Holiday sleep hell

[Bubbagirl]

Went on holiday yesterday. Flight was awful time so obviously massively disrupted little ones (6months) sleep. But I now feel I am having the most terrible holiday which isn't fair on my husband or 3year old or my mum and step dad who came with us.
Last night I was up every 45minutes having to resettle her. She won't sleep in the cot she won't even sleep on our bed she'll only sleep on me or hubby. (This is a baby who usually self settles for naps and always self settles for bedtime and does a good 6-12hours without waking).
Last night in the end we gave in and just let her sleep on us but now she has screamed the place down for both her morning naps.
Last night I had to abandon my dinner and go back to the room with her as she was just miserable (&this was an early dinner pre bedtime).
Also missed breakfast this morning as was trying to settle her for morning nap and she screamed on anyone but me.
Am I expecting too much for her to sleep in a strange cot different environment after a disrupted night?
She also is screaming in the buggy and just wants me to carry her. She'll go to my mum or hubby for a few minutes then screams for me (she was going through a bit of separation anxiety before we left).
We are all sleeping in the same room (apart from mum and step dad) so difficult to just leave her to scream. I tried for her morning nap just leaving her for a bit as she was just crying a little but then it escalated to a full on scream? Hardly taking breathe kind of scream.
She is currently asleep on my shoulder while i cry and write this, sat in a dark (far too hot or far too cold room - aircon never right!) and I can't even lay her on my bed and sleep next to her as she screams again 😩
I am exhausted and feel it's only going to get worse.
Also terrified about when we go home that she'll want this all the time now and don't know how to stop it. I'm ok with letting her cry a little bit but screaming and sobbing I can't handle.
I literally want to get the next flight home!
Any advice or reassurance much appreciated as right now I can't stop crying and hubby and I are arguing a lot!

[darkgrn]

Oh so sorry to hear this :( I have had slightly similar when my little boy was 6 months and we went away.
Could she also be teething?
How far away have you gone?

I was utterly exhausted after our weeks holiday but once we got home he went back to his usual sleep routine if that gives you any hope.

Things I found that helped. Having him in the sling through the day. He napped in there and was a lot easier to handle.
In the night husband slept on the floor (bless him) and me and baby had bed. Could sleep a little better then with him awkwardly on me. Also husband got up with him so I could sleep in.
Hope some of this helps.

[Bubbagirl]

@darkgrn thank you so much for your reply that does give me a little hope. We're in Greece and away for 10 days 😩 so hope that's not too long to create bad routine!
Our bed is huge so that's the only good thing ha plenty of room lol
Thanks for your advice and reassurance. I just need to stop crying and pull myself together for my 3 year old and everyone else!

[darkgrn]

Honestly I think once you're home baby will be fine. I think they sort of slot back into routine as the environment is so familiar for them and the routine etc. Try not to let it worry you.
DS is now 10 months and we are away in Spain. He slept terribly for the first 4/5 nights (think he's also teething) but he's now settled down so that could well be the case with yours as well.
Also (sorry just thinking of all these things now. Also lying in the room with air con on while he naps beside me as a move to the cot was too risky lol) I had to keep reminding myself how young he was at 6 months. He seemed to be handling being away well but was SO clingy and I did basically have to hold him the entire holiday. I had hoped for a break as my family were with us and willing to take him but he was having none of it 😩

Only other advice I have is to just try and be kind to yourself and sort of 'go with it' once I excepted he'd be stuck to me it got a little easier.
I'm sure your three year old will have a great time with Grandparents and daddy too so try not to worry.

I do feel for you though and sincerely hope things ease a little over the next few days xx

[Bubbagirl]

@darkgrn thank you, your reply has really helped. She definitely is teething too so that won't help!
I will just try and relax and go with it. Thanks so much for sharing your experience, I don't know why but it always helps to hear someone else has been through this! With my first we didn't go away until she was about 13months and then she just needed us to stay by her until she fell asleep and you're right she switched straight back to settling on her own when we got home.
Right after this nap I'm heading back out for lunch in a more positive mood. Thanks x

[darkgrn]

Absolutely agree that it helps to hear others have been through the same. Somehow makes it a little more manageable!
I really hope had a nice lunch and baby was ok xx

[FishesThatFly]

Are you breast or bottle feeding? A change in water to make the formula can have an affect.

