10 week old sleep problems

[Casca87]

Hi everyone, first time mom and desperate for some help. 10 week old babe in good routine for daytime naps - swaddled, sleeps in bassinet, sound machine, pacifier, able to self-settle quite well. He manages two naps (morning and midday) well, late afternoon more difficult. Evening nap can be a challenge, but not always. Real problem is this: the past week settling him down for the night has become a nightmare. I watch for his sleepy cues and have moved bedtime forward to 6.00 to meet them to try to avoid putting him down over-tired. He’s definitely getting tired when we start evening routine. He’s becoming so fussy so quickly, even though he’s fed, clean, relaxed when I put him down, and then hysterical. I am cycling through every kind of intervention from shushing him, turning up sound machine, replacing his pacifier, putting my hand on his chest, rocking him gently, picking him up, eventually turning to putting him on the breast again even when I know he’s not hungry. That often works and he might get dozy, but I as soon as I put him down he’s going nuts again. And the breastfeeding isn’t calming him every time like it would during the day or even as it would have just a few weeks ago. I am losing my mind, it’s taking over our evenings as my husband and I take it in turns trying to comfort him. This goes on and on until midnight, 1am, 2am... Have also tried leaving him for short periods (a couple of min tops) to see if he can settle himself but he’s too worked up - goes from nought to 100 in a minute, and I feel like he’s too small to let him cry it out. I’m sure he’s not sick - no temperature, no appetite issues, happy and calm all during the day. It’s not gas, that was a problem a few weeks back and it passed. Any thoughts would be very welcome. Feeling so fraught and desperate this week, not to mention exhausted.

[Emma198]

A ten week old isn't able to settle himself and shouldn't be expected to.

Have you read about the 4th trimester?

I know it's hard and exhausting and it's good that the two of you are sharing the load, but your baby is still so little.

[DPotter]

You're not doing anything wrong and there's nothing wrong with your son.
He's just 10 weeks old and adjusting to the world.
Sometimes all they need is to be held and all you need is to sleep - I'm sorry, that's just how it is.
You've tried everything and I agree he's too young to let him cry it out by himself. The only 2 things I can suggest (and really scrapping the bottom of the barrel here) is to try swaddling him. Some babies just like that tucked up, held sensation. Doesn't have to be with a blanket, can use a sheet so he doesn't get too hot. And the other things is to drop the sound machine - simply on the basis that you've tried everything else.
Babies go through these phases and they soon pass although when you're in the middle of it, it feels like hell. I believe it isn't always possible to get a baby into an evening routine until they are a little older than 10 weeks. He is still in the '4th Trimester' when he is changing so fast.
Hang on in there!

[Newmumma83]

I wish I had advise but you have my sympathies this was my son from birth up-to about 16 weeks ... sadly sounds like you had a taste of normality to have it taken away

His bed time was later too about 10pm and it just slowly reduced to 6-7pm now at 1 year old ..you may need try for a late afternoon e nap and then A slightly later bed time for a while?

Glad your husband is super supportive it’s times like these you appreciate a good partner

[Knittedfairies]

I think you need to lower your expectations; babies can be very hard work. You'll get through it, even though right now it probably feels unlikely. Hang on in there.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

I wouldn’t leave a 10 week old. He’s barely been born, he’s tiny, less than 3 months ago he was cosy and warm in your belly with no concept of day or night.

At that age we had our baby with us till we went to bed and we’d hold her or pop her in her baby box on the floor near us, she fed when she was hungry and was nearby by us all the time. You don’t need a routine at that age and if he’s crying he might just want to be close to you. If you’re exhausted can your partner hold the baby for a few hours in the evenings when he’s unsettled and wake you if he needs feeding?

You’re doing a good job. Try not to worry too much and make sure you’re resting as much as possible even if you’re not sleeping much.

[Bobbybobbins]

Sounds like you're doing great and that this is fairly typical baby behaviour - there will be sleep regressions along the way. Doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong!

[SlippersAndWinePlease]

It's really tough OP , it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. It's the most frustrating thing but there's no answer or miracle fix (trust me, I'd have sold my soul for sleep at one point)

He's still teeny tiny and doesn't actually realise that you and him are separated yet so you are his comfort, try not to worry too much about strict routines and go with the flow a bit more , take the pressure off

[HayleyHaystack]

Our 22 week old still will only be held, happier sleeping on our chests, hates being put down, gets hysterical if he’s left to cry for a minute (usually when I’m just trying to get one tiny thing done!) and only really gets drowsy if he’s feeding. We still don’t really have evenings and the last nap of the day is always the toughest from what I’ve heard so to me it all sounds really normal - from my limited experience anyway! We’ve battled several sleep regressions, weeks of 1 wake up in his crib and weeks of carnage where he’s only co-slept. I think I felt like you at 10 weeks, hang in there! It’s a total rollercoaster all this!