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HELP! 10 month old suddenly won' t go down!

(29 Posts)
fairysnuff Sun 15-Jul-07 21:40:23

DD has suddenly decided that she is not going to fall alseep on the boob anymore, in fact she is not going to fall asleep at all after her last feed, for about an hour, but I Can't leave the room until she does!!!
Driving me mad!!
Had to send DH up for his shift of sitting pointlessy in the room until she drops off a little, then try to sneak away only to be foiled by our shadows crossing the door!!
Oh my god! What am I to do with a creature like that.
But seriously! Help!!

CC, how long do you let them scream?
DH can only manage 10mins!

emkana Sun 15-Jul-07 21:42:20

It sounds to me as if she's just not tired at her usual bedtime anymore?

fairysnuff Sun 15-Jul-07 21:44:06

There have been occasions in the past where she hasn't fallen asleep on the boob and she has gone down well enough, but she just doesn't want to sleep now. She is lying in her cot contented enough, whilst I am in the room but as soon as I make a sound to leave, you can hear her listening intently and getting up to stand and shout, the minute I do?!
We held off bedtime by an hour tonight to see if she had been put down too early last night and she was sooo sleepy in her bath, but nope, no change

PavlovtheCat Sun 15-Jul-07 21:46:43

DD has started doing this again last three days, she is just over 12 months. She did it at around 10 months too, for a week or so...
Have you tried pu/pd? Worked for my DD last time, she went with it so easily, about 10 mins. This evening tho, it took an hour, and combined with singing twinkle little star, and the creeping out the room still singing it, she finally went to sleep, less reponsive to pu/pd.

I find that she usually cries for about 10 mins after I leave the room, soft tired crying, but these last three days have been different, like yours, only wants me there or else wont sleep, goes from being fast asleep to up hanging off cot bars in 20 seconds!

I shall read your threads with interest, and let you know how she is responding to things I try too.

PavlovtheCat Sun 15-Jul-07 21:48:21

I have read up on it a bit, and it appears that it might be do with babies learning new things, meeting milestone, seems to unsettle their sleeping, but does settle again. It makes sense for DD as she has just starting walking. Could it be the same for you?

fairysnuff Sun 15-Jul-07 21:53:40

Um, can't think on any particular milestones?
Maybe, she has just started to get a few signs recently??
what is pu/pd?
Good to know it may only be a week. I have had so many dire warnings for letting her fall asleep on the boob, I think I am V worried that this is going to be the pattern for here on in and worried emoticon!

Soft and tired crying I wish! These are sore on the throat screams at the injustice of being abandoned, you horrible mummy type of screams!!

PavlovtheCat Sun 15-Jul-07 22:01:16

Pickup/Putdown - baby whisperer. I think there are some threads on this around, explaining it better than I can. Its very gentle, and if your LO is falling asleep on boob and you want to break it anyway, it may well work for you. I found for my DD it worked well to break the falling asleep while feeding, and then went she did not want to sleep regardless of boob. I did not follow it to the letter, but rather adapted it to suit her. It does not work now really as she is fine when I am there, as long as I stroke her face, as soon as I stop and go to leave, she wakes as if she was never asleep in the first place .

Maybe a baby milestone is different to them than us?!

PavlovtheCat Sun 15-Jul-07 22:03:19

Those awful screams - yes they are the ones we have had for the last three days, so I know that I can leave her for 5 mins or 30 mins and she will not settle

fairysnuff Sun 15-Jul-07 23:12:42

Haven't been able to find any threads on pu/pd. maybe I am rubbish at looking!
I imagined picking her up would give her false messages. I have been going in and just popping her back onto her back. I stand at the side of the cot until she settles, then sit on the floor and creep out when I think the going is good. Comado stylee
I don't talk to her at all, I never have. I was always too nervous to talk incase I woke her, now I am too nervous to do it incase it stimulates her!!

Dh backs off until he is on the bed opposite the cot and then seems to be able to just walk out??
If I tried that she would see me a scream?! How does he do it??

He managed it again tonight. She fell asleep about 10ish. She is normally down by 8.15ish
And, no doubt, she will be up at her usual time of about 8ish and will be her happy self as if butter wouldn't melt!!