Also is she pulling at her ears? Maybe the flight has caused them to hurt.

I'd definitely give some analgesia

[Bubbagirl]

@FishesThatFly I'm breastfeeding so don't think the water should be an issue but thanks for the suggestion. I did worry about the flight and ear pain. She hasn't shown any clear sign but it absolutely could be.
I think perhaps the disturbed night and the change of environment along with any pain from teeth/ears could all be contributing to her just wanting the comfort of a mummy cuddle while she sleeps. I don't mind too much on holiday but really can't continue back home 😩
Im currently sat in the pitch black in hotel room she was exhausted and fell asleep having last feed so I popped her in cot...I know she'll wake shortly screaming but at least I got to brush my teeth in peace 😂. Hubby has taken 3 year old to a show so at least they're having fun too!
I feel terrible but I just can't wait to get back home (& pray she snaps back to sleeping well 🤞)

[Singerleon]

Ears or teeth probably. Poor soul and poor you OP! Have you given calpol? Also can you pop a worn tshirt of yours in with her?

Hope she settles soon and you can have a

[BigLittleRedOne]

I really feel for you- I’ve been in similar situations and wondered why we’d even bothered going away! Very hard to relax when things are so unsettled.

I second the sling idea- can she nap when you are out and about so you don’t feel so confined to the darkened room and you can spend some time with your toddler.

I found evening meals with me rushing in and out of the bedroom really stressful, so I tried to make the most of nice lunches and a glass of wine to take the edge off!

[LutherRalph1]

You can get a teething gel in Greece called Inaden which worked wonders while we were there, if it is teeth

[Tryingno1]

I just came back with 10mo from Greece who sleeps solidly 11 hours at home but went a bit mad away! He did improve reds the end but still either woke early or at least once for an hr / 2 and came info our bed.
He also became really clingy in day and only wanted me. And cried if I went out of sight!

Things that helped

In day I let him play in the cot with some toys. I think he was scared of the cot...whenever i put him in it he screamed even with lights on . By day 3 he was happy playing in there at least. So I gave him 10/15 mins a day to hang out in there knowing it was a safe place.

I also kept bedtime routine the same. I took the same book/gro bag/Ewan sheep with me I don’t know if there’s anything you took which. Will make them feel safe? Or u could play on ur iPhone if u have a song etc.

While we were away it was also the first night we had him in our bed since he was tiny!!! I got to admit I enjoyed the cuddles but at the time I was tired !!!

Hope it improves!!!!

[Tryingno1]

Ps we got back and he’s completely gone back to normal!! So don’t worry about when ur back! I tried to rock / pat/ hold/ feed to sleep while away but worried about “bad habits” rubbish. It was all fine in the end. Do wot you need to and when your back she will hopefully be fine! Luckily mine has been ok on return! Thank god!

[Bubbagirl]

Thanks for the reassurance and advice everyone! Seriously regretting not packing the sling...I thought it'd be too hot so I didn't bother but clearly it's helped a few of you lots doh!
@Tryingno1 thanks so much for the advice I actually tried to let her play in the cot this morning ( I stuck her big sis in there with her actually) and funnily enough she settled herself for 1 of her naps today (it was only a 30min job but I had 30mins to chill out in the room without a baby on me trying not to move 😂). I'll def keep trying the plY in cot thing.
I've been using her normal grobag and wave music so I'll stick with that too.
So reassuring to hear so many of you say baby reassumed normal sleep once home...it gives me hope!
Thanks

[Tryingno1]

Great bubba! She will continue to improve. It must be scary for them wondering where the hell they been placed! We had a few 30 mins naps too! But I used them to drink some wine on the balcony quickly!

