. ?? So he has your scent ?

Was it a traumatic birth ?

[Clayhead]

Oh God, I remember this.

I don't know what to say to make you feel better except I've been there and survived.

ds and dd both had colic and it stopped at the 12 - 13 week mark (there one day, gone the next).

They were both very crying babies, absolute nightmares to settle and hardly slept at all.

It got gradually better, I think 8 weeks might be just about the worst part, from very hazy memory.

They are 4 and 5 now and gorgeous . They sleep far more now than they ever did as babies and go to bed on their own brilliantly (as babies, we co-slept).

You have my sympathy

[emkana]

I would take him to the GP tbh, or speak to the HV and make it very clear how much you are suffering

This definitely doesn't sound normal

[Rytzy]

hiya,


this sounds to me quite normal.

my baby wasn't much of a sleeper either- all settled a bit better towards 4 to 5 months.

Is he/she hungry? Wet? Wants a cuddle? I would go out and walking in his/her pram. That would always work with mine!

Perhaps you could ask a friend to help you somedays so you can have a bit of a sleep! It sounds to me as if you could do with a good one!

It will only get better! I promise!!!

[emkana]

Blimey do you guys really think this sounds normal? I really really don't think it does.

[funnypeculiar]

God, that does sound pretty rough, tbh. Ds was a pretty crap sleeper, but he defn had more sleep in the day than that - as you say, it sounds like he's just getting himself totally overtired & now can't sort himself back out again.
DS used to do exactly that - would just get more and more frantic til he finally past out, but then would sleep worse. Sorting out his daytime sleep (ie just getting him to have more) really helped. Personally, i'd start there (not least because there's more you can do in the daytime/you probably will be feeling a bit calmer than you do at 3am
What DOES get him off to sleep in the day? Buggy? Car? B/f & cuddle? I'd just focus for a few days on sorting him out with lots more daytime sleep to catch himself up...

Is he your first (ie, if needbe, can you sit on the sofa cuddling him for hours whilst he sleeps?

Personaly, I'd also think about talking to your GP/HV to check there's nothing else underlying this (eg silent reflux? think that causes problems when they're lying down?)

Much sympathy, and you sound like you're doing a fab job

[Wallace]

I hink you should go to the HV or GP. You could print out your post to show them exactly how you feel.

I really feel for you btw xxx

[Rytzy]

well sounds like "normal" to me because this is the kind of experience i had with my dd!

Come on guys, some kiddies are better to settle than others!

[emkana]

Why don't you ring cry-sis right now, they are still around right now (until 10 pm)

Rytzy, this does sound extreme though

[funnypeculiar]

cry-sis is a great idea, emkana
Let us know how you get on, ChubbyScotsBurd

[popsycal]

Oh my goodness. I think you need to make it clear to HV/GP just how things are. It may just be an 'extreme of normal' but it sounds dreadful.

Both mine wre really difficult babies and some of what you have posted ring true with me. Do you have someone supporting you at home?

Do you drive and have a car? Thank god mine would sleep in the car. I would drive around until they went off, park in McDonalds with burger and chips, stuff my face then sleep for half an hour.

[DirtyGertiefromnumber30]

have you heard of cranial osteopathy? ds was very similar at that age and was a different baby after treatment. Would highly recommend, especially if you had a traumatic birth (forcepts, ventouse etc)

www.cranial.org.uk/page3.html

[mammyjo]

You poor thing, I remember going through the same thing with ds (who is now 4). He refused to sleep day or night except when rocked or in the car. We ended up getting a baby swing for him and he settled beautifully in it. I know lots of people would not advocate their use but to me it was an absolute life saver. Dont know where you are, but if its near to me, you are welcome to have the swing to try.
Also, do speak to gp or hv for any advice they may be able to offer.

Have you got anyone who can come and take over from you for a bit? Just an hour off can make a big difference.

[mammyjo]

Good suggestion gertie! I forgot, ds had osteopathy too. Was a traumatic ventouse birth and he had terrible colic.

How are things now CSB?

[fizzbuzz]

Have just read this thread, and am suprised no one mentions the Baby Whisperer. She is GOD, about getting little babies to nap.

Dd was a non daytime napper, and the BW was FANTASTIC.

Soothe eg rock, stroke
Swaddle nice n tight
Ssshhh eg pat at a heartbeat rhythm saying sssh
Stay (for 20 minutes, until soundly asleep)

The website is good, but the book is great. It sorted my dd out, after 3 months of non stop screaming, and refusal to feed due to tiredness. HV just told me to "go with it"

HTH, cannot say how wonderful she is

[fizzbuzz]

Also persevere with dummy, dd hated it but now totally junkie....but that is another story

[Clayhead]

Sounds normal to me, just what mine were like.

