At my wits end...

[ListenLinda]

Would appreciate any advice anyone has to give.
DD (2.5yo) is waking through the night, again. After weeks/months of 7.30pm - 5-6am ish, we are now having frequent wake ups, usually around 1-2am ish and she is very hard to settle again.
I also have DS going through the damned 4 month sleep regression and I can’t leave either to cry while I sort the other one, DS because he’s only 4 months old and DD because she’ll wake the entire street and H up if I left her.
So as it is, I am currently sat downstairs with DS in my arms and DD laid on the sofa listening to lullabies/stories, no TV and low lights. It could be another 2 hours before she drops off by herself and I can go back to sleep. I know I shouldn’t of brought her downstairs really but I can’t be doing with the screaming and crying so early.


Does anyone have any advice? it’s starting to affect my moods during the day which isn’t fair on either child, as it’s not their fault.

[Jammy135]

No advice but just a message to say you're not alone!
Also if you're on Facebook check out the midnight mamas page for some company! Passing on sleepy dust and hopefully naps for all tomorrow xx

[ListenLinda]

It’s good to know i’m not alone! :)
I feel even more guilty for being so frustrated at the fact that DS was such a good sleeper, could put him down between 7-8 and that would be him until 3am; quick feed back off until 6ish or whenever DD woke up for the day. This regression would be easier to cope with if i wasn’t spending upto 2.5 hours a night awake with DD!
Absolutely nothing has changed recently to prompt her night wakings either. She still goes to nursery, eats well, sees plenty of family, we go out once a day.
I just don’t know how to snap her out of waking up. I mean she always used to wake but would roll over and go back to sleep. Now she is getting out of bed and standing at the baby gate shouting for me at 1am and I am just exhausted.

[Jammy135]

Aww I feel you. My LG slept through from 10 weeks and I thought I'd hit the jackpot. Then she hit 6 months and she still isn't making it through the night and she's 13 months. We get blood curdling screaming until I put her in bed with me where she'll lay and chat to me (herself) and I snooze a little. I can't imagine having another one!! It'll soon seem like a distant memory and we'll have teenagers that are keeping us up all night with worry!! Xx

[HerSymphonyAndSong]

This sounds very hard. Does your husband have a job or illness that means he absolutely can’t be woken? Because otherwise one option would be for each of you to sort out one child per night so you aren’t trying to juggle both single-handedly while exhausted.

[daphine2004]

That is painful. Is she having bad dreams or just in the habit of waking up now at that time?

I wondered if a gro clock would work? The face goes yellow in the morning so could help her know it’s not time to get up. We use one for our four year old and it is good, until he decides to turn it off! Having said that yours is younger and it didn’t work for us properly, but definitely worth a try.

I wonder if you need to put your heating on 12.30-1.30/2 as it could be it’s a bit cooler then and that could wake her.

Maybe a reward chart?

Sometimes it’s trial and error when nothing seems to work.

Good luck.

[ListenLinda]

We co slept with DD for 2 years, and when we moved her to her own room we thought we had it sussed! And now this. And that’s what I keep getting told, ‘you’ll be dragging her out of bed when she is a teenager’ yes, but she isn’t a teenager now and I am running on empty haha

[ListenLinda]

@HerSymphonyAndSong he is a driver, so unless absolutely necessary I try not to wake him. He does sometimes try to help but ends up making it worse bless him because she just yells for me.

@daphine2004 not too sure if it is bad dreams, she doesn’t cry or anything, just gets out of bed and stands at the gate. That comes when I put her back in bed or attempt to ignore her.

[Babs5693]

I know this is not an ideal solution as I am just thinking of you getting some rest but do you think your daughter maybe going through abit of separation anxiety and just needs you, if so would it be worth having both children in the same bedroom as you ( only when she wakes up) and your husband sleep in a spare room, if you have one. Once your daughter knows you are always there for her it may reassure her and go to sleep. Just a thought and I know it’s not ideal.

[ListenLinda]

Only a 2 bed house so he would have to kip on sofa if we did that but i am willing to try anything 😂

[Babs5693]

Maybe try taking her down on to the sofa tonight with no tv on and say it’s sleep time, if she goes to sleep then you know it’s you she wants. Another option if she has a good size bed would be for your husband to get in her bed and her to come into yours if she wakes just to get some sleep. On a weekend if your husband doesn’t work get him to look after the baby while you get your daughter to sleep in her bed if that’s an option. Is she able to tell you why she wakes? Mine isn’t the best at explaining why he wakes at night I think it’s a mix of bad dreams and separation anxiety (he’s never been good at me leaving him)

[HighNetGirth]

I sympathise with both of you; the after effects of insomnia are crippling me today. We found that hideous Fisher Price seahorse helpful. Worth a try?
www.argos.co.uk/product/8355582

[ListenLinda]

@Babs5693 no she doesn’t tell me why she just says ‘mummy downstairs’

Up until friday, she was put to bed at her usual time and when she woke ( twice or so ) dh went and sorted her out and we had 5.30am wake ups. Brilliant I thought. Then we went to a wedding on saturday and she stayed with a family member. Her naps and everything went to shit and she slept 11pm-8am the next morning.

And now here we are again, not even bloody 4am and i’m sat downstairs with both of them as she refused to get into bed with her Dad.

I’m going to have to sleep train them both, is it even possible to sleep train a toddler?

[Babs5693]

Not sure if you can slttrain a toddler if you can I certainly need to with mine! I’m up every night with him, I sleep on his floor, I then go into my bedroom where my daughter sleeps to feed her (she’s with her dad) then get back in my toddlers floor as he freaks out if he wakes and I’m not there, I then set my alarm for 5.30 when my husband gets up to go back into my bedroom to stay with our daughter. It’s so tiring, tonight I think I am getting straight on my sons floor rather than been screamed in at 1am. Also to top it off currently potty training him, he’s wee’d himself 6 times and poo’d in his pants due to been distracted, no matter how many times I have asked if he needs the toilet. One day I will look back on these days and miss them! I’m sure I will 😬 x

[ListenLinda]

I’m sure I will too but right now i’m exhausted 😂 She’s had a full day at nursery today so hopefully she is out for the count!

[Babs5693]

I have my fingers crossed for you, here’s hoping to a good nights sleep

[ListenLinda]

@Babs5693 oh my gosh.... she is still in bed!

[Babs5693]

Fantastic! Hopefully you got some much needed rest

[BigusBumus]

Do lullabies and stories not keep her stimulated though? And why is she dictating where she wants to go? (I'm not being nasty, I just don't get why a toddler is allowed to dictate. Perhaps i was a horrible mum, but no one was allowed out of their own beds, i would stay with them there until they fell asleep again and never had any sleep issues as they knew the rules from the start).

[ListenLinda]

She doesn’t dictate, one child wakes the other and I can leave her in her bedroom if I wanted to but i’d rather not have the screaming and crying that will wake up DH and next door.
If DS went back to sleeping through it would be no problem in keeping her in her room until she dropped back off, but unfortunately that’s not the case.

[Babs5693]

I think you have to do what works best for your family as a whole, hopefully you got some rest x