PavlovtheCat Sun 15-Jul-07 23:29:27

Sounds like what you are doing is baby whisperer style. I think the main difference is that if your LO gets very distressed or unsettled, you pick up for a couple of seconds and then back down, and continue with the putting back to lying position. I think. I cant remember exactly how I did it now. Its amazing how much things get forgotten .
DD was 8:30pm usually 7:30pm! Bit better than yours!

this site might help?. Might not be for you, but worth looking into at least.

Good luck! If I find a miracle cure, I shall let you know!

(teething? Thats my theory for everything, as she is always teething!)

fairysnuff Sun 15-Jul-07 23:38:52

Thanks Pavlov, I was about to give up for the night
I must get myself to bed now though. The site looks good, I will have a better read through it tommorrow.
I will pop this thread into my watching and give you a heads up if anything changes.
I guess it could be teething, but she was absolutely fine all day. Would it flair up just as she goes to sleep?
But then I go in and she is fine again. Not sure that it is anything other than she just doesn't want to be alone.
She is a clingy wee thing during the day anyway.

Twinklemegan Sun 15-Jul-07 23:43:01

Totally agree with Pavlov - I'm sure it's a developmental thing. DS had a few nights of this when he learned to stand up in his cot. We had to resort to having him fall asleep with us then putting him down. He's now learned, again, to put himself to sleep but only after a few minutes of him standing and whinging. We had a couple of very unsettled nights again just recently. He's nearly a year old.

fairysnuff Mon 16-Jul-07 10:53:03

She is soo great when you get her up in the morning, you think how could I ever have been cross at you??
Prob is developmental, she is normally so good at going down and goes down well most afternoons too.
Fingers crossed for tonight. This time we are just going to put her down at her normal time, that way I am not tired too.

I am frightened to just lie down with her incase it turns into a habit for her.
isn't it, that I am too frightened to just let her fall asleep in my arms unless it is on my boob?

fairysnuff Mon 16-Jul-07 22:26:41

She just wasn't sleepy tonight, at her usual time, so we let her play until she looked sleepy enough to go to bed.
About half 8
But she went down really well.
I changed my tactics though
As soon as she decided she had had enough boob, I put her in her bed. Normally I keep her in my arms hoping she will fall asleep and then I can put her in her bed, but this was clearly not working for us!
So, tonight I put her straight in her bed and then almost as quick, I left the room.
I didn't even have to do my comando style retreat!
I haven't heard a peep since!

BigHotMama Mon 16-Jul-07 22:35:22

Ohmygod? My ds is almost 10 months and has learnt this scream type of cry that just makes us sound like parents from hell to our neighbours. He has been going down like a dream until last week and every night guarantee he will wake up half hour after putting him down so we have had to start CC, we wait for 20mins then go in if he's still crying, but usually he gets himself back off, its so hard though listening to him crying like that!

Good Luck!

PavlovtheCat Wed 18-Jul-07 22:45:34

Fairy - how is it going? My end...awful! She wont go to sleep until 8:30pm - 9pm, but I know she is knackered. She also wakes up around 5:30am every day now , and I went back to work this week. She knows .

Seriously, DP and I have had endless chats about this and have two theories, based on something I read, so when I get more time I shall research it a bit more...

1. She has just started walking/talking - major developmental areas for her.
2. Seperation anxiety. I read this but can remember for the life of me where, that sometimes children who do not appear to suffer unduely with this normally may show some signs of seperation anxiety at night time, given that this is when they are completely alone, and more likely to focus on it, and feel afraid.

So we are thinking, given that seperation anxiety if often heightened with developmental milestones, as they become more needy as they develop more confidence, that as DD is now walking/talking, she is showing signs of seperation anxiety at night.

She settles fine, as long as we are in the room, the moment we leave, she is wide awake, yelling, red faced, tears, hot and very distressed, but will go to sleep snuggled right in my arms.

So, what do you think? Maybe its this for you too Fairy - suffering from a touch of nighttime seperation anxiety?

A plausable theory?

fairysnuff Thu 19-Jul-07 18:13:06

uuh! sigh!
No better really, my end either!

