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Self settling for 20 week old DS?

(5 Posts)
DotCottonIsMyIdol Sat 21-Apr-18 11:36:31

My DS is really struggling with night time waking currently. He's had been in a good routine of sleeping 8-8 with one bedtime feed at 11ish and two night feeds 2-3am then 5-6am. He's EBF, sleeps in a next to me cot and had always been fed to sleep.

As of the last week or so he's now waking mulitple times hourly all through the night. The longest sleep he has managed is 2 hours. Very aware this is usual at 4 months and although it's very hard I'm coping (just). I don't have any help from 'D'H or family.

All advice I've read suggests I need to help him self settle in his cot so when he comes out if his sleep cycles he can get back off with out me but I just don't know where to start!

HV has said just put him down drowsy and stay next to him but no shhh-ing or patting. The boy is have none of it. I can PUPD for some of his night wakes but again he'll have done of this at bedtime. I don't want to do any sort of CIO or CC as he's too little (and I can't take it).

Is there anything else I can try?

Madratlady Sat 21-Apr-18 12:00:04

Unfortunately he'll self settle when he's ready. I haven't done any kind of 'sleep training' because I don't agree with it. I fed and then cuddled to sleep with no help from dh too, the first year or so was pretty hard work tbh but it has steadily got easier. The wake ups got shorter and less frequent, he fell asleep more easily. My first slept well, apart from the odd sleep regression phase, from a few months old. My youngest is 2 1/2 and we're now at a point where he has a drink and a short cuddle then gets into his bed and falls asleep. He often wakes at night still but usually once, has a drink of water and is tucked back in and back to sleep within 15 mins. It's been a bloody long road, I think sleep deprivation is the worst part of parenting, but I'm pleased that he's getting more and more able to sleep without lots of settling from me. Having said that he's currently getting his last set of teeth so I think we're in for some rough nights. He knows he can call me if he needs me at night though, which I feel is very important.

My opinion here is not that you need to sleep train your baby, you need your oh to step up now before you end up with a 2yr old who won't settle for daddy like I did.

DotCottonIsMyIdol Sat 21-Apr-18 21:13:44

Thank you Madratlady I do know really that just need to wait for him to be ready to settle it's just hard when I'm so exhausted and everyone is telling me something different. I keep thinking it must be something I've done wrong.

'D'H can't cope for more than 10 mins with DS, He's decided he can't entertain him or comfort him as DS doesn't liked him, it's a cop out. He's been in the spare room since he was born and just doesn't spend anytime with us therefore can't understand what to do now DS isn't in the new born sleepy all day phase. It's crap and I feel so sad that he's missed the opportunity of having a bond with DS and I feel utterly deserted by him. Apart from his night wakes DS really is a very happy and jolly little chap as long as he's fed and napped on time. DH has no clue what our days or nights are like, let alone what sort of routine DS needs and how hard it is to keep on top of everything else in the house when it's all goes a bit awry. He's watched me attempt to make myself a cup of tea about 4 times today without a murmur, I got to make it finally at 4pm but only drank half. We'd been doing brilliantly until these least few weeks so hopefully it'll soon pass.

I'll keep trying to give DS the chance to settle but he will always know I'm here for him with as many cuddles as he needs. Rant over!

crazycatlady5 Sun 22-Apr-18 10:49:45

Look up the 4 month sleep regression it sounds like that is what is going on. My 15 month old doesn’t self settle yet!

arbrighton Sun 22-Apr-18 16:36:54

I'd also suggest reading the gentle sleep book by Sarah Ockwell Smith

helps you understand what normal baby sleep is, why sleep training doesn't really work and what you can do to help whilst telling you there is no quick fix

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