8 month sleep regression / hysterics and vomiting - please help !

[Shazafied]

Hi all,

My 8.5 month old, as much as I love her dearly, is going to kill me!

{May or may not be relevant - She had bad a cold a few weeks ago but seems to have recovered. During her cold I ended up holding her a lot at night, rocking her , just whatever she needed. This seems to have segued into a hideous sleep regression.

Also unsure of relevance - she went off her food with the cold and is now only eating certain ginger foods in v small amounts. She used to eat finger foods and purées quite heartily but 90% of her calories are from formula milk now. Trying my best to gently build the food back up. }

She is a very active baby , never sits still Unless sleeping , can nearly crawl and is pulling up/cruising (spends most of her waking hours in these projects, gets bags of floor time).

I worked so hard to get her from 4 night wakes (at 5-6 months) to 1 night wake/feed at 2am. Had about two weeks of decent sleep and then the cold hit, now this.

She's going to sleep after the usual bedtime routine, bath at 1815, that's not my kitten/monkey/puppy type book on my knee, bottle , asleep by 1900-1930 (sometimes on me , sometimes falls asleep in cot). We have black out blinds, white noise, nothing in cot ... she sleeps in gro bags.

She's having two daytime naps now, rather than three . Last nap ending 1600 at latest.

What's happening during the night:

Wakes up once or twice for c. 2.5 hours each time (eg 2300 and 0300 ish but does vary). Isn't doing happy "morning style" waking up with babbling etc, but waking up up crying and writhing about, flipping around on to her from and trying to crawl about the cot, getting stuck in corners, pulling up and standing at the edge of the cot. Cries and whines the whole time, if I don't intervene it escalates to hysterical crying and gagging / projectile vomiting. I try and settle / pat her back to sleep , or sit next to the cot shushing her, she gets hysterical and vomits. All the calms her down from the crying stage is my picking her up, and rocking her, feeding her when she has calmed enough to take it. After she had calmed down and fed she is a little calmer, I put her back in the cot and the manic writhing/ flipping etc starts again. Again she will get hysterical after a point and I pick her up and rock her before she vomits (I don't want to be changing her a lot during the night). Eventually after about 2-3 hours of this she wears herself out and will be put back into the cot one final time, have a bit of a swan song wriggle about and drop off to sleep.

I try not to talk to her or make eye contact during these episodes. I'm trying to let her know that I am there but it's not time to interact. I'm worried though that I am picking her up and rocking her etc so much during the night (mainly to stop her getting to the hysterics stage) that these habits will stick.

She does this once on a good night , twice on a bad night. It's been going on for about 2 weeks now.

I've read so much conflicting advice about how to handle this sleep regression and mostly "don'ts" lists -
-Don't start habits habits that you don't want to keep
-don't let the baby feel abandoned / start sleep training at this stage as they are starting with separation anxiety and it could make things worse

Etc

I am on my knees. Husband works away during the week and I'm on my own with her. No family nearby and nobody I could leave her with.

What can I do to minimise this phase and prevent sleep problems later / prevent starting bad habits ? How did others survive ?!

Thank you

[Shazafied]

Certain ginger foods = certain finger foods!

[CornishFairing]

Bump .... anyone ! X

[crazycatlady5]

She is still really little. Please have a look at the 8-10 month sleep regression, it’s a rough time but she needs you during these times. It’s very very hard for you but please bear in mind it’s very hard for her too she has no understanding and is struggling herself.

[shazafied]

Thanks for your reply,

I've been reading about the sleep regression but still no further forward on what I'm meant to be doing / not doing !

Really looking to here from others who have been through this.

[crazycatlady5]

Ive also been through it and it’s tough but honestly normal infant behaviour.

[TittyGolightly]

You can’t set up bad habits now.

My husband worked away during the week for the first 18 months of DD’s life. I did whatever got us both through the nights. DD is no trouble to get to bed now at almost 8. No rods for our backs from following her lead.

[TittyGolightly]

She’s basically having her brain rewired, might be teething and her gut biology is changing. On top of that she’s getting ready for crawling and waking and talking.

Imagine you need to learn to do all that. Think you’d sleep soundly?

[Shazafied]

Thanks , I have read about what causes the sleep regression and am totally understanding and doing whatever she needs.

I'm really looking for advice on a very practical level/to hear others experiences.

[goodgod12]

Just a quickie, will try to respond with more later, but any chance you could have her awake by 3pm from afternoon nap instead of 4? X

[Shazafied]

Hi goodgod, yes that's a good point , she is normally awake from earlier than 4, but 4 would be the latest she naps till. I could try and bring her 2nd nap forward though.

Today she had 2 x 45 min naps !! I think the second ended at 1440 ish.

Poor little things , I hate to see her so distressed at night . Is like she's not even 100% awake , her eyes are open and she's manically moving around in quite a tormented way.