Hmm seperation anxiety? Could be, as I said, she is very clingy during the day. I can't be away from her for more than a second and she is at my ankles

It is taking nearly an hour to get her down.
Think we will bathe her at her usual time tonight so that the whole thing is finished earlier?
yeah, right! She will just stay up longer!!!!

fairysnuff Thu 19-Jul-07 18:15:56

Though, at least she does stay asleep until about 8ish. But it is still less than her normal 12 hrs.

I do think she is teething at the mo. Happy baby one minute and really crying the next. Third top tooth is nearly there, I think. But then I said that for about a month before her top two finally came through

PavlovtheCat Thu 19-Jul-07 20:46:49

I hope it is teething!
DD's mood is wonderful during the day, but night time, OMG! Last night, 9pm, after yelling for a very long time, then woke up at 1am for 30 mins, then 4am for 1 hour, then 6am for 20 mins, then 7:30am and I am exhausted! Woke up at 7:30 in a fantastic mood, not a jot of sleep all morning at nursery, 20 mins this afternoon, and would not sleep in the car when I got DP from work. Still in a great mood, laughing and giggling, until bedtime.

I kept her up and it only took 30 mins this time . I got my book, played with her a bit, then just held my hand on her, patting her bottom, nothing else, no talking or ssshing, and eventually she went to sleep. I stayed for a while and read my book!

I am going to just ride through it. It is a phase, it is a phase....

Might be a bit of teething, and seperation anxiety? Apparantly, its good and healthy

callmeovercautious Thu 19-Jul-07 21:08:05

My DD is 10m too and is doing wierd things at bedtime. Pavlov - we met on Sleep is for the weak under my old boring name ruth2007 - DD went from feeding to sleep, via cc to going down awake and swings between the two depending on teething and development etc. BUT in the last week she went from BF to sleep for a few nights to going down awake 4 nights in a row to tonight where she did not want milk but she did not want to sleep either

Not teething but is making moves towards crawling. In the end I gave her teddy and taggie and left her to it. Had to go back twice but she was shouting for me not crying??????

Conclusion anyone???? I am leaning towards the separation theory. I am used to her not wanting to sleep but this is different.

fairysnuff Thu 19-Jul-07 21:40:29

I had a nightmare tonight!
Bathing at about 1930(norm) and then dressed and feed. But I was still in there trying to inch my way out if the room at 2045!
Every time I made to move, she would get to the end of the cot and stand up to shout at me.
So we let her shout it out for 20 mins, standing at the end of her cot.
By that time she was exhausted and when I went in and popped her onto her back, she was soo sleepy. I stayed for a minute or two and then crept out.
Haven't heard a peep since, but I feel awful for making her shout for so long.
She was all sweaty in her hair

fairysnuff Fri 20-Jul-07 20:45:25

I know, I am awful!
DD fell asleep on the boob tonight and I am in bliss! I got to sneak out of the room, leaving behind, a happily sleeping baby.

callmeovercautious Sat 21-Jul-07 19:18:18

Hope your DD slept well last night. Mine fell asleep on me as well but the wierdest thing was she slept through until 8.30am!!! Me and DP were awake listening to her on the monitor checking she was OK! She hasn't done that for ages - maybe it is the start of good things to come

fairysnuff Sat 21-Jul-07 19:43:34

Oh no! don't jinx it!

DD slept well, only being woken by loudmouth drunken people outside, but even then, she went back down well again (they kept going until nearly five! some football league winning celebration thingy?).

Fingers crossed for us tonight She has only had an hours snooze today and her dinner was earlier than norm, so maybe we have her confused into thinking it is later than it is? Hopefully

fairysnuff Sun 22-Jul-07 21:36:13

So that was 2 nights where she fell asleep on the boob.
Tonight, she did not, but she did let me leave the room??
Only about 2 mins ago, so we will see.

She had a funny day today and did not take a snooze until 4, then took 2 hours. So got dinner at 6ish but I figured there was no way I was going to get her to bed again by 8! So here we are at 9.30
Not too bad I think, only an hour out on her norm.

How is everyone else doing?

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