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Help please! 4 month old sleeping.

(15 Posts)
StuntCroissant Sat 17-Nov-18 13:33:06

I know this has been done to death so apologies for not trawling through old threads but I'm just so knackered I can't face it!!

my 17 week old won't go for longer than 2 or 3 hours at a night. Everywhere I look there's stuff about the 4 month sleep regression, but we never made a sleep pro gression!!

He can't be hungry, but when he wakes he won't settle until I feed him to sleep (I've tried leaving him for a while but his fist-chewing and shouting turns into crying).

He's currently in a side-sleeper but invariably ends up in bed with DH and me, which I'm not completely against but I feel like he actually ends up waking more once he's next to me as he wants a comfort feed (maybe he can smell me??).

He's EBF and won't take a bottle or a dummy; I've tried lots of brands at various times. I wish he would take a dummy as I feel all he wants is the comfort he can only get from me.

I don't really know what I'm asking but I am now really, really struggling after 4 months of never sleeping longer than 3 hours at a time and it's affecting the energy I have to look after my 20-month-old who is also at home with me all day every day. She was and still is an excellent sleeper (nothing we did; purely by chance!) so I'm floundering with DS!

StuntCroissant Sat 17-Nov-18 18:45:44

Anyone?! sad

KTD27 Sat 17-Nov-18 18:50:36

Oh god stunt I’ve got nothing but I could have written your post word for word. Every 2 hours and I don’t ever remember it being this bad with my older one.
Hell is sleep deprivation that’s all I know for sure

SausageBrain Sat 17-Nov-18 18:52:48

Hope someone posts to help op, I'll be watching with interest as am unfortunately in the same boat with my 6 month old. He wakes every 2 hours (sometimes more) and screams as soon as he's put back down, he's a nightmare to settle. We're trying him in his own room tonight for the first time so all my fingers and toes are crossed it makes a difference for the better! I too am wondering whether he can smell me or something as he seems to sleep better when I'm not in the room with him, we'll see tonight anyway

I too have another child relying on me and school runs to do (brutal when you've just got back to sleep and the alarm goes off!) and frankly am not sure how I'm still functioning. The house is falling apart a bit now and I feel like I'm just going through the motions with everything. Really hope you have a breakthrough soon op flowers

KTD27 Sat 17-Nov-18 18:52:49

Oh and I mean literally word for word
Side sleeper but bed shares however we end up more knackered as she smells and suckles for hours
EBF and refuses all dummies
She’s just discovered her thumb though so I’m hopeful for a miraculous ability to self sooth being discovered any minute now

FiresideTreats Sat 17-Nov-18 18:57:13

It is so tough. We are only now seeing an improvement at almost 7 months. Only in the last 10 days or so has mine allowed me to feed him almost to sleep and then rub his back or pat him gently until he is fully asleep. This has seemingly coincided with his ability to sometimes resettle himself in the night, leading to longer stretches of sleep.

Do you feed to sleep for bedtime and naps? There is no harm in gently starting to break that association - but I honestly believe it is mostly developmental. Now that we have started to make progress I haven't fed to sleep for any naps (use buggy, car, or feed to very drowsy then pat) and it IS making a difference to the nighttime wakings.

I have to say, though, that up to this point he would point blank not have let me soothe him to sleep any other way. I have tried many many times but it just happened one day. I generally feed to very very drowsy then unlatch him. He will complain so I rock/cuddle/pat/shh for 30 seconds or so. If he starts getting upset I feed again, and repeat. It's slow but seems to be working. Hang in there!

StuntCroissant Sat 17-Nov-18 19:01:12

Oh bloody hell! Looks like we will just have to ride it out!! Thank you everyone!

StuntCroissant Sat 17-Nov-18 19:03:45

Ps @SausageBrain good luck for tonight. My DD definitely slept better in her own room. 🤞🏼

Beansprout30 Sat 17-Nov-18 21:27:00

Fireside has offered good advice. Am going through the same with my five month old. Tonight I attempted to start a bedtime routine upstairs and get her to fall asleep in her sleepyhead, she finally went down after half an hour of protesting, after 20 she was woken by her older sister coughing and I could not get her to settle back so she's back downstairs on the boob.

I think I'll try again in a few weeks, we co-sleep and she latches most of the night I think but I'm so uncomfortable in bed and would like DH back in bed sometime. I think getting them to settle at bedtime without being fed to sleep is key, but that's easier said than done

RaspberryBlonde Sun 18-Nov-18 07:53:06

I'd agree with Fireside that it is largely developmental and some babies get there quicker than others.

What makes you sure that he isn't hungry? I only ask since I also have 17 week old how wants every 2 to 3 hours. This is a bit of a regression for us as at one point he was doing a 6 or 7 hour stretch at the start of the night. However, he is definitely taking quite a bit of milk (and refuses extra day feeds). They can be too busy being nosy during the day.

You have my sympathy as my DD was like this and I was on my knees!

StuntCroissant Sun 18-Nov-18 08:11:12

Thanks all. @RaspberryBlonde only because sometimes he'll have had a feed less than 2 hours ago, and he will often latch on and then fall asleep, rather than have a good suck.

I just can't sleep the whole night with him latched on as I don't find sleeping on my side very comfy, but when I try and prise him off he wakes immediately. confused

He's currently in a sleepyhead but I might ditch it as when he's in our bed he seems to like to starfish and it looks quite small for him now.

RaspberryBlonde Sun 18-Nov-18 08:52:28

That did sound like comfort sucking then @StuntCroissant. It definitely sounds worth trying without the sleepy head if it's getting a bit small. My DS slept surprisingly well when we were away recently and I think it was because he was in a nice big travel cot and could stretch out. He's in a bedside crib usually which is long enough but narrow and he keeps hitting the sides!

Poppy1989 Sat 24-Nov-18 22:20:05

I breast feed by 4 month old son....

For the last few weeks he's been up every hour... feeds and sleeps.... Sometimes he doesn't even feed a lot (like 10 mins) and it seems just for comfort....
He then does this until 4-5am and is wide awake!!

I'm exhausted and drained!! I have no idea how to maybe change his body clock slightly!!!

II think I'm going slightly crazy!!
I can feel myself falling asleep when feeding him...
it's miserable xx

Beansprout30 Sun 25-Nov-18 20:47:49

@poppy1989 do you feed lying down? If not this could save your sanity

KTD27 Mon 26-Nov-18 10:20:55

We are up every hour at the moment too. I do feed lying down when it all gets a bit too much but I don’t sleep well and it hurts my back plus I find she sort of latches on and doesn’t let go. Last night it was for two hours!! Not ideal. Just trying to ride out this sleep regression but I’m losing my sanity too!! smile

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