[DrWhy]

On a practical level if it soothes her to be held and fed by you and your husband is away would it help you both to co-sleep so you are right there when she first wakes, she might not reach the hysterical point? It might not work and she just writhes around and wakes you that way instead but it seems worth a shot now she’s big enough that it’s less of a worry to co-sleep.
Otherwise I’d just pick her up and soothe her as soon as it starts and hope it helps head it off.
That said I have a nearly 2 year old who still very rarely sleeps through so I’m probably not a good person to advise!

[Oly5]

Oh my word, just pick her up. My 9mo is currently up 3/4 times a night and will only settle if fed to sleep or cuddled. Then I put her back in the cot once she’s asleep. I’ve got 3 kids and they were all the same at this age.. they do sleep eventually, generally by the age of 18 months/2 they are sleeping through the night.
Stop worrying about the right thing to do. Your baby is tiny and probably teething. Just pick her up, feed her and cuddle her and put her back once asleep. Shushing and patting are fairly useless at this age I think.
It will get better I promise!!

[bobstersmum]

Since it began after a bad cold I suggest getting her ears checked. My dd started at 12 months old like this and it went on and on, she is now under ent and on a low daily dose of antibiotics to keep the infection at bay and she is much much better (over 3 months down the line!) she was virtually as you described. Worth checking.

[shazafied]

Thank you ... I think you might be right. I might have been handling it wrong e.g trying to calm her without lifting her initially (trying to shush her, pat her , white noise , dummy etc, hoping she'll go back to sleep) but then she gets worse and I end up lifting her anyway (then rocking feeding etc).

So maybe it's just was well to lift her up and do all that immediately. I'll try that tonight.

She might still need to wriggle and flip about for two hours regardless though

[Shazafied]

it maybe sounds like I haven't been picking her up , I have been every single time, after a minute or two ... I guess I've been trying to follow what I've read in books too much. And yes you're right, been worrying about "doing it right". So many warnings not to introduce bad habits now etc.

Tonight I'll pick her up straight away and see if it makes the whole episode milder.

[itshappened]

What solids are you feeding her? Could she have reflux and / or a dairy intolerance? Is she drinking water? Is she constipated or experiencing trapped wind? My daughter was like this until we got her silent reflux under control with medication. She also cannot eat dairy or gluten and really struggled with solids in the beginning as they made her constipated and she had terrible tummy ache at night from trapped wind caused by food intolerances. She would cry, moan, writhe etc for hours. It was very distressing to watch and totally exhausting for all of us.

[Shazafied]

Thanks Oly5 .... sorry you must be knackered too! Really helpful advice though. Glad to hear it's normal ... none of my friends with kids/babies seem to relate to this at all!!

[Oly5]

It’s a good point about getting her ears checked in case she has an infection. If she’s distressed for two hours then I’d think she’s in pain. Have you tried calpol for possible teething pain etc?
Yes, standing over a cot trying to “teach” a baby they should sleep in a cot is pointless at this age I think and just leads to unnecessary crying. The vomiting would worry me as well, don’t let her get hysterical.
Just pick her up, feed and cuddle and pop her back 10
Minutes later. That way you get more sleep!!
It does get better. By 13-15 months, I’d night weaned my middle child by only offering water and was managing for them to fall to sleep with me just in the room.
It feels like you will be doing this forever but it does improve. Hang in there

[TheSheepofWallSt]

If you can, safe co-sleeping may well be your saving grace. I’m still cosleeping at 2 years old, happily-and he can self settle etc before I come to bed, so not terribly dependent on me For sleep. but it does need to be to the safe sleep guidelines, especially under 1.

[Oly5]

Oh yes and bin the books! I tried that with my first child and he might as well have laughed in my face
It’s much easier if you just go with it.. less stressful for everyone

[Shazafied]

itshappened right now she will only eat

-Bits of ripe peach
-Gnaw on cucumber sticks (cut so it's mostly the soft bit)
-Ella's kitchen melty snacks
-Sometimes will suck a piece of cold cooked broccoli

Although I do offer lots of other finger foods as well as spoon foods.

She's also on sma comfort and has been since 3 months.

I hadn't considered reflux to be honest as she's not had problems before now ... is interesting that your baby was the same though.

[educatingarti]

If she is nearly crawling, this might be brain development and frustration that she hasn't quite managed it yet. I think she may well be calmer once she has learned to crawl. However, it might also be something like ear or tummy pain so might be worth experimenting one night to see if giving Calpol works. If so, take her to GP to get ears checked etc

[TittyGolightly]

She might still need to wriggle and flip about for two hours regardless though

Mine did. Could set your watch by her. Then she’d sleep till noon. :)

[Jelly67]

Have you heard of this? I've just got it for newborn because it seems to have great reviews. It's quite detailed and very specific around times for naps etc and I haven't quite got the hang of it yet but am implementing parts of it bit by bit:
www.littleones.co/products/older-baby

[Shazafied]

I could take her back to the docs. She is still getting calpol at night just in case her ears were hurting more when she lay down. Her cot is also inclined (never took it back down when her cold seemed to improve).

Yes I think I'll bin the books!