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Tiredness

(36 Posts)
LiamsMum Wed 11-Sep-02 03:06:22

Just wondering if anyone else out there seems to feel perpetually tired?!! Since I had ds, I don't seem to be able to sleep for as long as I used to, and I find that quite often I feel like lying down during the day. He's 26 months old now and is a good sleeper, generally he sleeps from 8.00pm - 7.00am and never wakes up through the night, so I don't know why I am always tired. Perhaps it's just the stress of having a toddler around and being an 'older' mum. Does anyone else feel as though they never get enough sleep?

sobernow Wed 11-Sep-02 03:26:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

susanmt Wed 11-Sep-02 07:36:19

Yes, Liamsmum! I have a toddler (31 months) and a baby (7 months) who both sleep from 8 - 7, and yet I can often find myself pacing the house in the wee hours, and then wanting to sleep through the day. I just don't know what to do about it!

Ghosty Wed 11-Sep-02 08:45:09

I am tired too - of course it doesn't help now I am totally addicted to Mumsnet and keep going on line just as I am going to bed to see what everyone is chatting about and end up joining in and going to bed past midnight (this morning DS woke up at 4.30 and wouldn't go back to sleep - a a whopping 4 1/2 hour was had last night!).......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Azzie Wed 11-Sep-02 08:50:36

LiamsMum, I have a 4 y.o. and a 2 y.o. who both sleep very well now, but I still seem to be tired most of the time. I think it is a combination of things: I don't sleep as soundly as I used to (being a Mum I seem to wake at every little sound the children make, even if it's only muttering in their sleep); I don't get so much 'downtime' during the day (as soon as I sit down to have a drink, read etc the kids want me to do something); and I don't get anything like as much exercise as I used to (regular aerobic exercise is supposed to help you sleep better). Sobernow is right - it's the mummy's curse .

LiamsMum Wed 11-Sep-02 09:40:11

Glad it's not just me - it's a horrible feeling isn't it?? I miss the days when I used to go to bed late at night, and knew that I could sleep in the next day... I also think that I find it harder to relax now, since ds came along.

mears Wed 11-Sep-02 12:35:33

I went back to bed this morning and am just up. There's nothing wrong with getting extra sleep when you can. I didn't do enough of that when my kiddies were preschool. Spent too much time at toddlers and coffees with friends when we all could have been having a snooze by the telly.
The moral is, when they are sleeping, you should sleep too. Forget the housework, it will still be there tomorrow, and the next day and the next.....

ionesmum Wed 11-Sep-02 13:07:45

All I know is that I am shattered. I've never felt so tired in my life.

buttercup Wed 11-Sep-02 13:23:04

I am working at home today and have spent all day battling the desire to completely collapse with exhaustion and take myself off to bed. DS usually wakes up at 5.30am and has just been ill so is also waking in the night as well at the moment. I find the 'anticipation' of night-waking a complete killer. I just cannot relax in bed. Last night slept about 4 hours in all. Made worse by the fact that DP (who shares night times/early morning 50%) crashes out the second he goes to bed!! The only way I can describe how I feel is WIRED. Sleep deprivation has become my complete pre-occupation, guarenteed to give you a bad nights sleep!

LiamsMum Thu 12-Sep-02 03:50:02

Buttercup I know what you mean about being pre-occupied with sleep and the anticipation of being woken up through the night, I went through that in the first few months after ds was born. I was so wound up that I couldn't sleep and sometimes would lie awake waiting for him to cry. I'm so glad I'm past that 'baby' stage now, I honestly don't think I could do it again. Perhaps if I'd had ds when I was a lot younger, I might have been a bit more laid back, but who knows. I just didn't cope with the lack of sleep too well. Hope things get better for you soon.

clary Thu 12-Sep-02 12:31:04

I sympathise with everyone suffering from feeling tired. I think it's a reminder to take care of yourself, as well as your child(ren). After all if you are not feeling good that will not help anyone. i do think it's easy for busy mums, whether working or at home (which I still maintain is harder work!) to forget about themselves with the demands of children, partner, friends etc. But YOU are imortant. Liamsmum, have you tried looking carefully at what you eat and drink? Are you getting enough proper energy-giving meals? I've also found that since cutting down on alcohol and coffee and upping my water consumption, I have a lot more energy. Sorry, I know you didn't ask for advice but perhaps this will help. In sympathy for all those pacing the living room at 2am - i've been there too.

kkgirl Thu 12-Sep-02 18:14:41

Sounds like you all need to learn to relax, easier said than done, I know!!!!!!

How about this meditation technique I tried the other night.

I propped myself up in bed on four pillows so that I was sitting up. You think about the dawn breaking and the colours, the yellow, aqua etc and then you concentrate on those colours and then you think about the sun going down, the orange and the clouds etc. I also thought about the beach, the sea and the sand etc, not really the sounds but the colours.
It must have been good because I relaxed so much I fell asleep and was woken up by my husband coming up to bed!!!!!!
I have found aromatherapy oils very helpful for relaxing and helping relieve tiredness

Bron Thu 12-Sep-02 21:54:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lilly72 Fri 13-Sep-02 09:34:27

Sleep sleep sleep sleep..what a pre-occupation it becomes..my daughter sleeps from 7 til 6.30 but I feel cheated of sleep every morning. I listen longingly to my friends who are childless as they talk of waking at midday on Sundays and laying about. There time will come! he he.
Also I have the anticipation of her not sleeping through the night..due to teething etc and find it hard to completely 'fall' asleep. If the occasion arises in the day when she has a nap..9 times out of 10 I dose off on the setee but wake feeling even crankier, with a stiff neck, furry mouth and guilt ridden that the dinner has not been prepared for my hardworking partner! Oh well....

