Diary of a dummy weaner....

[ratfly]

I thought this might be a useful blog...

I accidentally started Ds (6 months) weaning off the dummy today. I just wanted to see if he would suck his hands if I left 1 arm unswaddled.

After 5 mins crying and screaming, asI lay next to him patting and shhing, I realised he wouldn't stick his fingers in his mouth, but just rubbed his face and eyes.

So I reswaddled him, and lay next to him to see what he would do without his dummy. Lots more crying and screaming. And after another 5 mins I thought that if I plugged him up (the dummy was actually within reaching distance), he would drop off in a second. But then all that screaming would have been for nothing. So I didn't replug, and so the dummy weaning started....

Another 5 mins, and every time he was dropping off he realised he didnt have his dummy and screamed. Poor thing! I carried on lying next to him (he was on my bed, don't ask why!!) and patting and shhing and eventually he went down.

Nap 1 - 15 minutes to settle.

[ratfly]

Anyway, I said I didnt want to start today as I was meant to go round mums while I popped into work.
So nap 2 was on Mum's bed, in a strange place!! Another 15 minutes of REALLY screaming this time, me next to him patting and shhing, and down he went.

He woke after 15 mins and I resettled him in 5, after which he slept a record hour and a half!

[Rantmum]

Good luck, ds still needs one at night at 2.5 - I was planning to take it away this summer, but we are relocating and it is his only "comfort" item, so I feel really cruel taking it away with all this change happening around him (and don't get me started on potty training!)
He looks so silly with it in his big two year old face though, wish I had more perseverence when he was 6 mths! My only excuse was that we were moving house then too - we should really stop moving

[ratfly]

So he has just woken up from nap 3. In his cot. It took 8 minutes to settle this time, and he slept for 30 mins, which is usual for this time of day....
I am not looking forward to tonight though - It will take great resolve not to plug him up if he wakes at 3am...

[ratfly]

He has now gone down for the night. Apparently (dh did it) it took 1-2 minutes of holding and rocking, then he put him down and he whined for a bit, then asleep! It took about 5 minutes altogether!!!

[Seona1973]

well done!! Keep it up. You may find over the next few nights that you will have an urge to put the dummy in for a quick fix if he wakes in the night and you have to try to settle him without it. Try to resist cos you are doing a great job so far!!

[ratfly]

Right. So our usual night had become:
Down at 7. Wake at 9, then 10 for a dummy, feed at 11. Wake at 2 for a dummy, 4 for a feed, 5 awake for the day. On a bad night he would wake at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 for a dummy (a feed at 3 or 4 though).
Last night:
Down at 7. Dreamfeed at 11.30 (he hadn't woken up!), woke at 3.30 for a feed, up at 6 for the day.
WOW!!! I never thought a night like that existed.
Hopefully this pattern will continue....

[ratfly]

I didnt keep this blog up over the weekend, but I will update it, as someone MAY find it useful one day..... And it may spur some people on to finally ditch the dummy when they are getting broken nights because of it...

Saturday - naps took 5 mins to go down at, with him sucking his lips instead of the dummy. I thought I was onto a winner, until I put him down at night and it took an hour of screaming to get to sleep . I was alone too, and it was VERY hard work... He did go down eventually though, and I didnt cave in and give him his dummy, despite knowing he would drop off immediately with it.
He woke once at night for a feed, then at 6am for the day.

DH took him on Sunday, and (to my disappointment!) ds went down for each nap in 5 minutes, including in the evening.
He woke once for a feed and then at 5am (I got into bed with him), then at 7.30am.

Today I put him down at 9 and left him to it - he had a little whinge, but settled himself within a couple of minutes. This would have been unthinkable last week.....

[bagsundereyes]

thanks ratfly - please keep this thread going. I have a strong suspicion that some of my DD's many wakings are dummy related, and may wish to follow your lead when she's a bit bigger. Wishing you luck for the coming nights and naps!

[Seona1973]

well done ratfly!! Hope the good sleeping continues. You may get a couple of relapses when your ds will test you but be strong

[ratfly]

maybe I spoke too soon!
His 12pm nap didnt take place at all, as he cried for so long I just got him up again.
then he fell asleep in the car, I got him out and he woke up, and he refused to resettle.
so that is a record breaking 1 1/2 hours sleep since 7am this morning......

[ratfly]

Another excellent night!
We actually gave him a dreamfeed (i.e. he was actually still asleep) at 11pm - he has always woekn up before this and we have held him off with the dummy...

then he woke at 5am for a 5oz feed, used shhing and patting to resettle. Then, I woke up IN MY OWN BED at 7am. I feel great! 6 hours, then about 1 1/2 hours sleep in 1 night!!!!!

Naps at 9 and 12 took 5 mins to settle ( I left the room and let him settle himself as he kept staring at me!).

Then bedtime is currently happening - he is still hungry but also tired, so he is waking up a bit, but drifting off in between with NO DUMMY!!!!