[Branleuse]

She might have sore ears from the flight. Have you given her calpol

[Bubbagirl]

Please someone just reassure me again that she may just jump straight back into her normal routine when we get home?!😩
This is so awful, I'm not enjoying the holiday at all. I'm so tired and just fear I'm creating habits that I just don't want and won't be able to manage in our normal everyday life.
I'm angry at my husband for booking the holiday as I said I thought it was too soon but I know he was just trying to do a nice thing. I know I'm being snappy with him.
I don't think it's ears as she's showing no signs and is happy when awake (if a little tired). I'm not even sure if teeth although first night we did give calpol as thought she seemed uncomfortable.
She's had one very short nap in the cot but otherwise has slept on us/in our bed or I've transferred her to her bed after feeding and she's slept there until stirs when she screams again 😥👌😔

[Tryingno1]

My little boy had 6 nights away and I rocked him and let him sleep on me which we never need to do. Sometimes it didn’t work so he was just overtired the whole holiday!

Took us one day back home and it’s all fine he’s self settling and sleeping as he usually does!

I’m sorry it’s not gotten better!

[Bubbagirl]

Thank you @Tryingno1 that's just what I needed to hear!
Out of interest what did you do when u got home, did you just put him down as usual? Did you have to do anything to help him get back on track like leave him to cry at all?
Thank you!

[Tryingno1]

Well my LO cries for 30 seconds every time I put him in his crib and leave the room and then stops rolls around chatting and falls asleep. He’s done this from he was 5 months I think it’s just his way of letting of final bit of energy and I’ve tried everything but accepted it’s just him! When I got back it was maybe 1 minute maximum a few times but nothing more. And not every time. He only does it for naps never bedtime. But clinginnes has continued quite markedly (but he’s 10 months which is a peak age to get SA) so I don’t think that’s the holiday.

I was worried about bad habits etc, but then you just have to survive while away and all get some rest. Then deal with it when your back! I decided my lo was scared to be in this new weird crib so he needed me so I helped him out. But when I got back I took the approach that he was back in his cosy cot and we all needed our sleep again! Luckily he felt the same. We going away soon again and I think it will be our last for a while!!!!!

[Bubbagirl]

@Tryingno1 that's exactly like my dd she always seems to need a 30second cry before falling asleep for naps but never bedtime. It's funny isn't it!
Well hopefully they're similar in other ways too and she'll go right back to normal sleeping when home like your DS.
Aw, well I hope you guys have a great hol this time and DS sleeps ok

[Bubbagirl]

@Tryingno1 sorry another question for you...while you were away did you continue trying to put ds down in the cot and then just pick him up/comfort him/let him sleep on you when he cried? Or did you just give up even trying the cot?
I'm not sure if I'm doing more damage still trying to put her down in the cot as she screams every time and then I pick her up.
Thanks

[WineIsMyCarb]

Try making her bed with all your dirty clothes (sweaty t shirts a favourite). Babies are just little animals and can get upset with unfamiliar smells in new environment. It's about the only 'Earth mother' thing I did for my two who self settled and loved their own rooms from a very young age.

[Tryingno1]

Hi bubba
No better? I’m so sorry!

I did a mixture! One night I remember him crying for about 5 minutes trying to get himself to sleep so I went in and I patted him for 45 mins and he didn’t sleep (my back was broken as I was bending over a travel cot!) so then I left him and he fell asleep alone?! . For naps he either did his usual 30 second cry so I left him to it. Or I went in and patted him till he calmed and left that was usually all he needed.

In middle of night wakings and early wakings of which there were many!!
I would pick him up and hold him on me. Middle of night he would fall back asleep and I could lie him down on our bed patting him but for the early wakenings I would keep him on me and pace the bathroom for an hour until he slept!!!! And keep him on me and I couldn’t put him down or he would wake!

Don’t worry about coming home just survive while ur there! I was worried too but coming back it’s been fine.

[Tryingno1]

So in short I tried to let him do it alone but more often than not I had to get him.

[Bubbagirl]

@Tryingno1 thank you, reassuring to know!
@WineIsMyCarb thank you for the suggestion, I'll pop my top in there with her tonight!