2 year old - hit rock bottom

[midwifeinthemaking]

I was wondering if I could have any suggestions for help with my 25 month old - any suggestions, no matter how out there, are welcome!
She has ALWAYS been a terrible sleeper. She had awful colic as a baby and would breastfeed from 4pm until 2 am every night for the first four months, with 15 minute breaks every hour...as a single parent that nearly broke me in itself!
She would never settle unless I had a hairdryer full blast near her, and that wouldn't keep her asleep, just help her fall asleep.
Anyway, her sleep has never improved much, and she wakes around 4 times a night. Getting her down is okay, sometimes a bit of a struggle but nothing horrendous.
However, she has developed the worst night time tantrums I ever did see...I know they're not night terrors. She will wake up and scream blue murder, and I'm paranoid the neighbours think I'm doing something to her! Nothing helps, no dummy, cuddle, story, light on etc. I know she would calm down if she was in my bed but I don't want that. Anyway, these can go on for an hour and a half until she falls asleep with exhaustion....and then sometimes they happen again in the same night! Please give me some encouragement!

[AllTheCakes]

If she liked the hairdryer, have you tried white noise on a speaker? DS has white noise on all night long and has come to rely on it. We use a google speaker linked to Spotify to play it.

[AllTheCakes]

Sending sympathy btw, that sounds very hard!

[Falafel19]

Has she been checked for ear nose or throat issues, glue ear, enlarged adenoids or tonsils?

[BlackSwanGreen]

Are you sure it's not a night terror? Sounds like one to me?

[Callthemidwifeplease]

I am in no position to offer any parent sleep advice but have found that trying to avoid overtired baby has helped (sometimes....) so not too late to bed, same wake up time every morning (hard if you are a single parent and been up in the night....) and napping at the right time in the day for the right amount. If you are not too tired to research I have found Lucy Woolf who is a sleep consultant has some good advice in her book but also Instagram page.
Have you anyone can give you a night off so you can recharge?I feel your pain.

[midwifeinthemaking]

Thank you everyone for your messages - what a lovely online community that is so willing to offer advice!
I think I have resigned myself to the fact that until she is older and understands more, she will never sleep well - I just needed to vent I think!
She's in bed at 6 and up again at 6am as I have work, and will sometimes nap at nursery but no guarantee!
Think I will be asking for a few sessions from a sleep specialist as my christmas present!

[Callthemidwifeplease]

Vent away! Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture!!!

[Falafel19]

Seems a bit silly to just wait it out for years when they're might be a medical reason for it that might be easily remedied or give her some relief.

[midwifeinthemaking]

I did mention falafel19 that if she came into my bed she stops, so not a medical reason, just a very strong-willed child I think, she's defnitiely not in pain :) Just feel a little unlucky that her and I have this problem so bad after talking to many friends!

[Morgan12]

Just take her to bed. It won't last forever and will save your sanity.

My DS was like this. He sleeps in my bed now and sleeps 8-7 most nights.

[SoftSheen]

Co-sleep. It won't be forever, and you'll both get a lot more rest.

FWIW, I've had two poor sleepers (though DD much worse than DS) and ended up co-sleeping with each of them. In both cases, at around age 3-4 they easily transitioned to their own beds, with no problems getting to sleep or staying asleep. They're both still great sleepers now (DD now 8 and DS now nearly 5). Things will get better!