So, all of you lot who have thought about dummy weaning - it can be difficult, but it is really worth it!

[bagsundereyes]

Hi ratfly - hope things are still going well for you.

Can I just ask - are you still swaddling? It\s just that DD is still hooked to both her dummy and her swaddle, and I'm trying to decide which to wean first !

[Jojay]

WEll done Ratfly - I remember you posting about the dummy some time ago, so good for you for having the guts to ditch it.

It sounds like it has been well worth it! Long may it continue!!

[ratfly]

Bagsundereyes (I sure know THAT look!) - yeah we are still swaddling. I tried leaving an arm out when I started dummy weaning but he didnt get his fingers in his mouth, so I thought I would do 1 at a time.
Also, if you get rid of the swaddle first, I found ds knocked the dummy out and was too stressed to find it and pop it back in, so I did dummy first.


Last night fed at 2am (we messed up his df and he only took 2oz at 11) and slept through til 7am!!!!!

Today went something like this:
9am - I walked out of the room, planning to let him cry for 5 mins as he kept eye contact with me while I was shhing etc. He was asleep in about 2 mins.
12pm - let him cry for a couple of minutes and settled himself.
7pm - same as 12pm.

I have heard him snuffle a few times, but he seems to be settling himself!
Today I threw all of his dummies in the wheelie bin

[ratfly]

Last message on this topic..
It took less than a week to wean ds from his dummy, which he had been using since about 4 weeks old.
Now his sleep has improved and he can settle himself just as quickly to get to sleep, and can self settle at night.
If you are thinking of doing it - DO IT! It is worth it and not as difficult as you might think!

[Katsma]

Couldn't agree more. Dummy weaning was the best thing we ever did. (Although, like you, we had to tough it out initially)

We did it at 5months, and DD (now 10mo) has slept right through every night since. And no more asking for boiling water in coffee shops

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

Oh lordy - well done. Our DD is 7 months and I know we're going to have to do this - currently doing a spot of sleep training to knock out a feed that she doesn't really need - not sure i can do the dummy weaning just yet but I am delighted to see that it's possible!!!!!! How's it all going now??

[Wilkie]

Ratfly - this is interesting. Was on the original thread you posted about it.

I have gone dummy free during the day but not dared attempt it for sleep time yet although we have stopped 'plugging' him once he is asleep and he is resettling himself. It is just putting him down without I am shying away from.

WELL DONE!

[pulapula]

ratfly- well done- you did really well not to use the dummy once you'd started.

we found it really hard with DD as we would lay her down and she'd open her mouth ady for the dummy, and then get upset, so sometimes i caved in.

for those weaning from dummy and swaddle, i can offer the following advice. we decided on dummy first, at 5 months. however DD took a while to settle, and was quite upset. She kept wriggling, and we would reswaddle, but it turned out she just wanted to hold something in her hand, like a blanket, and wanted to suck something too, and found her thumb once we let her. We felt bad that she was trying to self-soothe and we were preventing it!

She still sucks her thumb and holds her blanket to sleep now, at 2.7 years...

[ratfly]

Thanks everyone! It seemed to me that if I was going to do it, I had to just DO it. I also figured that it's like quitting smoking (done that a few times..) - if noone let you have one, you will get through it all quicker.

Good luck anyone else who is tyring dummy weaning. It is hard work at times, but those nights make up for it. Though of course, ds is now teething, so broken nights are back !

[cheritongirl]

thanks for this ratfly - my ds is nearly 9 months now and i have been steeling myself to do the weaning but have been a wuss - think this is the motivation i need!!!

[ratfly]

I found a dummy yesterday ! It was in the kitchen drawer. When I saw it, I felt a huge pang of relief when I realised we don't need it anymore. And it was brand new, and quite a cute one (had a lion on it)! I am so proud of ds.

After the charade of finding dh was rocking ds to sleep, and the nightmare or teething, our next installment will be swaddle weaning! Watch this space...

[Egypt]

ratfly - i feel the need to do this with dd now. she is waking hourly some nights. can i ask whether he is still sleeping well?

btw, she has had 2 naps today without the dummy - no crying - but rocking in her bouncy chair. thing is she will desperately search for it when in bed. i have noticed her chewing on her thumb a little in the last few days and once or twice having a quick suck, so i figure if i do it now she may use that to self soothe. would be GREAT?!

[Egypt]

she's 6 months next week by the way

[ImBarryScott]

Egypt - I have just weaned my 6month DD from her dummy, and it was the best thing I've done! I have no problems with LOs having dummies, but my DD was often waking hourly for a replugging.

I am mean mummy, and we used CC. Crying peaked at 1 hour, once, and quickly tailed off.

I know lots of people do not want to do cc, and I completely understand.

But whatever approach you choose (perhaps No Cry Sleep Solution if you don't want many tears), I really think it will be worth it. We're on about day 10 of not having a dummy, and I honestly believe DD has forgotten she ever had one.

Good luck!