PamT Fri 13-Sep-02 10:16:58

My local women's group ran a self-hypnosis class where we were taught to relax totally and teach our minds to think positive thoughts. We were told that a short session of hypnosis can be as refreshing to the body as an hour's sleep and with practice could be done whenever and wherever. Practising total relaxation also helps to get better sleep when you do drift off so that you feel better when you wake. I found my first experience of self hypnosis quite frightening because of the depth of relaxation but it is certainly very beneficial and worth trying.

calcium Wed 18-Sep-02 21:30:51

I can't believe how tired I am, my dd is nearly 4 months and wakes 3-4 times a night so I have had maximum of a 3 hour stretch sleep a night I am shattered!! I hope it improves as going to bed around 9 - 9.30pm of an evening is becoming very sad and not doing wonders for my relationship either. If I get to bed by 10pm I panic as I know dd will be waking soon and I have missed my chance for a quick hour or two's sleep. All I can think about is sleep which in turn stops me from sleeping as I am so tired worrying about not getting enough sleep!!

Lindy Wed 18-Sep-02 22:08:55

Liamsmum - I so agree with you, my DS is 18 months and I am just constantly exhausted - I feel 'guilty' for being tired, he is actually a good sleeper (11 hours at night plus usually a 2-3 hour sleep in the afternoon !!)so I have loads of time to relax in - I don't go to work, I have an extremely 'comfortable' lifestyle, exercise regularly, eat well, probably do drink too much!! I think it could be age, I am 44 - how old are you? When I see younger mums with two or more children, full time job etc etc ........ full of energy and enjoying a wild social life - how do they do it? It's past my usual bedtime already!

sb34 Wed 18-Sep-02 22:33:36

Message withdrawn

LiamsMum Thu 19-Sep-02 08:20:30

Lindy I've just turned 37. I keep wondering whether I would have been this tired if I'd had ds about 10 years ago. My brother & SIL got married at 21 and started their family at 22, they had 3 kids quite close together. I think they found it difficult but then again they had youth on their side!! Now their kids are teenagers and they are virtually the same age as me (they're both 38).
Calcium... I know all about the sleep pre-occupation. I used to HATE going to bed between 8.30 - 9.00pm, but it was the only way I could get some rest. I felt like dh & I were living separate lives for a while there. The baby stage will pass soon Calcium & you'll be able to start feeling more normal again.

Lindy Thu 19-Sep-02 22:42:51

Liamsmum - you sound like a youngster to me!!! No offence meant. I know what you mean about different set ups - my in-laws (just a little younger than me) have 21 & 19 year olds!

I don't know if this might help but I often fall into bed at 9.30ish, just exhausted, then wake in the early hours - last night I forced myself to stay up until midnight (having been away from Mumsnet there was loads to catch up on), then had a relaxing bath & managed to sleep much better .... of course it might have been to do with DH being away and having the bed to myself!

LiamsMum Mon 21-Oct-02 03:55:26

Have been wondering about this topic again. I have just had a very tiring week, a few late nights in a row and all of sudden ds is deciding to wake up at 6.30am instead of his usual 7.30am (which is a killer by the way - 1 hour seems to make a world of difference to me). I was at a dinner on Saturday night and was chatting to a few other mums, who told me that they get up at about 5.00am every morning because of their wonderful offspring . I just couldn't believe how they manage to get through every day. DS went to my mother's today so I took the opportunity to have a lie down, and slept soundly for over an hour... I can't imagine how I would even function if I was getting up at 5 o'clock every morning. This is certainly a part of child rearing that you don't seem to get a great deal of warning about!! I guess I never expected to feel so tired, and I only have one child. How is everyone else getting along...?

Clarinet60 Mon 21-Oct-02 10:52:51

I agree, I couldn't do the 5am thing. Neither of mine have ever decided to get up for good much before 8, thank goodness. (ds2 wakes for feeding at 5, but goes back to sleep).

kkgirl Mon 21-Oct-02 16:29:31

I don't have the problem with early waking, but mine 8 1/2 and 2 x 6 won't get to sleep at night, and are still sometimes up past 10. I can't seem to settle them earlier and they want to sleep in together which just causes chaos.

Lindy Mon 21-Oct-02 23:01:48

I'm still knackered - today I went to a shopping centre (big adventure as we live in the middle of nowhere) - 180 mile round trip just to spend a few £s at Ikea!! Got home at 6.30pm - DS's supper, bath, bed - DH out late at work - 'phoned me & said 'I suppose you are just having a quiet night in' - yes, it is a night in, but hanging out washing, changing beds (we've visitors on four consequetive weekends), a week's ironing (still untouched at 11pm, mumsnet more interesting!), four 'phone calls to return, the newspaper to read, a friend turning up unannounced........, no housework done for a week, I feel pathetic that all this gets on top of me when I don't even have to get up to go to work in the morning!!

Clarinet60 Mon 21-Oct-02 23:14:53

I feel the same, Lindy. There's a mountain of washing, the kitchen is a tip, everything is everywhere and I haven't the energy to tackle it until I've slept. (My typing fingers seem to work OK though ... )

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