One of the hardest things I found was that it wasn't normal to other people so I found it hard to talk to anyone in rl.

[chocoholic]

Ooh, I loved the Baby Whisperer.
My DH used to go out in the car for a round trip of the M25 when things got really bad (with the baby of course!!). Meant I could get some sleep.
Agree that, if you can , you should ask someone to help so you can at least get a few hours sleep. Things always seem better with just a bit of sleep.

[Beachcomber]

OMG you poor thing. I know how you feel and it is an absolute nightmare.

Both my babies were like this and there have been so many times when I just didn't know how I was going to carry on. Both of my children are dairy intolerant and this was a big part of their sleep problems for two reasons. Firstly the baby is in pain (wind, sore belly, bad digestion and possibly joint pain and headaches) so they cry and can't sleep. Secondly food intolerance/allergy can interfere in sleep patterns.

Do you think that there is any chance that this could be what is wrong with your baby?

If so you need to try taking all dairy foods out of your diet for at least three weeks. The protein in cow's milk passes into breastmilk and is very difficult for the baby to digest. Even if your baby does not have an intolerance, eliminating dairy foods can REALLY help a lot with wind and colic. Both my babies were transformed once I changed my diet.

Could be I'm barking up the wrong tree but it could be worth a try.

When my babies were crying all the time and not sleeping a lot of people told me that it was normal that some babies just cry, etc, etc. I think this is a load of tosh. Babies who cry a lot are crying for a reason.

Also would you consider taking your baby to an osteopath (more expense but can really help)? What was the birth like?

This may not be the answer to your problem but might be a place to start. I thought I would go mad with tiredness and worry and so wished that someone had been able to help me. I hope something helps for you.

Good luck and much sympathy from someone who understands how hard it is.

[DirtyGertiefromnumber30]

ha, had one of those rocky chairs too mj! and used to drive ds (now 4) round for HOURS to get him to sleep! did your ds respond well to osteopathy? im in s wales too btw!

[SachaF]

You mention wind. I eventually found out that ds has a wheat intolerance - he wasn't as bad as your ds but only slept 60-90 minutes at a time at night - colic remedies didn't seem to help. Is there any history of food problems in either yours or you ds's family?
When I fed him at night I took up to an hour and a half over it - feed, wind, lie him on mat (usually crying), let him wriggle his legs for a good 10 minutes with his nappy off (pumping legs for him didn't seem to work), then feed, wind, settle. If he woke only 1 hour later ds would blame me that I hadn't given him enough nappy off time! It was definately wind that seemed to be waking him up.
Might help, might be completely off the subject! It was hard staying up for that long but eventually I went to bed at midnight, dealt with him twice in night before pushing dh out of bed and then ds was awake at 7.
It does get better!!!!

[SachaF]

Bc, Agree! I am dairy intolerant myself and now have a wheat free diet, it's hard but worth it!

[funnypeculiar]

NO Cry Sleep Soln (e`lizabeth Pantley) is fab too - not least becuase there are lots of people having a worse time with even more dreadful sleepers (well, that helped me anyway

[ChubbyScotsBurd]

Thank you all. Sometimes just knowing people have been through it really helps.

I've seen a GP (wholly useless) because he's continually uncomfortable/windy/miserable. She was a waste of time. HV (well, it's actually nursery nurses who came to weigh him, saw HV initially but not since) sympathise but not bothered because he'll grow out of it.

The colief seemed to be helping him be more cheerful through the day but today he's whinged all day again. I wind him really thoroughly and do baby massage to get the farts going. He will eventually sleep in car/pram but wakens immediately when the movement stops. Basically he'll sleep but only if we're doing something which means I can't! We've tried putting him to sleep amongst used breast pads for scent, tried lavender baths (he loves the bath but is often worse when he wakes), feeding as much as he wants, basically everything under the sun. I've got the number for an osteopath who does babies but he was a caesarean birth so I don't know if it will help ... willing to try though, will phone her tomorrow.

Thankfully OH is great but he works so I try to get LO settled ish before he goes to bed so he gets some sleep. If we have a bad (lots of crying) night I go to the spare room, but once the evening mania is over apart from taking forever to settle I can often get LO back to sleep myself through the night without him getting so worked up.

It's just coming to me that I'm really not coping as well as I have been until now, perhaps because everything's getting worse all the time I'm starting to feel like it will never end. Also it makes me scared to trust any stories that it will end in a few weeks because I couldn't deal with getting my hopes up that life will ever be better than this. Have kind of abandoned hope with medics, nobody gives a toss because I didn't score bad on the PND questionnaire so obviously everything's rosy! Maybe the CO will help. Crysis seem lovely but I went through their checklist and I've done EVERYTHING on it, I could have written it!

Just good to know other people have survived. Thank god for OH, he's doing a stint now, would be lost without him.