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I am soooooo annoyed with DH. Sorry, long rant.....

(16 Posts)
ratfly Thu 09-Aug-07 19:04:49

After weeks of hard work, we had weaned ds off the dummy and got him to settle for all og his naps with minimal shhing and patting. It had even got to the point where I could lay him down, leave the room and 5 mins later he would be asleep. My God, he had even started going through the night!

Then DH decides to wean the swaddle. Ok his eczema had improved, but I was still cautious... So I told DH that if he was going to do it, HE could do it.

Lo and behold Ds is asleep in about 10 minutes, with no crying! He woke for his late feed, which DH does anyway, and again he settles in about 5 minutes! I couldnt believe it. Anyway, not quite so good for me when he woke at night, but hey ho...

One week on (for which DH was off for the first 4 days, so helping me out), Ds is waking in the night and NOT settling for an hour or so. I am exhausted. So I ask DH how come he can always get him to settle so quick. Has he the magic touch!

NO, HE ROCKS HIM TO SLEEP EVERYTIME!!!!

So no wonder I can no longer put him down awake, and he screams for hours in the night. HE wants to be Rocked to sleep!

After ALL of that work getting him to sleep independently. He is now reswaddled and won't go to sleep unless rocked. For EVERY nap!!!



how do we get past this without cc?

ratfly Thu 09-Aug-07 19:07:51

just to add - shh and pat only winds him up now. If he sees you, he wants to be held. He will drop off immediately, and as soon as you put him down, he screams!!!

LazyLineLegilimens Thu 09-Aug-07 19:09:07

how old is he?

ratfly Thu 09-Aug-07 19:10:37

6 1/2 months

ratfly Thu 09-Aug-07 19:31:04

ok, I just got him to sleep doing shh pat on his HEAD!!

I'm not really asking for advice tbh, I just want sympathy for doing all that work and DH wrecking it all

ratfly Sun 12-Aug-07 18:58:53

ok, now I AM asking for advice....
today he screamed for ages and wouldnt settle for his midday nap, despite being knackered.
If I picked him up he nodded off immediately, then when I put him down, awake and screaming...
Any advice?

choolie Sun 12-Aug-07 22:14:03

I just posted something in the 1yo screaming at bedtime post that might help. My DS is 5.5 mo, unlike you I'd never got to him sleeping independently, so am working from him falling asleep on me (yes, I've been spending 3 hours a day lounging on my bed holding him through his naps!!! at least I've got through plenty of reading! so am v. keen to change things now).

i'm not into cc and 3 days after trying new ways of doing it he's already going into cot awake and settling there with my help. the idea is to gradually work through stages until he's happy to settle by himself.
Good luck.

cruisemum1 Sun 12-Aug-07 22:37:53

ratfly - so sorry to hear your troubles. dh's can be total arseholes sometimes. tbh i never get my dh involved in any stuff like that cos from experience of our first lo, he doesn't like to take advice so i don't give it, I just get on with things. But as for what you are going through right now. I would recommend going back to square one. Your poor lo is getting mixed messages and will be confused right now. Loads of cuddles in the day/waking hours, then back to your usual routine for naps/sleep. You know he can do it. put your faith in him to do it again and he will. Good luck!

ratfly Mon 13-Aug-07 07:53:42

thanks guys. cruise - we have chatted before havent we, in sleep is for the weak?!
The problem is, I can't remember what I did to get him to sleep independently, as it is so long ago!
I think I might have to search through my old posts....

trixymalixy Mon 13-Aug-07 11:48:45

Ratfly I can totally empathise with this.

I feel with my 6 mo DS it's one step forward two steps back.

I had got him to the stage where I could hold him for a bit and shh and then put him down awake and he would drop off by himself.

That was until Friday where he had just gone back to square one. Went in to see DH rocking him to sleep. Aargh!!!!!!

How did you manage to wean him off the dummy?

LoveMyGirls Mon 13-Aug-07 11:50:26

Poke your dh's eyes out, WTF did he think he was doing? I guess at least he is doing his bit prac tically and not expecting you to do everything but fgs he could have mentioned it!

ratfly Mon 13-Aug-07 12:13:13

so it isnt only my dh then.

claireybee Mon 13-Aug-07 21:12:31

Poor u
My dh still tries to rock dd to sleep despite it not having worked since about 6 months. He then complains he can never get her to sleep-if he just put her down in the cot and left the room she'd be fine! I do have to laugh though when i catch a glimpse of him trying to restrain her and rock her and her struggling to get away! Guess I'm lucky that she's not having any of it...

cruisemum1 Mon 13-Aug-07 22:31:35

atually on the one occasion when my dh got his arse in gear to comfort our son in hte early hours (I had left the monitor downstairs and failed to hear him), I heard him in ds's room chatting to him and coo-ing and aah-ing. How many times do you need to tell them that there is no verbal communication at nighttime wakings unless absolutely necessary . Then when I went in as ds was still screaming blue murder, dh tried to give me a running commentary on waht was happening. Grrrr! cue more talking and stimulation for ds. . Now you understand why i just get on with it myself should the need arise!

ratfly Tue 14-Aug-07 15:11:44

cruise - we had that happen once - dh was home late and missed bedtime, so went into the 11 pm feed all "hello mister, how are you". And he paid for it...
needless to say, he takes me seriously when I say don't talk to him now!

cruisemum1 Wed 15-Aug-07 14:03:00

bloody hopeless aren't they?!

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