Need help! 6 month old reliant on dummy!

[Tashh13]

First time mummy here in desperate need of advice! I'll appreciate anything!
I have a little boy who has just turned 6 months. He is EBF and is being weaned onto solids which is going really well, pretty much 3 meals a day and he's loving it!
I'm a single parent and I live at home with my parents.
He has always had problems with his sleep, he always fought it. Up until around 2 and a half/3 months he could give me 4/5 hours at night, but he would still fight going to sleep so I gave him a dummy. Worse thing I ever did, major regrets.
Then he hit the 4 month regression at 3 and a half months.
My Dad does a high risk job so needs his sleep, so I took advantage of the dummy to help my Dad get sleep but now I'm seriously suffering for it 😪 I haven't had a nights sleep where I get more than an hour or 2 together for 3 months, and then obviously the newborn cluster feeding days so I've probably had 1 ok month of sleep when he was 2 months old I'd say and it's really taking it's toll on me now.
He is 100% reliant on the dummy to full asleep, and I feel like a failure every time I put him for a nap and to bed, I feel like I just plug him in to fall to sleep. I cry at every nap and bedtime. But I'm in such a rut now, I don't know how to get out, if he wakes from any sleep he will look around etc, but the second I put the dummy in he's out for the count.
He wakes me between 8-12 times a night and all night long I put the dummy in and he goes right back off. I know because this is the only way he knows how to sleep now, so when connecting cycles he needs the crutch to fall back to sleep.
He gets a good 3ish hours of sleep during the day across 2/3 naps. And he normally wakes at 5/6am 😭 and goes to bed between 7/8pm.
I really want him to be able to self settle for his and my sake.
But I must admit at 6 months I still don't really know how to comfort him. He is a beautiful happy boy, but quite a difficult baby (my mum has had 3 children and sometimes she finds it hard trying to figure him out), my mum calls him Baby Einstein because she thinks he's too clever, for instance, bored of all toys within a minute, so running on empty trying to keep him occupied is really hard.
I know every baby is different but everyday feels like a battle with him. He has never fallen to sleep anywhere but his crib (I know this is a good thing, but I get so worried going out because if I'm at someones house and he's due a nap, I can't get him to sleep), he will nap in the car or pram.
It's also really hard as where he is breastfed, once he is finished feeding, I can tell he uses me for comfort which is totally fine, but I can't sit attached all day as his dummy 😂. When I take him away he sometimes whines, so I give him the dummy. So I find it really difficult, I want to get rid of the dummy but at the same time it's a comfort for him.
He is hard to comfort too. I still don't know how to comfort him, I try rubbing his head, his face, holding his hand, but all he tries to do is is to grab at my hands which is so frustrating, bless him.
I tried the pick up put down method for all of 20 minutes the other day when I tried to not give him the dummy at bedtime. He doesn't like to be cradled like a newborn so I had to pick him up upright, but the first 2 times I picked him up, he calmed and I laid him back down. But the third time I picked him up he would not calm down, was just crying and crying so I gave him dummy.
I know you need to be consistent and persevere but it was scary as I just didn't know how long he would cry for 😪
I don't know if it probably wound him up picking him up as he might think 'oh I'm getting up'. Would anyone have any other/better suggestions of methods I could use, I am absolutely losing my marbles 😭 and need sleep!
Apologies for how long that was!! Thank you in advance! X

[Tootyfilou]

Honestly, don’t worry, he is a tiny baby, I had a dummy until I was nearly 3 and it neither stopped my speech ( very early talker) and I have beautiful teeth. Don’t stress over this, its just a phase. As long as he is feeding well and you are both getting sleep its absolutely fine!

[Tashh13]

Forgot to add we have a good bedtime routine, bath, feed, story and he does stay in his cot all night. And I feed him once or twice a night, however the last 2 nights I haven't had to feed him until he wakes up as he has fallen back to sleep each time I put the dummy in, if he keeps spitting it out that's when I know to feed him 😊

[Noneyerbuisness11234]

Watching with interest I have a nearly 11 month old who has done the same from 3 months I'm up every hour to put his dummy bk in I do bath bottle bed by 7:30 and we get up at 6am

[TerribleCustomerCervix]

You’re being really hard on yourself.

It’s ok to use a dummy. Yes, some people can be judgemental but honestly the first year is about just surviving, so whatever gets you the most sleep is fine! It’s a dummy, not crack.

I’ve found them particularly useful for teething as well as when they’ve had a minor knock or bump and a cuddle from mammy just isn’t cutting it.

Once they start being able to find and put the dummy back in their mouths themselves overnight it makes a HUGE difference.

[Tashh13]

Thanks for your reply. I know I'm being hard on myself, really hard when you feel like you made a bad decision.
That's the thing, the dummy is making us both have no sleep, as when it falls out every 45mins or so during the night and he wakes for it, I have to put it back in 🤪
Such a hard situation.
Thanks again.

[jesslambo88]

Hi Hun have u tried pulling his dummy out when he's gone to sleep?? Also have u tried some white noise?? U can get the white noise on ur phone on an app...have u tried weaning him onto a bottle and expressing so he's not attached to ur boob for comfort...I wouldn't worry to much as he's only 6 months but I get where ur coming from xx

[user1493494961]

Carry on with the dummy, he's only little. At some point he will be able to put it back in himself.

[Oly4]

He may sleep this badly without the dummy! None of mine have slept before they were 2. Personally I wouldn’t get stressed. If it wasn’t the dummy he would probably only get back to sleep if you breastfed him back to sleep.
He is tiny. In my experience, they just don’t sleep at this age and it’s exhausting.
But it does pass I promise. Try not to have many expectations before he’s 1. They just don’t follow rules at this age. Hang in there. It does get better on its own

[Sparrowlegs248]

Babies need comfort too sleep, the dummy is providing it. Before too long hell either keep it in, or find it himself, or just stop waking when it falls out.

I was anti dummy with dc1. Lived to regret that. Dc2 had one, for sleep only, and voluntarily gave it up at about 2 yrs 8 months. I really wouldn't fret about it.