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Help with non sleeping 8 week old

(30 Posts)
SleeplessinEastSussex Sat 09-Nov-19 00:53:26

I have an 8 week old DD who screams when put down in cot or pram. She falls asleep on the breast or after bottle and wakes 20 minutes later if I have put her down.
She will sleep on me but I am so tired i am worried something will happen so always put her back in her snuzpod. She will not have a dummy and just spits in out.
I think she needs a bedtime routine and I would appreciate any suggestions of help as I am exhausted and need to sleep for more than 20 mins at a time.

GreenTulips Sat 09-Nov-19 00:58:44

Might be avid reflux

Lift the cot at one end with a towel under the mattress
Never lie flat
Always head above stomach

You’ll have a different baby in a few days

SleeplessinEastSussex Sat 09-Nov-19 01:00:30

Thanks @GreenTulips - have lifted the mattress slightly to see if that helps.

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:02:40

Reflux or just being a normal baby that wants hugs ?

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:04:56

Yes you need routine but at 8 weeks old ??? It's not going to happen.

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:06:30

It's also recommended babies lie flat

So I wouldn't be following advice not by guidelines

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:07:26

In lifting mattress your actually changing the arch of the non formed spine and cutting of airways

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:07:55

So please do not do this . Idiots that give advice

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:09:23

Your baby is going to wakes and be upset ? It's normal please do not follow advice they will put your baby at risk

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:11:15

Do you expect 8 hours sleep with a newborn?? Stop complaining and look after your baby . Poor thing only wants a cuddle

Meshy23 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:21:50

Sorry but it’s eight weeks old - if this is your first baby then welcome to the world of parenting - this is totally normal.

You can’t do a routine at this age - they are tiny and just need comfort and love from you.

Hopefully by 4 months or so you can start Getting more sleep but even then it might not happen - its common for some babies to continue waking until they are much older. Every baby is different.

If you are exhausted can you learn to safely co-sleep on your side whilst feeding - look at the lullaby trusts website for guidelines.

Otherwise you are doing an amazing job and yes it’s tough - but you will get there and as with everything baby related - this is a phase that will pass and things will change before you know it.

Soon2BeMumof3 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:23:53

@carolina21 how unkind. She didn't say she wanted 8 hours sleep, she said she needs more than 20 minutes of sleep. Any medical professional would tell you that 20 minutes sleep is unhealthy in a multitude of ways.

OP- this will end. You will survive. It won't be like this forever. It might be over in a week. So keep that in mind.

Google safe co-sleeping, just in case you need to do it.

Do you have a partner? Are you able to express milk?

Try white noise

Take care of yourself. Don't try to achieve anything beyond the essential.

DustyOwl Sat 09-Nov-19 01:24:41

It's so hard and exhausting and I remember it very well.

At 1am I clearly remember thinking I must have a broken baby and thinking that I was breaking too.

I am sorry that I don't have any practical advice except; don't beat yourself up over not having a routine.
They did sleep, they have a lovely routine now but they are also 10 and 7.
I spoke to my midwife about safe cosleeping in the end and that worked for us.

Is there an "other half" that could give you some well needed, relaxed sleep?
Good luck, take care and remember "this too shall pass." You are doing an excellent job.

DustyOwl Sat 09-Nov-19 01:27:49

I have to add I didn't have to wait 10 years to have a full night's sleep! I just wanted to reassure you that you won't "spoil your baby" and create bad sleeping habits by not having a routine early on.

PixieDustt Sat 09-Nov-19 01:43:17

@carolina21 why are you being so horrible? The OP isn't complaining she's asking for advice. There is a difference.

OP, my DS's night time light which project stars really helps him settle.
He tends to fall asleep on me then I put him in his crib. Also if your crib has a incline position on it you can tilt the cot slightly if your baby has reflux. Not sure what ones you can do it on but my next to me crib has an incline position for reflux.
Have you seen the toy (a hedgehog I think?) from smyths that plays a heartbeat. Your DC may like that as could sound/feel like they are next to you.
Hope you get some good advice soon!

Witching Sat 09-Nov-19 01:48:46

OP, this is the PERFECT time to start introducing a bedtime routine. That doesn't mean baby will "get it" immediately but it's a great time to be doing the ground work, and repetition is key. I had a hugely overtired and upset baby at the same age until we started with a predictable bedtime routine. For us, bath at 6 30, then a feed in dark room before putting down with white noise and monitor on works well.

Mintypea5 Sat 09-Nov-19 01:58:04

@carolina21 it's actually very normal for reflux babies to be given the advice to tilt one end of the cot higher. My DS2 had bad reflux and the HV suggested tilting one end of our next2me as it's adjustable. The mattress is still perfectly flat and baby is on their back but the new position helps them cope with their reflux.

Also you're incredibly rude and horrible. Until you've experienced a baby who has reflux / the pure torture of getting to no rest you can't begin to judge.

SleeplessinEastSussex Sat 09-Nov-19 03:39:43

Thank you everyone for your replies. This is my third baby but there is a gap of 10 years and I cannot remember what I did with my first two - probably due to sleep deprivation 😊
I don't expect a full nights sleep - just more than 20 minutes at a time which I also don't think is good for my DD.
Is it ok to raise the mattress slightly by putting something underneath it?

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 04:04:17

No you cant? Have you read about SIDS? Babis at 10 weeks old need to lie flat!
Please if u have concerns contact health visitor , gp? Don't listen to people on a parenting forum .

Just because it work for them doesn't mean it will work positivity for you !

No one knows the cot , the mattress , the size of the towel etc ?

I'm not being rude ? I'm trying to stop someone losing there child !


carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 04:05:22

People on here are rude ? And telling you what they were maybe told 20 years ago but certainly different now

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 04:09:36

If a 8 week old isn't sleeping longer then 20 mins there is a health issue ? Not solved by going against NHS recommendations .

Simply call your health visitor or visit gp?

Please no one listen to a five from idiots who clearly have no understanding of SIDS

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 04:11:49

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 04:18:56

use a mattress that's firm, flat, waterproof and in good condition

carolina21 Sat 09-Nov-19 04:19:51

Read this and do not put anything under Matresss !

Fucket Sat 09-Nov-19 05:13:57

When I was breastfeeding i coslept with mine. There are ways to do it safely, and it’s only recommended if breastfeeding and not if you are bottle feeding, the hormones being released when breastfeeding or something makes mum more in tune with baby. You lay on your side with baby next to you, if you flop your boob out it’s inches from baby. Then when they wake it’s easy to latch baby on and then you do that on and off all night.

For daytime naps I’d always try putting in cot/Moses basket.

Is much safer than falling asleep with baby on you. I would think it’s how babies slept for millions of years before cots were invented.

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