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When is it ok to put baby in own room

26 replies

Cherry85 · 25/02/2020 00:33

My DS is one month old but sounds like a farm yard full of snotty animals sleeping at night.

He is sleeping 3-4 hours at a stretch hut thanks to the grunting/snorting etc I hardly sleep.

What are the thoughts on putting a baby in their own room with a baby monitor...when is it ok to do?

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GrumpyHoonMain · 25/02/2020 00:36

After 6-9 months when the risk of cot death reduces. Baby Monitors have a 20s delay usually if you use a sensor mat. So by the time you run over it could be too late. Whereas if they are next to you and breathing loudly you can tell if they stop - I have needed to nudge DS a few times when I think his breathing has stopped.

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MsPavlichenko · 25/02/2020 00:39

Surely you'll still hear him through the monitor?

Up to you but I found it easier to adapt to my DC re feeding, noises etc. They are both in their twenties right enough!

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Megan2018 · 25/02/2020 00:41

Not before 6 months

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Grandmi · 25/02/2020 00:42

Whenever you feel comfortable about it. TBH my children went to their rooms at about10weeks and I have absolutely no regrets !! Use a baby monitor,sleep and relax!!

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Megan2018 · 25/02/2020 00:46

A baby monitor doesn’t prevent SIDS. Plenty of people do move babies before 6 months and they don’t die-but it is not a risk I’d take.

The safe sleep guidelines exist for a reason, all sleep day and night should be in the same room as an adult until at least 6 months.

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Heartofglass12345 · 25/02/2020 14:14

I wouldn't risk it before 6 months. The snorting does stop eventually lol

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Sausagepants · 25/02/2020 14:35

Our bedroom wasn't big enough for a cot / crib once DD had outgrown her Moses basket so she was in her own room at about 6 weeks (with a baby monitor). We all slept better as I wasn't waking with every tiny grunt.

We had moved house by the time we had our second child and she was in with us for the full 6 months.

Needs must sometimes and it's not always possible to follow the best possible advice.

If you are worried about SIDS, make sure nobody in your household smokes. Dummies also may help.

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Jellycatfox · 25/02/2020 14:43

From 6 months.
It is not only about what you can see or hear on the monitor, being in the same room for 6 months reduces the SIDS risk. A monitor doesn’t.
All the “I moved by baby at 2 months and they now healthy teens” is not more relevant than to say you smoked 400 cigarettes a day and can run a marathon. All anecdotal.
You can make your own decision OP but if you ask, 6 months minimum

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Littlejayx · 25/02/2020 14:45

6 months at the least!

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Tatum1234 · 25/02/2020 14:46

6 months minimum

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MrsTerryPratchett · 25/02/2020 14:47

Surely you'll still hear him through the monitor?

That's not the point. Your breathing regulates theirs. It's not about hearing them.

SIDS is fairly rare and you'll probably be fine, which is why there is so much anecdata from people whose babies are 'fine'. Doesn't mean it's the best idea.

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limpingparrot · 25/02/2020 14:50

I started wearing earplugs and it improved my sleep massively. You can still hear things but it takes the edge off enough to sleep for me.

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FluffMagnet · 25/02/2020 15:09

Speak to your HV. I did as I was exactly the same as you - not sleeping a wink during the night and suffering massively. I weighed up that it was safer that I actually slept and wasn't a danger on the road (we are very rural- not driving simply wasn't an option if I didnt want to starve or develop depression from isolation), and looked into all the safe sleeping guidance - people seem to zoom in on the room sharing but pay no attention to all the other guidance, such as having a fan to move air, not having smokers in the household, using dummies and white noise machines to mimic my breathing. The thing is, whilst there are stats, it is clearly advertised that the experts don't know why these things seem to lower the risk (the risks are minuscule anyway and we all take plenty of risks in daily life). The stopped breathing bit is a bit ridiculous too - some people sleep so heavily that they would never notice if a baby stopped breathing. My grandmother sleeps like the dead and claims to this day that my aunt and mum slept through from birth - clearly they didn't but she just slept through their crying. My HV was completely fine with me moving the baby next door so we would stop waking each other and be happy.

