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who puts their over 6 year old child to bed at 6pm? is she the only one?

(42 Posts)
soviet Wed 31-Jul-02 16:58:03

My daughters best freind goes to bed at 6pm too. although the daughter hate it.

oxocube Wed 31-Jul-02 17:33:23

Until about 6 months ago, my two went to bed at 6.30 when they were 6 1/2 and 4 1/2. They were knackered and are up early regardless. They didn't mind though and were allowed to play quietly or read in their rooms for about another hour or so.

threeangels Wed 31-Jul-02 20:09:26

I think 6:00 is pretty earlier but if the child is drained at the end of her day then it probally is a good idea. If my children were not tired and did not want to go on their own I would not put them that early. Does her mom work all day long? I have not even finished cooking dinner by 6:00 half the time. That is the earliest I have ever heard. There must be a reason why she puts her to sleep so early.

Lindy Wed 31-Jul-02 20:24:04

Slightly changing the subject but can babies sleep TOO much - it is now 8.30pm & my DS, 18 months, has been asleep since 2.30pm - he usually has 2 - 3 hours after lunch nap & then goes to bed at 7pm (yes, I know I shouldn't be complaining !!) he wakes around 6.30am. Today he was extrememly active at an outdoor 'fun' event ...... but even so, this seems exessive ( I have checked he is breathing OK !!).

Any comments?

threeangels Wed 31-Jul-02 20:29:07

Lindy, your ds is probally just extra sleepy. Do you normally put him down at 2:30? Maybe this has something to do with it. If I put my ds down in the later part of the day he will sometimes sleep a lot longer. I usually have to wake him up because he wont just sleep straight through till morning. His normal nap time is 12:30. He sleeps till 4:30.

MABS Wed 31-Jul-02 20:58:06

Lindy - I'm with you on this . My 21 month old slept from 12.15 - 3.10 today and then went to bed at 6.20 . He'll sleep through to 7am all being well. I don't argue though ...I love it

(probably have a hideous night now...)


soviet Wed 31-Jul-02 21:01:02

The trouble is that my daughters freind frequently complains to me about her early bedtime when I take her to school with my daughters. It appers that the only reason she goes to bed so early is so that mummy cam have an undesterbed night of soaps. The mothers excuse is that there is to much sex and violence on TV late at night. The girl doesn't even get up that early (7:00am) and is embarrised because my youngest stays up longer then her. Does any else's kid go to bed this early that you know of.

soviet Wed 31-Jul-02 21:02:20

She is 8 by the way

MABS Wed 31-Jul-02 21:07:38

mY 7 yr old daughter sleeps from 7 'til 7 on a school day - she's always loved her bed .

KMG Wed 31-Jul-02 21:13:01

Children vary a lot as to their sleep needs - horses for courses. My eldest drove me demented when he was tiny - at age 2 he only needed about 9 hrs sleep in total per day. Now (they are 3 and 5) they both need AT LEAST 12 hrs per night, which they generally get, otherwise they turn into monsters. They often have 13 hrs - that is asleep in bed time, not reading or playing. They start school and nursery in September, and I'm expecting they'll need a bit extra sleep for a while!

threeangels Wed 31-Jul-02 21:15:51

Soviet, I dont want to sound like Im judging your dd's friends mom but could it be that she just wants to get rid of her for the night? Its sad that the little girl knows she is forced to go to bed so early and has no choice. I would feel so guilty. The time seems so unrealistic for the age (school age).

threeangels Wed 31-Jul-02 21:18:27

I do want to say that I mean the time is unrealistic if the child is putting up a fuss about going to sleep at that time.

Mopsy Wed 31-Jul-02 21:31:26


I don't like the sound of your friend's behaviour; she has effectively admitted that she puts her own desire to watch tv before the wellbeing of her own daughter.

Can she not do something else besides watch tv? And as the watershed isn't until 9pm it's a weak argument for several reasons.

Isn't her daughter allowed to be in her room, reading or playing? Does she have to actually be in bed?

I have to say I do see this as abnormal and either irrationally or cruel controlling behaviour which will have a negative impact on her daughter.

When my ds was 9 he went to bed at 8pm and could read or play quietly in his room for a further half hour. All his friends had the same or very similar arrangements.

Perhaps you can talk to the child a bit more, some very gentle questions. If you still have any concerns you could contact the health visitor attached to her GP's surgery for further advice. Good luck, I think you are right to be concerned.

Lilia Wed 31-Jul-02 21:54:46

Just wanted to say, I put my almost 9 months old to bed at 6.30. Is it too early?

threeangels Wed 31-Jul-02 22:38:31

Lilia, I feel if the time works for your child and he/she doesnt have a problem with it then why not. Extra rest is good. I wish mine would go at 6:30 sometimes but they would think I'm nuts. The two oldest are 12 and 9. I just hate to hear of parents who put them to bed early just to get rid of them. Working in daycares you hear lots of different stories. Yours is still a baby.

tigermoth Thu 01-Aug-02 08:44:31

I agree with Mopsy. I think for an 8 year old, such an regular early bedtime verges on the cruel - unless of course she easily falls asleep then. My 8 year old son goes to bed at approx 9.00 as do many of his friends.

