co-sleeping/single parent/?cot/a few issues(9 Posts)
Way back in April, when my daughter was having her baby, I got lots of support for her from this group. She's a fab mum (22, single parent, temporarily withdrawn from uni) and has lots of support. She has bf on demand since Oli was born and he has generally slept with her. He wakes every 2 hours or so and she just latches him on and they both drift off again. Great! Except he's just learned to roll over and she said he was 'on the move' in bed last night. Now, if she had a partner this wouldn't be a problem as Oli could snuggle between them. However, it's just her and her bed has a weird wooden ledge around it which means it doesn't fit snug up against a wall.
There are 2 issues. 1. ensuring the boy doesn't nose dive onto the floor, via the wooden ledge (bump! bump! waaah!) and 2. trying to get him to sleep in a cot - he's disinclined to do this and loves to snuggle up with his mummy - his mummy however, would quite like the bed all to herself now and again.
All ideas and comments welcomed.
You can get bed guards from places like mothercare and Agros, that attach to the bed, and are designed to prevent older kids from falling out.
These might do what your daughter wants.
However, if she'd rather he was in the cot, then she should go for it, as generally, the sooner you start, the easier it is.
What does he do in the daytime? I'd start by using the cot for daytime naps, and using something like the shush pat technique to help him settle.
Once he's happy in there in there for naps, she could try him at night time.
He'll object at first, esp. as he's used to feeding through the night, but if she's consistent and she really wants it to work, then it will be fine.
He doesn't need to feed every 2 hours through the night now.
HTH - Good Luck to your daughter - it sounds like she's doing a great job!
You can buy a "wall" that you fix between the mattress and the bed base to stop him falling out of bed. Try any good baby shop.
Thank you both - very helpful. I'm researching the bed guards as I think even when he's happily in a cot there may be times when she'll bring him into bed.
He certainly doesn't need feeding every 2 hours, but I think he stirs and likes the comfort (his mummy was a bit the same, as I recall). He's getting quite fond of his thumb and I think that may be helpful in settling him before long. He's a happy wee thing, not at all fractious, but loves to suckle LOTS!
4 months is still very wee. In fact, he is currently in the period of time when statistically cot death risk is at its highest so it is possible that this is the time when co-sleeping would actually be more beneficial to him. Also, babies who continue to bf at night tend to bf for longer (is this something your dd hopes to do?).
I can understand that she may want some time in bed by herself too. I found that i would put my dd to sleep (by feeding) leave her in her cot and when she was just stirring, to just feed her straight back to sleep if i was not ready for bed. Alternatively, if it is in the middle of the night, i would then get up and bring her to bed with me then and spend the rest of the night together.
BTW, 4 months is when Elizabeth Pantley starts to use the tips in her book 'the no-cry sleep solution' maybe you can buy your daughter a copy of this book? It shows gentle ways to help babies go longer between wakings (and even thru the night.)
When dd got very active in bed, we bought the BabyDan Universal Bed Guard (I think it's called). Her bed sounds like mine and it worked on our big bed and on dd's own bed now that she wants to spend some nights in her own bed. A transition she is making for herself.
Thank you kiskidee. Yes, my daughter intends to breastfeed for at least 12 months. 'Wee' doesn't really describe this gorgeous squidgy 19.5lb of delight! I shall pass on your wise words to his mummy - and lok at the bed guard too.
Many many thanks x
The other thing is to get a cot and have it up against the side of the bed which her ds sleeps on. That should stop him falling out and she can then ease the transition into his own cot by being able to reach out and reassure him easily, rather than him being kicked out into his own room. That said, we had no problems moving ds out into his own room at 4 months, although repeating the process at 18 months is proving challenging!!
oh yes, a cot with a drop down side, they call them sidecar, is another possibility.
Problem with sidecar is that my daughter's bed has this weird wooden ledge round it - it sticks out at 90 degrees to the mattress and in fact the mattress sits just below its inner edge (am I explaining this at all clearly?). This may also make it tricky to attach a bed guard. I suppose whe could dismantle the bed and put the mattress on the floor, thus removing the problem (at least till he starts crawling!.
I used to have her in my bed and just fed her from the side which was in the middle - as she is in the bed without a partner this doesn't help. (Probably too much information, but as a result of this I have one breast considerably larger than the other!)
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