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mynameiscalypso · 25/02/2020 15:10

Like everything, you have to weigh up the risks. The least risky place for a baby to sleep is in their own cot but in your room. For us, there is no downside to this. DS is noisy but if he was noisy in his own room, I'd be up and down just as often and would have to go into another room to check he was okay rather than just turning over and then going back to sleep. Other people will make their own choices but I don't really see the benefit of moving the baby unless you really have to. DS is 6 months+ now and we have no plans to move him anytime soon as it's so much easier to have him in arm's reach. I don't really understand why people move babies earlier leaving aside the whole SIDS thing because surely it's much easier to have them close to you when they still wake up during the night?

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Bitofeverything · 25/02/2020 15:13

Earlier than recommended, but not by much. She slept a million times better (as did we) the moment she was out of the room. We kept both doors open, so could hear everything, just not every snuffle. We don’t have any risk factors (eg neither smoke, she was a good weight at birth etc)

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Sewingbea · 25/02/2020 15:14

Six months. Research at basisonline.org.uk or at the lullaby trust website to explain why.

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DesLynamsMoustache · 25/02/2020 15:16

I found that the grunty newborn stage didn't last that long and she started being a lot quieter when sleeping. We started putting her to bed and coming back downstairs for a couple of hours when she was about four months and then she was in her own room gradually from six months.

The 'your breathing regulating theirs' thing is just a theory AFAIK. It wouldn't have worked for us anyway as we had white noise on all night and I was the other side of a super king bed from
DD's cot (and I don't generally breathe like Darth Vader) so no way was she hearing my breathing 🤷🏻‍♀️ The theory about co2 or whatever is probably more feasible, but no one really knows why SIDs rates are lower for room sharers and it could just be that people who put their children in other rooms so young are less likely to be breastfeeding or more likely to engage in unsafe sleep practices generally.

I wouldn't have been very comfortable with her being in another room so young anyway, especially as it would have made night-wakings and feeding more disruptive.

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DesLynamsMoustache · 25/02/2020 15:22

Just out of interest, does anyone have any links to the 'your breathing regulates theirs' stuff? I've only ever seen it on Mumsnet and can't find any actual data on it. The closest thing I've found is a study about bed-sharing and increasing co2 levels, but that doesn't translate to room-sharing as it relies on pockets of CO2 between mother and baby that you won't get in a reasonably well-ventilated bedroom when sleeping apart.

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Moonshine160 · 25/02/2020 18:30

I wouldn’t take the risk before 6 months personally. I was in a similar situation, my DS was grunting all night but it was a phase that passed. On some nights when it was particularly bad I would sleep with one earplug in!

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Pipandmum · 25/02/2020 18:44

There was no six months in your bedroom recommendation when I had my babies. Does everyone go to bed at 7pm with their babies now? Mine slept in their own room from the day they came home. I had a baby monitor, but that was mainly to hear if they cried as their bedroom was two floors above living room.

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SleepingStandingUp · 25/02/2020 18:49

Does everyone go to bed at 7pm with their babies now
No, babies sleep downstairs until we go uo

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StealthMama · 25/02/2020 19:08

@Pipandmum and as I recently explained to my own mother, the fact that your babies were fine means that someone else's weren't.

It's not a risk I'd take. No amount of sleep is worth the risk, and your only a month in, the grunting stops, they change all the time and you need to know what's normal or not for your baby.

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missanony · 25/02/2020 19:11

Try earplugs. You’ll hear the crying for food but not all the other stuff.

I think I hacked about 4 months or so

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Bringringbring12 · 25/02/2020 19:14

6 months first
2 weeks second
The grunting!

In a flat so close by, used angel care breathing monitor and video cam. Felt very comfortable and.... we will slept!

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Cherry85 · 26/02/2020 00:37

Oh my goodness, have just tried him in a love to swaddle thing and he has been asleep silently for an hour!!!!!! I am in shock..... please god let it continue!!

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