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9 week old will only go to sleep in parents arms at night

(20 Posts)
sniggle Wed 22-Aug-07 09:13:36

My 9 week old baby will only go to sleep at night by falling asleep in either my arms or my husbands arms. I have read that this isn't a good idea and the baby should be encouraged to go to sleep on their own. How do I do this??

littlelapin Wed 22-Aug-07 09:16:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mammog Wed 22-Aug-07 09:19:25

Dont believe all that you read, all of my children went to sleep in this way and no harm ever came to them. You obviously love your baby, dont be ashamed or let others opinions spoil anything for you, go with instinct and throw the books away

binkleandflip Wed 22-Aug-07 09:21:06

It's really hard to break the habit but I would advise nipping it in the bud as soon as you can - this was the case with our dd and I'm afraid at 5 she is still sneaking into our bed for the najority of the night - I wake almost every morning to find her wrapped around me and I worry that she'll never be able to 'let go' of me.

The school nurse even observed that she has 'attachment issues'?! She never had a security blanket or anything because she was literally constantly attached to one of us.

Elk Wed 22-Aug-07 09:21:14

Hi,
My dd2 would only go to sleep in someone arms for the first 13 weeks of her life as well. She is now 21 months and has absolutely no problems going to sleep by herself so I wouldn't worry about it.

If you and your dh enjoy then carry on for a while. It is only a problem if you don't like doing it. It took us 2/3 weeks to train dd3 out of it when she was 13/14 weeks old, and there were no tears/crying involved.

sniggle Wed 22-Aug-07 09:21:29

Thanks for quick response! You have made me feel better anyway! Any tips would be appreciated though or just messages saying don't worry too much!

binkleandflip Wed 22-Aug-07 09:22:08

it is the most natural lovely feeling in the world

WanderingTrolley Wed 22-Aug-07 09:23:57

How do you feel?
Are you happy about it?
Sod what anyone else thinks.

Y'know all those baby books? Not one of them was written about your baby.

They are put to their best use when propping up one end of the cot imo.

sniggle Wed 22-Aug-07 09:27:03

Elk,
What did you do to train your baby out of it? I don't mind that she falls asleep in my arms but as a first time mum didn't know if this was a good idea and then read in 0 to five book it wasn't!

littlelapin Wed 22-Aug-07 09:27:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlelapin Wed 22-Aug-07 09:28:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

binkleandflip Wed 22-Aug-07 09:29:24

agree, littlelapin - our dd is a stage five clinger!!

I hope she grows out of it - that's what I'm concerned about tbh - I'm sure she will, hopefully..

WanderingTrolley Wed 22-Aug-07 09:29:25

Sniggle, babies change.

Agree with ll about personality.

Do you want her to go to sleep on her own right now?

saladsucks Wed 22-Aug-07 09:30:10

Our DD was exactly the same until about 8 weeks when we decided that we wanted her to learn to sleep on her own. I think we adapted a 'Baby Whisperer' method.

All naps were taken in her cot (only for a week or so until she got into the habit and then we went back to pram, car seat if we needed to). We would go into her room before a nap, sit quietly in the chair and talk sofely or sing then stand up near the cot so she could see in and then put her in the cot. We'd stay in the room for another few minutes, just pottering around (sometimes folding and re-folding a blanket several times) until she was happy and then leave her alone. Most times she would drift off to sleep as she was happy in her room and cot. We did very similar with night times, except we also did bath and feed from about that age as well. Within about a week she understood and was going off to sleep by herself.

That said, there were hiccups along the way and some moments of frustration on our part but we wanted her to go to sleep without us. It worked for us and now she's an amazing sleeper (10 months).

nailpolish Wed 22-Aug-07 09:30:36

can i just say

your little baby will only be little for a very short time
please dont waste it trying to get your baby to sleep alone
enjoy holding your tiny baby while you can!
you cant train a 9 week old, they are so so tiny and just want to be held
its not doing any harm

throw these books away!

Elk Wed 22-Aug-07 09:36:57

To train dd2 to go to sleep by herself.

WE decided on a bedtime (7pm to fit in with dd1).
Both dd's had a bath together then had some milk (breast/bottle).
At 7pm dh/I took dd2 to her room and sat in the dark in the rocking chair (rocking v. gently/not at all)and did not make a sound as she was very easily over stimulated. (Also took a glass of wine/beer- my husband loved it after a stressful day at work)
The first week we waited until she was asleep and then put her down (took up to 2 hours some nights).
The second week it was the same thing but took much less time (up to 1 hour)

In the third week when she was really calm and drowsy we put her down in her cot, this was probably after about 1/2 hour.

By the end of the third week she was gong down awake at approx 7pm and has done ever since.

It worked well for us, we did similar for dd1 as well but she was a much better sleeper than dd2 and only took 10 days.

littlelapin Wed 22-Aug-07 09:38:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saladsucks Wed 22-Aug-07 09:46:51

That's so true. I should add that DD will not sleep on anyone - ever! She must be lying down (or in a car seat if very tired) to go to sleep. This can be a pain when you need her to sleep and she cant lie down (e.g. areoplane). But for us the trade of was worth it so she goes down so well at night.

Once in a while though it would be nice if she'd sleep in my arms.

sniggle Wed 22-Aug-07 09:52:12

This site is fantastic I feel better already!

Elk Wed 22-Aug-07 09:55:44

Oh yes, dd2 still falls asleep on me now at naptime sometimes its lovely and means I have to lie on the sofa and not move for 40 mins - bliss.

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