You only have to look at the times of after school clubs and activities to realise that the organisers assume bedtime for an 8 year old is later than 7.00. ie my son's cub group doesn't start till 6.00pm and finishes at 7.30 pm.

You say the daughter has complained to you about this. Are you sure the 6.00 bedtime is happening each day? Is she allowed to read in bed or must she sleep?

Are you thinking of talking to her mother about this? If so I think you're right to do so. Perhaps you could point out how many clubs for this age group don't finish till after 7.00.

If your friend needs time alone in the evening, and her daughter wants to do something after school, has she thought about getting her enrolled in some clubs or activities? Perhaps you could talk about your two daughters joining a club first as a non-confrontational way into this conversation?

Lindy Thu 01-Aug-02 08:52:28

Just an update on my DS's sleeping pattern last night - eventually at 10pm I decided to wake him & give him some milk (he'd had nothing since lunch at 1pm) - he drank it, & went back to sleep until 6.15 this morning - nearly 16 hours of sleep!

No, I don't think 6.30 is too early for a 9 month old at all - my DS was going at 6pm until the clocks went forward.

soviet Wed 25-Sep-02 19:49:33

do you any ones older children with such an early bedtime

WideWebWitch Wed 25-Sep-02 20:26:34

I have a friend with a 5 yo ds who goes to bed at 6.30 There's no way mine would sleep at that time so I wouldn't consider it.

lilibet Wed 25-Sep-02 20:33:11

both my 5 and 9 yr old are about to go to bed, both will be up without much prompting at 7, I do wish sometimes that they would go earlier, but if they go earlier, they get up earlier and I can't stand them up before 6, so i feel this is best for all of us. If they weren't getting enough sleep they would be hard to rouse in the morning. I can tell when they have had a late night and its hard work in the morning. But my friend who has children the same age, baths them both at 6, the 5 year old is in bed for 6.45 and the 9 yr old at 7.30. We live in the same street and to see the 5 yr old at his bedroom window in his pyjamas watching my 5 yr old chase around the street on his bike makes me feel dreadful.

hmb Wed 25-Sep-02 20:40:34

My 5 and a half year old, and 2 and a half year old are both in bed by 7. And they are both fast asleep by 7.10. They wake up at 6-6.30ish, which suits all of us, as we need to get an early start. They will wake at that time, whatever time they go to bed. If they dont get 11-12 hours sleep each night they turn into monsters, and I fall apart

It is interesting that Dd (the elder) has always needed more sleep than Ds. When she was under a year she would go to bed at 6, with no fuss, and sleep through till 7

helenmc Wed 25-Sep-02 22:20:15

My 8yr old dd and 5yr goes to bed at 8, tho to be honest it could do with being a bit earlier - probably 7:30. The other 5yr dd has been known to go to bed at 5 and sleep thro til 7pm!!!! But 6pm seems incredibly early - does she have to be in bed or can she play quietly in her room for a bit?

SueW Wed 25-Sep-02 22:57:13

My 5.9yo goes up to bed at 7.30pm, then we read a story (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is the current book) and I aim to be out of the room by 8pm.

I don't hear from her after that although she always picks up the book again after I leave the room.

She gets up around 7.15am.

ScummyMummy Wed 25-Sep-02 22:59:33

I wish I could go to bed at 6 sometimes...

Bumblelion Thu 26-Sep-02 16:57:07

My 11 month old is always in bed by 7:15 and sleeps through to 7 am. My DS aged 5 1/2 is always in bed by 7:30 (apart from a Wednesday when he sees his dad and it is nearer 8:30 by then and, boy, do we pay for it the next day). He always reads his school reading book to me and then I read him a story (this takes 5 minutes for both readings at most). Then it is lights out and he is always straight off to sleep. My DD aged nearly 10 is always in bed by 9 pm (watershed TV, etc.) but she always reads before sleeping (like her mother!). She sleeps in the same room as her baby sister but having the bed side light on doesn't disturb the baby. I always try to make sure DD light is out by 9:15. Ideally I would like to get her into bed a bit earlier (say by 8:15 on school nights) but this is harder to put into practice. For example, she has Brownies Tuesday nights and is never hungry enough to have dinner before she goes. That means, after picking her up at 7:30, she then has a shower while I cook her dinner and then she just has to watch Holby City. Saying this, she does have later nights on the weekends (especially when she stays at her dads on Friday nights as he gets a kiddies video that DS wants to watch and then once DS is in bed DD watches a film that wouldn't be suitable for DD).

Sorry for waffling - seem to have lost the plot a bit!

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