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So hard to settle!!

(9 Posts)
LJSY Fri 08-Nov-19 21:52:05

My 7 month old has always been a rubbish sleeper but now it seems to have just got worse than ever! She’s recently had a cold and found it really hard to sleep during the night due to being congested. Now the cold has cleared and she seems to have gotten used to getting up 3/4 times a night as she did when she had the cold.
The only way I can get her back to sleep is feed her (She’s BF, won’t take bottle or dummy)
I’ve been taking her into bed with me just to get some sleep. My husband used to be able to settle her back but now she won’t have it!
She wants to comfort of the breast, she clearly doesn’t like being in her cot either.. Any tips???

mamatoizzywizzy Fri 08-Nov-19 22:39:33

Hey smile I don't have any advice as such , but just wanted to say that this resonates with me so much ! My 8month old will only ever settle if I BF her. Nothing else will settle her . (Well, walking and the car works during the day but I'm not doing that at night, and she would wake the moment I transferred anyway!)

I keep telling myself it's all just a faze and it will pass . I also remind myself how easy it is to settle her - I just sit there with my top up and she is loving life !! I wonder how I could settle her if I forumula fed - would I be bouncing , or rocking for ages and ages and ages each night ?! Would I be going for midnight walks or drives!? That sounds a lot more work than just sitting there . That makes me feel better when I think like that! I hope it helps a little for you too smile

mamatoizzywizzy Fri 08-Nov-19 22:41:47

Ps- my daughter also wouldn't accept a dummy ! I think I bought just about every brand on the market and she rejected every single one !!!!

LJSY Sat 09-Nov-19 07:06:12


Thanks for posting and yes you’re right it is an easy way to settle but I also feel like I want my body back a bit now!
Does your daughter get in your bed with you too? I feel like i’ve failed there. Don’t even get any space from her at night which is just silly!!
Sorry just ranting lol

mamatoizzywizzy Sat 09-Nov-19 08:57:13

@LJSY I do know what you mean - I have posted so many times on this forum about wanting my body back and wanting to stop feeding to sleep / stop breastfeeding etc and there is still part of me that wants all of this - I wish I could just put my daughter in her cot at nap and bedtimes and for her to suck her thumb , or stroke a comforter - but when I have tried that she just screams and screams . I then try bouncing about but I wold be bouncing forEVER because she takes such a long time to go to sleep and when I'm tired I just don't want to bounce (not that bouncing has ever worked anyway!!) I go back to sitting and feeding (then I have felt lazy for this in the past and wonder how other women manage to settle without boob , and I start to wonder if they are better mums than me!!) . Some days I hate this and will rant to my husband about how I regret feeding and how I would never do it again . Some days I love the snuggles. I have good days and bad days where I flirt between accepting my daughter needs it and me wanting to be able to hand over bedtime to my husband just for one night . If that sounds familiar , i can empathise completely x

mamatoizzywizzy Sat 09-Nov-19 08:58:10

Ps we have coslept in the past yes , but if I do that now she won't settle because she gets distracted by my husband next to me and wiggles and fidgets!!!

LJSY Sat 09-Nov-19 12:46:28

@mamatoizzywizzy Your situation sounds exactly the same as ours! Thanks it’s good to know i’m not alone I suppose! I just don’t really know where to go from here! Everyone tells you to BF but not this part of it.. hmm
Not that I regret it at all absolutely not! Just the fact that she won’t take milk from a bottle makes it really hard! Does your little one nap well in the day?
I really don’t want her in our bed but she seems to wake after minutes in her cot! And I cannot do the jiggling and bouncing for hours either!!

mamatoizzywizzy Sat 09-Nov-19 13:15:17

I don't know where to go either confused I often wonder when I will ever stop. I only ever wanted to feed for 6 months , but now I use it as a sleeping tool I just don't know what that means for us. I worry that I'll still be doing it when she's toddling and I really really don't want that! I'm hoping if that is the case, I will be able to speak to her about it in a way she will understand and we can wean then!!

Naps in the day hmm I'm either out with her in the push chair or driving in the car most times. If I can't be bothered to do either of those things I feed to sleep and then sit with her till she wakes up. A handful of times I've braved it and tried to transfer to the cot , but often she wakes up and then I have to feed again - that cycle just frustrates me which is why I don't often do it in the day . I rarely get a break ! I hear about other mums who do cleaning or cooking when their baby naps in the day and i wonder what they do that I don't !!!? If I am over at my mums I have fed to sleep laying down on her bed and then wedged her in with pillows so she doesn't roll off!!
How are day time naps for you!?
I keep repeating to myself that this is just a phase and it will pass . It keeps me a little sane !! And I think if it doesn't pass then it will have to pass by the time she goes to school 🙈🙈 Lol

MarchingAnts Sat 09-Nov-19 13:17:22

My 17 month old is much the same... never one for 'sleeping through' but after a cold/illness it knocks the routine out for a few weeks. It does go back gradually, just try to stick with what you were doing before as much as possible

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