10 month old entering a whole new level of not sleeping

[Pippinsqueak]

I'm beyond exhausted. My ten month of breastfed daughter has been up five times in four hours. I can't cope anymore. My husband is trying to get her off to sleep but wakes every time she's put down. We have fantastic days, eats well, drinks well, naps well, night times turn to shit and will only be settled by boob. We have a lovely bedtime routine. She's dressed so she warm enough.

I haven't slept for more than two hours at a time since she was born and I'm now back at work. I love her so much she's the best thing to ever happen to me but this is killing me. I'm ill, run down, exhausted, I looked like death.

Don't know what I'm asking for I just need to vent before I end up in tears again


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[Sparky888]

Sorry that sounds really hard. Does the baby need milk at night now or is it comfort? How could you stop feeding at night so you get some sleep?

[Pippinsqueak]

It's for comfort most of the time definitely but she cries (and I mean she cries) until she has it, we re waking hourly and sometimes not going back to sleep for hours.

I feel like I've tried everything and now feeling a bit of a failure

[Cecilandsnail]

Can you cosleep and just leave a boob out so she can help herself in the night? Saved my sanity!

[Pippinsqueak]

I resorted to that tonight, I've always hated side feeding and co sleeping I find it so uncomfortable and she makes my nipples ache as she won't let them go.

I'm getting to the point where I'm wondering if it's medical

[Livingoffcoffee]

I could have written this exact post! I just did my own asking for advice re: CC because I just feel out of options. Haven't slept more than a few hours since DS was born. It's just not sustainable now that I'm back at work

[Pippinsqueak]

I'm currently waiting to see the doctors as I've broken down so many times recently. I'm exhausted and can't even think straight.

I've been asked by the health visitor to have a blood test as I'm always run down and ill, also to have some time off work to rest but to also look into some kind of sleep training.

I feel like a complete failure as I've only been back six weeks but something needs to give.

I'm also toying with the idea of giving her formula as I'm told she may be hungry during the night but she's never had the bottle before. It's so tricky.

[Livingoffcoffee]

@Pippinsqueak I 100% know what you mean, but at the same time I 100% know that you are not a failure! Definitely don't think that...we're all just doing what we can.

I'm EBF too, so been expressing at work so DS has bottles at nursery. But I'm just getting less and less each time I pump, which is really tough to accept. I think I'll have to try switching to formula for weekday daytimes. But may see if that makes any difference to fill him up more at night too.

[Pippinsqueak]

@Livingoffcoffee thank you for your kind message.

My little one never took to bottles and when she's at the childminders she's fine going all day without my milk as she's eating and drinking loads.

I've been signed off for two weeks to get my head straight then once I'm feeling better I may start looking into gentle sleep training as I don't want to keep going round in circles

People keep on telling me to give her formula at night but she's never had the bottle, I fear she ll just wake up even more and then il still have to boob her back to sleep. It's a minefield 💥

[UnaOfStormhold]

I suspect she's trying to make up in the night for having less time with you in the day - also known as reverse cycling or "did I really need another way to make going back to work even harder". If at all possible I'd see if you can find a way to avoid sleep training until she's had a bit of time to adjust to seeing you less, otherwise it's likely to be upsetting for you both. I vividly remember trying to work having been woken every 45 minutes for nights on end but it did get better. In the meantime ee coped by cosleeping in shifts, with my husband giving a bottle of expressed milk during his bits of the night. Having a consistent 4 hours of sleep at the same time every night was just about enough to get through this hell.

[Andromache77]

Sounds like mine. Quite honestly, the only thing that saved my sanity was accepting that this was it and cosleeping with one boob out most of the night or as a good friend put it, you open the bar and grab what sleep you can. Mine wouldn't go into the cot, no way, and screamed the house down if we tried. She just needed the comfort of close contact, in fact she still does and she's five (now she just comes to our bed when she wakes up in the night and snuggles up to me). Otherwise she's independent, clever and happy, but it's what she needs and she won't have anyone telling her otherwise, not even when she was a tiny baby. I consoled myself thinking that that no nonsense attitude would be very helpful to navigate the world once she grows up.

[Huncamuncaa]

Right mama, you need to put yourself first!
You are run down, signed off work. You need sleep!

From my experience at that age babies do not need milk at night. I wouldn't switch to a bottle, it will be another habit to break and another thing to stress about.

If she's never slept through it doesnt sound like it is linked to seperation. She has just never learnt to get off to sleep on her own without the boob and with work it is now unmanageable. Of course she may be a bit more clingy at the mo but it's not like she was sleeping through before. Sounds like she doesnt know how to. I agree with your HV. If you are not happy with the situation you need to sleep train. But you need to be in a good place to start it. The key is consistency and if you are full of back to work guilt and not well it will be harder for you. Can you get some support with it? You need to be confident it will work because it will. I was told it takes 3 days to completely break a habit. Mine took 2 but night 2 was infinitely easier. Slept through ever since. You can do it! You will sleep again and things will be easier soon

[Pippinsqueak]

@Huncamuncaa

Thank you for your kind words. I'm feeling better and I've only had three days off work. I love my work and find it rewarding plus it meant I could have a cup of tea in peace lol

I don't particularly want to sleep train but I don't feel I have any choice now as I don't want to keep going round in circles when I go back to work but you're right I need to in the right head space and strong enough to do it in the first place. I was hoping she would naturally sleep longer, I wouldn't mind her waking two or three times to be honest but 12 times is a bit much.

I have a great support network during the day but my husband works night shifts and they are never static unfortunately.

[Huncamuncaa]

I would really recommend doing it at some point.

My life was falling apart with sleep deprivation when I did it. I went back to work with children with behaviour difficulties and I felt like I was letting them down with my lack of energy and enthusiasm. I quite literally couldn't do my job.

I had tried everything including co sleeping which just didnt work for us.

If you do it and however you do it, the first evening will be the tough one. Once they've got through that hurdle the rest of the night will be easier so perhaps you could just get a supportive friend over for the evening to help you be consistent? Loads of luck